[Faith-talk] Daily Thought for Tuesday, June 11, 2013

[Paul]

Well folks, what a contrast to yesterday, when then it was raining quite hard and with flood warnings all over the place, and today nice and sunny, at least here in the mid-Atlantic region of the U.S.  I praise God that, although He sends the rain, after that comes the sunshine.  Haven't gone out for my walk yet, as I'm waiting for a phone call from someone who will be visiting here, but if he calls when I'm out, there's always the answering machine.  Anyway I hope that you all are having a good day or had one.

Most of the people receiving these messages are either married (hopefully happily) or maybe contemplating marriage.  Dr. Will Bruce had an insightful article written years ago in a publication called Faith Enterprises.  The title of his article is entitled "Helps For After You Say, I do," rendered as follows:

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

"Good advice," says Dr. Will Bruce.  However, from his perspective, "A high fence at the top of a dangerous precipice is much better than a well-equipped ambulance at the bottom of it." Here are some of Dr. Bruce's insights gleaned from his marriage of 59 years to his lovely wife, Jean, as well as his counseling experience.

The only foundation for a husband and wife being a complete and successful marriage partner and/or parent is finding their true identity, freedom, significance, security and acceptance in the Lord Jesus Christ (Galatians 2:20).

Couples are encouraged to spend time alone with God so that He can prepare their hearts and attitudes for sharing.  It is suggested that couples work through only a few of these points at one sitting and not try to do them all at one time.  In fact, before sharing with their spouse, some are finding effective growth and change through sharing their own needs regarding these points in men's or women's Bible study groups.

1.  Spend time together in prayer and in the Word.  Share spiritual gems you get from your private quiet time and your reading (sharing, not preaching).  (Colossians 3:16)

2.  Remember, each of you is in the best possible position to help the other grow in Christ-like maturity.  (Proverbs 27:17).

3.  Share with your spouse specific personal spiritual or other goals.  On a regular basis, be answerable to each other as to your progress or lack of it.  We need to be held accountable.  (James 5:16)

4.  Cherish the togetherness that God has given only you to share as husband and wife.  (I Corinthians 13:4-7)

5.  Share successes, failures, and concerns.  Encourage, support and show appreciation for each other's gifts, activities, and accomplishments.  Show interest in each other's interests.  (I Thessalonians 5:11-13)

6.  As you seek to fulfill your responsibility to meet the needs of your spouse, keep in mind that you are married to each other and not to your job, sports, hobbies, or anyone or anything else.  (Ephesians 5:28)

7.  Take time to understand and appreciate the God-given differences between men and women, both in their methods in reasoning, physical responses, and body cycles.  (Genesis 1:26; I peter 3:7)

8.  Work together on the details of adjusting to each other's immediate and extended families.  (Ephesians 5:21)

9.  Learn to say, "I was wrong," or "I am sorry," and ask for forgiveness.  Since we offend specifically, we should be specific in admitting our offense as we endeavor to walk in the light together with Jesus.  (I John 1:7-9; Ephesians 4:32)

10. Keep short accounts with each other.  Do not let hurts and misunderstandings accumulate.  Share little and big things that bother you.  Talk it out.  Don't let the pressures build up.  Beware of sweeping little hurts under the rug.  But don't make a point of every little thing and thus become a nag.  (Ephesians 4:25-27)

11. Beware of subtly manipulating your spouse to get your way "preferring one another in love." (Galatians 5:13)

12. Be willing to change out of love for each other.  Many things don't really matter which way they are done.  They are often just inconsequential patterns.  (Romans 12:16-18)

13. Take time to share together ideas that can improve every area of your relationship.  (Proverbs 27:17)

14. Face up to and deal with unrealistic, unmet marital expectations.  Deal especially with emotional "baggage" brought into the marriage from the past.  You cannot change the past, but in Christ, you can be free from it. (Philippians 3:13-14; Ephesians 4:32-5:2)

15. In addition to frequently expressing the words, "I love you," demonstrate it with actions, too.  (John 15:12-13; Colossians 3:17)

16.  Remember, sometimes the tone of voice conveys more than the actual words.  (Proverbs 15:1-4)

17. Do not correct or criticize each other in front of others.  Pray, and if God leads, do so with kindness and in private.  (Matthew 7:1-5)

18.  Protect and respect each other's privacy.  (Proverbs 11:13)

19. Review materials used in premarital counseling.  Attend an occasional seminar.  Read recommended books by Christian counselors and Bible teachers.  It is so easy to forget good points we were once taught.  (II Timothy 3:14-17)

20. Remember special days in your spouses' life, i.e., birthday, anniversary, etc.  Plan something special.  Also, surprise each other from time to time with thoughtful items (flowers, a note, etc.).  (Psalm 103:2)

21. On your wedding anniversaries, watch the video of your wedding or look over your wedding picture album, cards, etc.  Take inventory of the past year, make plans to overcome any areas needing change or attention, and renew your vows.  (Ephesians 5:18-33)

22. A final thought.  Although it is said that marriages are made in heaven, the daily maintenance work must be done down here.  (Ephesians 5:18-33)

May God use these thoughts as you work through them together to help improve your marriage relationship and possibly keep a "mole hill" from turning into a mountain.  Several of these points may trigger additional thoughts needing your attention.

And there you have Dr. Bruce's article.  I won't venture any comments on it, as I'm still single, but hopefully the Lord has a special lady in mind for me, as well as those others who receive this message and are single who are, deep down, longing to share their lives with that special someone.

And now until tomorrow when, Lord willing another daily thought message will be presented, may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob just keep us safe, individually and collectively, in these last evil days in which we live.  Your Christian friend and brother, Paul