[Faith-talk] being healed from blindness

[justin williams]

I have asked God to find me a spiritual community; I'm keeping my ears open.

-----Original Message-----
From: Faith-talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of debby
phillips
Sent: Saturday, December 21, 2013 5:27 PM
To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion;
faith-talk at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] being healed from blindness

Hi Ashley, I know that it's very easy to generalize, and I shouldn't do it
because I hate it when other people do that.  We started attending a small
Free Methodist church, and I soon was on one of the worship teams, and
volunteered at the office.  I made phone calls, answered the phone for the
staff, and did other things.  I had a pastor who was a good pastor, he
helped me a lot.  I was praying about what I should do with my life, and was
feeling that perhaps God was calling me to some kind of full-time ministry.
One day he suggested that I should begin the process of becoming a pastor
within our denomination.  I began filling out the papers, and reading the
books that they recommended.  
Then I went away for the winter and did some work in the RV park where we
stayed for the winter.  The pastor of the church in the park asked me to
help with the ladies' Bible study, and I preached a couple of times.  All of
this, of course, I reported to my pastor back home.  When I returned that
spring, everything was awful.  There was a huge division within the church,
and there was talk of the pastor leaving.  Instead of coming back to a
situation where I was going to be more involved in things, I came back to
fighting.  I was allowed to go to staff meetings.  
They were stiff and horrible.  At the beginning of the summer I was hopeful
that something good would happen.  But as I left to go south for the winter
I had a sad feeling about the church.  My friend the old pastor was no
longer there when I returned in the spring, and there was a new pastor.  He
clearly had no time for me, and was not willing to mentor me oh do anything
to help me.  
The Board had a discussion in which I was not involved, nor even informed of
the results.  Eventually I found out what the results were, but only because
I blew up.  Anyway, I left.  I have had no desire to return to church
anywhere since then.  I tried a couple places while I was a student at CCB,
but I just couldn't get myself to care, I guess.  Anyway, that's kind of
where I'm at.  
my old pastor, Pastor Greg definitely had some issues which I think
eventually led to his leaving and retiring.  But he really did care about
people, and he did his best to show people that he cared.  One summer a
group of us went to Alaska on a mission trip.  I actually wasn't going to
go, but he encouraged me to think about it.  So I ended up going.  It
brought about huge changes in my life, or so I thought.  Sigh.  But he did
some interesting things.  We played games like croquet and some other games,
and everyone else had to be blindfolded.  I didn't suggest it, I didn't even
know that he was going to do that.  Anyway, anything I wanted to do he
always let me try.  I miss him a lot, and I'd probably still be in church if
he was still here.  Sad to say, I probably had my little part of causing him
to leave, because there were times when he did make me angry and one time
when I felt he went over the line and I probably added a little bit to the
drama.  I am so sorry for that.  I wish that I could go back and live that
part of my life again.  Sorry, I didn't 
mean for this to be my whole life story.     Blessings,    Debby

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