[Faith-talk] FW: [reachingouttoothersgroup] Harsh, Critical, And Judgmental People <>

[Eric Calhoun]

Original Message: 
From: "Mary Ann" <SongsofJoy at shaw.ca>
To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
Subject: [reachingouttoothersgroup] Harsh, Critical, And Judgmental
People <>
Date: 
Sun, 4 Mar 2012 09:27:40 -0700




Harsh, Critical, And Judgmental People

 

If you are going to make a stand for God there will always be difficult
people push us to the limit of what we can deal with. Often there are other
like me who really try to teach and preach the truth, but get slapped hard
in the face by some one who disagrees with what we believe and stand for. 

While I read their comments to see if I can get a glimpse of what they
see in me that maybe true, I do not judge myself by the harsh and
condemning way they do.

What is the secret for dealing with difficult people? It may be a family
member, co-worker, or salesperson that causes our frustration.
Personalities collide, tempers flair, and we say and do things that we
later regret. 

There are some steps we can take that will not only guard us against
further stress, but help us establish a healthy attitude during those
challenging moments. 

Difficult people cultivate anxiety, resentment, or feelings of
inadequacy. At times, a brief encounter with that disruptive individual
ruins our entire day. Any long-term relationships with difficult people
create tension that mounts with each passing day. Regardless of the length
of the confrontation, we often find ourselves feeling miserable. 

Dealing with Difficult People - The Categories: When dealing with
difficult people, it is helpful to know what drives them. A difficult
person falls into three basic categories: 

  a.. One who drains others - By nature, their depressing and negative
attitude characterizes them as "life suckers." They frequently aggravate
and deplete us. They complain, but refuse to accept solutions or take steps
to improve their circumstances.
  b.. One who disrespects others - Through their constant criticism, we
find ourselves consistently on the defense. Their blunt, even cruel remarks
frequently leave scars that linger as abuse. They may be unsympathetic and
practice excessive rudeness and ridicule at our expense.
  c.. One who dominates others - Any aggressive nature which dominates
our workplace (or home) through intimidation is destructive. Boldness and
assertiveness give way to a meanness that ignores the harmful consequences.
The dominating person believes "might is right." 
Dealing with Difficult People - How to Cope
When dealing with difficult people, we must accept that we cannot control
the attitude of others. Regardless of our efforts, we cannot change another
person's heart. In fact, the Bible even speaks to this: "For from within,
out of a person's heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft,
murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, eagerness for lustful
pleasure, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness" (Mark 7:21-22). 

We also can become a "difficult person" when we judge another individual.
God has a way of dealing with critical people: "Stop judging others, and
you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them.
Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how
you are judged" (Matthew 7:1-2). 

Dealing with difficult people requires qualities that go against our
human nature. We are all resistant to change our opinions, especially if it
requires laying down our rights. But when we reflect God's nature, His
peace can transform the most difficult of relationships. When we overlook
another's faults, God looks over us. ". . . Clothe yourselves with
tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must
make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends
you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. . And let
the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts . . ." (Colossians
3:12-15). 

 

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