[Faith-talk] confronting someone who hurt you-smart move?

[Brandon A. Olivares]

I think it depends on your motive. I don’t think you should try to make him feel guilty. Forgiveness is best. If you really have to do it to have peace, then go ahead. But realize it is more about you than it is about him. It won’t fix anything.

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Peace,
Brandon

Awaken To Silence <http://www.awakentosilence.org/>: Awaken To The Silence That Has Always Been Within You

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> On Apr 2, 2015, at 1:11 AM, Vejas Vasiliauskas via Faith-talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi All,
> So as the title implies I was wondering about your thoughts on confronting someone who hurt you to get some closure.  I understand that this does not have to do with God directly but I feel that it does in a way.
> A bit of background without getting too far into detail: I had a 1 on 1 for school for 5 years starting in sixth grade, and for the first three years everything was fine and he was almost like another member of the family.  Then he seemed to change and would get mad at me for getting lost (I'm working on my O and M) and would sometimes swear too.  But I talked to my parents and no longer have had to work with him and barely ever see him.  But because it was just verbal, nobody could prove anything, so only a very select few people, including my parents and God, know or care.  Everyone else seems to think that he is wonderful.
> I have not had a full-on conversation with him in two years.  As silly as it sounds, I don't like the fact that someone who thought of me very highly can just ignore me and feel okay about it.  There are things I want to tell him too.  Like how he may not have realized it, that he was such a jerk, and that I still sometimes have bad dreams about him.  I know that he may not care and probably won't apologize, but part of me thinks that if there is anything like a sliver of how he used to be, he would be horrified to know the after-effects of what he did to me.  And part of me hopes that maybe he'll feel a little bit guilty, even if just in his head.  I guess I'd also rather have some sort of closure, even if he said "I will continue to stand by what I did" rather than just  walking past each other and pretending that we neither know nor care who each other is.
> I would be greatful for any thoughts on whether or not you think I should confriendnnt him.
> Thank you in advance.
> Vejas
> 
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