[Faith-talk] Daily Thought for Wednesday, May 21, 2014

[Paul via Faith-talk]

Hello and good day to you all.  I hope that the weather is as pleasant in your part of the country as it is here in Baltimore and the greater mid-Atlantic region of the U.S.

Without going into detail here, my part in the research study went very well, though with a few glitches here and there on my part.  Again, if any of you would want more details, just let me know privately and I'll provide such, as several lists that receive these posts are not in themselves germane to what I have to say.  Thanks for your prayers; I could feel them, even if you didn't post that you were praying.

Does the name of Narramore ring a bell with some of you? Well, Dr. Clyde Narramore of Rosemead CA was a prolific writer and broadcaster back in, I know, the 1960's as was his wife Ruth.  In fact here's an article written by Ruth, taken from their magazine "Psychology for Living," entitled "Do Your Children Belong?", rendered as follows:

As never before, children are running away from home--escaping what?

Law enforcement agencies state that, without exception, the young escapees they pick up are convinced that they do not belong; they feel that they "don't fit in anywhere."

Children who feel that they are "rejected" usually resort to undesirable behavior in order to gain recognition or to get even.  When a youngster feels shut out from his family or other legitimate circles, he often turns to "bad companions" because he finds status and acceptance there.

As Christian parents, we have a special responsibility.  A child does not belong simply because he is born into a family, shares a surname, or lives under the same roof as his parents.  Belonging is an attitude, an emotional climate, and a way of life.  It is possible for children in "good Christian families" to feel that they are not accepted--that they do not actually belong.

The ways of helping children feel that they belong are sometimes subtle.  Thoughtful parents are alert to the things they should avoid:

(1) UNDUE OR CONTINUAL CRITICISM.  This is one of the most effective ways of making a child feel that he does not belong.  Criticism tells him, "We don't like the way you do things, and we would be happier if you weren't around."

(2) UNFAVORABLE COMPARISONS.  We seldom solve children's problems by comparing one child unfavorably with another.  Unfavorable comparisons cause children to dislike the one with whom they are compared; they cause them to resent you, and they make youngsters dislike the place where it occurred.

(3) UNSUITABLE TASKS.  When children are given jobs which they do not understand or which are too difficult, they become embarrassed, confused, and resentful.

(4) THOUGHTLESS TEASING OR EMBARRASSMENT.  Whether the remark is about clothing, mannerism, speech, grades, appearance, accomplishments, friends, or ideals, the results are much the same.  A person feels, "I don't suit them.  I just don't fit in here."

(5) TAKING A PERSON FOR GRANTED.  Failure to recognize a child's contributions and accomplishments makes him feel that you do not appreciate him and that you are not interested in him.

So much for the DONT'S.  The sensitive parent will emphasize and practice the Do's, which support a child's feeling of belonging.

(1) PLANNING TOGETHER.  It is important that children share in family plans and arrangements.  When they have a voice in family policies and projects, children are much more willing to cooperate because they are personally involved in them.

(2) WORKING TOGETHER.  As children learn to share in the responsibilities of the family and home, they realize that they are an important part of it.

(3) TALKING TOGETHER.  Respect his opinion.  Ask him for his suggestions.  Even if a child is wrong, he still needs to tell how he feels.

(4) PLAYING TOGETHER.  Children, young or old, like to have fun with their parents.  One little boy put it well when I asked him if his father loved him.  "Yes," he replied.  "I know because he plays with me."

(5) PRAYING TOGETHER.  The old saying, "The family that prays together, stays together," may be commonplace and worn, but it is nonetheless true.  There is nothing that ties a family more closely together than to be bound in the fellowship of prayer and devotion to the Lord.

And there you have some wise advice from Dr. Clyde Narramore's wife, Ruth.  As I remember his radio program, he had a very kind and gentle voice, the kind you don't forget easily.  Wonder if, in your locale, they rebroadcast some his "Psychology for Living" programs, sponsored by his Narramore Christian Foundation?

And now may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob just keep us safe, individually and collectively, in these last days in which we live.  Lord willing, tomorrow there will be yet another Daily Thought message for you.  Remember, if you'd like a fuller report on this brain research study that I took part in at Johns Hopkins Hospital's Kennedy-Krieger Institute, please email me privately at oilofgladness47 at gmail.com.  Your Christian friend and brother, Paul