[Faith-talk] Daily Thought for Tuesday, August 12 2014 and Answer to Bible Trivia Poem

[Paul]

Well folks, outside my windows and doors it is pouring rain to beat the band, and I understand that in Detroit they're having the same problem as well.  Wish we could send you folks much-needed rain who need it, but we can't unfortunately.  Anyway I hope that, by God's matchless grace and His providential care, that you are all doing well today.

Before I give you what is on the agenda today, for those of you who haven't yet figured out the answer to Sunday's weekly Bible trivia game poem, it was Ezekiel 34.

And now for a few humorous vignettes that I've picked up from here and there over the years.  Please note, however, that if your hometown is mentioned in one or more of these, that I'm not targeting your places of residence merely because you live there.  Just wanted to clarify things before I began before you started accusing me of not liking your particular location.  And now let's begin.

A woman was visiting an Indiana bee keeper when she was stung.  She approached the bee keeper with the news.

"Sir, one of your bees just stung me, and I want you to do something about it."

"Absolutely," replied the beekeeper, "just show me which bee it was and I'll have it punished."



"You can be such a nuisance on summer break," said the Duluth mother to her son.  "I'll be glad when you're back in school."

"I'll be there longer next year, Mom," replied the son.

"Why? Has the school year been extended?"

"No, but I'll be taller, won't I?"



A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.  "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."



Question:  Have you heard the story of the church bell?

Answer:  It hasn't ever been tolled.  (For screen reader users:  You just might like to put your device into spell mode, otherwise it won't make much sense).



Question:  Why is a banana peel like a sweatshirt?

Answer:  Because it's easy to slip on.



A grandmother was babysitting her grandson one summer day.

"How did you do in school this year, honey?"

"Well," the boy replied, "I got nearly 100 in every subject."

"What do you mean _nearly "100," the grandmother asked.

"Well, I got the zeros."



And that will do it for today.  I know that some of these humorous vignettes, if not all of them, might have seemed a bit lame to you, but maybe there were a few that tickled your funnybone.  Until tomorrow when, Lord willing another daily thought message will be presented, may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob just keep us safe, individually and collectively, in these last days in which we live.  Your Christian friend and brother, Paul