[Faith-talk] Daily Thought for Wednesday, January 22, 2014

[Paul]

Well folks, I'm staying in today because of the slipperiness of walking on my front porch.  I've never seen it as treacherous out there, and I've lived here for over 40 years.  So, in order to prevent any accident, I'm staying put at least through today.

The article I wish to share with you now was written some years ago by Muriel Larson, a writer from South Carolina, and the title of her piece is "Heal a Relationship," rendered as follows:

"I guess all my life I longed for my dad's approval," Cheryl told me, "and I never felt I had it.  He never hugged or kissed me or told me he loved me.  Often I hoped for a word of commendation when I did something good, but I never received one."

Cheryl was in her 30's when she wrote a letter to her father telling him how she felt.  "What do I have to do to get your approval?" was the most important question she asked in the lengthy letter she prayerfully and lovingly composed.  After reading it over, she dropped it off at her parents' home.

About an hour later she heard the doorbell chime in her apartment.  When she went to answer, she found her father standing there.  For the first time in his life he hugged his daughter tightly and kissed her.  "I do love you, honey," he said shakily.  "I really do love you!"

For 10 minutes father and daughter could only weep.  "That was the first time I ever saw my dad cry," Cheryl said, "the first time he had ever hugged or kissed me or told me he loved me.  You can't imagine the joy that flooded my heart that day!" According to Cheryl, that was the beginning of a new life, not only for her and her father but also for her entire family.

How many parents and children are estranged because they don't understand one another? Unfortunately, many people seem unable to express their feelings and may be misunderstood by those closest to them.  In some cases, an artificial barrier may be erected and stand between family members for years.  Although Cheryl lived in the same city as her parents, she couldn't bring herself to talk directly to her dad about their differences.  A letter did what she couldn't seem to do in person.

At least three types of people may be reading this article:  those who, like Cheryl, have longed for the love and approval of some family member; those who are estranged in some way from a loved one; and those who, for some reason, cannot adequately show their love and affection.  If you're one of these people, here are some tips on writing a reconciliation letter.

_Pray _first.  When we have been hurting for years because of a seemingly estranged relationship, it's easy to get bogged down in self-pity.  We definitely need the Lord's guidance in writing a letter like this.  Pray that the Lord will lay on your heart just what you should and shouldn't write.  Pray also for the one to whom you write that the Lord will work in his or her heart and will use that letter for God's purpose and glory.

_Write _with _care.  You're going to have to be explicit about some things, perhaps mentioning particular areas of estrangement or misunderstanding.  Whatever is written must be done in a spirit of love and humility, along with a willingness to confess where you may have erred.  Remember that you're expressing sorrow for a rift and asking forgiveness for anything for anything you might have said or done that contributed to the breach.

_Wait.  After you write the letter, put it aside for a night and read it over the next day.  If anything you have written troubles you, consider what you really want to include.  Remember, you don't want to hurt, you want to heal.  Mail your letter only after prayerful consideration of its message.

Just as Cheryl's letter opened doors to love, freedom of expression, and closer relationships to loved ones and to God, you may accomplish the same thing in your family by writing a letter.  Here's hoping.

And there you have Muriel's article for today.  If you yourself are going through a similar situation as Cheryl did, I hope that it ministered to you today.

And now may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob just keep us safe, individually and collectively, in these last days in which we live.  Lord willing, tomorrow there will be another Daily Thought message for you.  Your Christian friend and brother, Paul