[Faith-talk] blindness and faith issues question

Wed Dec 17 22:51:06 UTC 2014

I get it, Andrew.  I was planning to just put him on the floor or in a 
small camping cot my friend was letting me borrow.  That's all.  I don't 
want Blake sleeping in my bed at all at night, and yes, purity should be 
at the center of our relationship, but going to the extreme of not 
allowing him to sleep in my apartment, even not my bed, is too much for 
us.  We don't have all the money in the world, and we need buses and 
light rails access so we can do our plans.  Each day I have filled with 
plans like doing double dates with friends, and then we have a date 
night planned where we go to possibly a concert at the concert hall in 
Denver.  I had lots of ideas, but if he's not here when the concert is 
on, forget that.  We're going to have a boring date night.  That's all.
Beth

On 12/17/2014 3:38 PM, Andrew via Faith-talk wrote:
> Hi I am with papa bear on this.  I feel you just need to take this
> before the lord and ask the lord to help you.  You also need to stay
> pure in the lord's eyes. I am not saying you are going to have sex and
> things but  but what i will say is this sleeping in the bed would not
> be a good idea at all in my opinion. i feel there would have no
> problem with him even to sleep on the couch and things but not in same
> bed.  I don't know  where you are at in your christian walk or where
> blake is at in his christian walk but  purity should be at the center
> of a relationship in my opinion and  those of us who are believers in
> christ really need  to  keep our lives pure out of respect for those
> who are not a christian or  not of same faith some may say differently
> what they believe but personally i feel the bible needs to be followed
> when it comes to purity and  i strongly am against people sleeping
> with people  of oppisite gender until they are married and the bed
> when the two come together  should be when they are one once a person
> is married there is no issues with you sleeping in the same bed. I
> would suggest that you and blake have a good talk  about boundries and
>   just temptations  generally speaking i feel  that every boy or girl
> friend needs to have these talks anyway.  sleeping in same bed before
> marriage i feel is just asking for trouble.  I won't tell you what to
> do but this is how i truly feel and i personally feel purity should be
> at the center.
>
> On 12/17/14, Poppa Bear via Faith-talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> Hello Beth, I understand your Pastors concerns, he is probably looking at
>> the situation the same way he would as a father, or a brother. I think that
>> his concerns are valid. I also think that circumstances can be difficult
>> for
>> people to understand even when they are really tuned into the Bible. I
>> think
>> that more pastors should be courageous enough to say what he did. If I were
>> you, I would really examine my heart and sort out if whether or not this
>> man
>> staying with you would be a sexual temptation, you don't want to deceive
>> yourself because if you fall into sin in this area it may take a long time
>> to deal with the guilt. If you feel that your heart is completely certain
>> that it is not a temptation and that he will strictly be staying with you
>> as
>> a boarding type of situation, no sleeping in the same bed, getting closer
>> than you know you should physically then I think you may be able to do it.
>> I
>> don't think you should leave your church over it, I am only speaking from
>> second hand, I know so little about your church overall. If you have a
>> clear
>> conscience over it, then rest in the Lord about it. Don't avoid church,
>> your
>> Pastor or church friends, don't debate over it or try to make a ten point
>> bulletin about it. Your pastor may be a little hurt or frustrated and have
>> his doubts about whether or not you can withstand this kind of temptation,
>> but that is natural in my opinion. Don't force the pastor to except your
>> decision, let him do his thing and give it time.
>> I hope that my thoughts help you have another perspective on this.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Faith-talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth
>> Taurasi via Faith-talk
>> Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2014 11:16 AM
>> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion
>> Subject: [Faith-talk] blindness and faith issues question
>>
>> Dear List members,
>> I don't normally post here much, but I have a situation that calls for some
>> blindness education, but it seems like all the blindness education is going
>> nowhere.  I had a little phone conference with my church's pastor, Glynn,
>> and he told me that all practicalities are trumped by the Bible's
>> commandment for women and men not to sleep in the same apartment, no
>> questions asked.  He didn't approach it in a nasty way, but I'm concerned.
>> Blake, my boyfriend from Arizona, is an alumni of the CCB.  He's coming
>> over
>> here to spend a week with me in Denver, but we've got the problem of the
>> church saying he shouldn't sleep in my apartment.  Well, even if he didn't,
>> the building I live in has some bad people in it.  Case in point, there was
>> a guy so demented in the laundry room once that demanded I not touch his
>> clothes, and I told him in a rather curt way that "I'm blind, I had no clue
>> those were yours."
>> Because of this, I have an aversion to community laundry rooms.  A
>> caregiver
>> goes down and does my laundry for me.  Plus the machines are not ADA
>> compliant.  Ugh.
>> But that's beside the point.  It  just proves that some males don't know
>> how
>> to take care of themselves in this building.  The other option the church
>> gave me was to have Blake's mother with him on the trip.  Nope.
>> That's not possible, Blake wants to see me and only me, and his mom doesn't
>> want to come.  Reasonably, I think this is fine since Kathy, the mother,
>> does not have any motivation much to get up and go to exotic places or
>> whatever.  All she is doing these days is working the studio.
>> She teaches tai kwon do.  Blake on the other hand is no longer active in
>> the
>> studio.
>> The church has also suggested that Blake live somewhere but not my
>> apartment
>> for the week.  I keep explaining that my apartment building is located near
>> a bus line, the 9.  Glynn didn't seem to think this was ok though.  Blake
>> and I have prepared for this moment, where the church people tell us not to
>> stay in the apartment together.  Hey, we don't want to have sex or anything
>> stupid, we just need places to sleep.
>> Where in the Bible would it justify Blake having to sleep somewhere else,
>> outside the apartment's walls?
>> Then, Blake and I discussed Glynn's weird thoughts.  Blake suggests Glynn
>> tour the CCB.  I plan to explain the situation a bit clearer to
>> Glynn: Blind people must live near a bus or light rail, must have tactile
>> microwave buttons which hotels don't have, must have a labeled and marked
>> environment which a lot of hotels don't have, and more importantly, for
>> Blake, must have someone his mother trusts. She doesn't trust all males in
>> my building because she's never met them.  Kathy can't meet those people
>> because she is not apt to going to Denver.
>> Kathy is a worried mother who lost her other son to a murder suicide, which
>> I won't go into.  All I'll say is that it was the boy's sick girlfriend who
>> killed him.  Kathy now knows I would NEVER kill her son.
>> Why would I!
>> Of course, Glynn tries to put his Biblical commands in the way of
>> independence.  Where, I ask, does independence end and biblicality begin?
>> Where do my rights as a blind person end and the right of Christians begin?
>> Does Jesus know all this could take place?  He healed the blind, not taught
>> them skills.  I also graduated the CCB, so skills are important.  I can
>> travel, and from time to time, I take a bus downtown.  Not bad, you say,
>> but
>> with those resources, I can also get door to door transit via access a
>> ride.
>> Blake needs to be able to take advantage of that transit.  So it looks easy
>> to say and I conclude that Blake must stay here, but what do you guys think
>> of this!  What do you guys say would be a solution to the problem? We
>> understand that sex belongs in the context of marriage.  It is legitimate
>> to
>> think this way, and the bodies are from a fallen world, but I want a
>> forward
>> answer as to what we could do to solve the church and our problem?  What
>> should Blake and I say to Glynn about the sleeping arrangements if they are
>> brought up again? Should Glynn, the pastor, go on a tour of CCB and talk to
>> staff about their lives as blind professionals?  Do you think as a
>> Christian
>> who is blind that there need to be modifications made to a lifestyle where
>> cars are the norm?  Thanks in advance.
>> Beth
>>
>> --
>> Check out my Wordpress blog: denverqueen.wordpress.com or you can reach me
>> by skype at denverqueen0920
>>
>>
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-- 
Check out my Wordpress blog: denverqueen.wordpress.com or you can reach me by skype at denverqueen0920