[Faith-talk] {Spam?} Division?

Mon Sep 5 15:04:02 UTC 2016

Justin and Sarah I also agree with you 1000000%. I'm going through that and worst now in my church.

People say hi but don't invite me to lunch ins or positions to join and help in different departments. They always ask for help on the video announcements but every time I sign up or ask about the job no one wants me or doesn't answer back. Justin it is even worst when you have been out for a few months and no one calls. I mean "NO ONE!!!!" Even the perfect acting pastor or saintly like members. No one ask are you okay, no one ask do you need help and no one ask to pray for you. I thought the pastor was supposed to be the head and the example to teach the members how to treat others. My mom and I got in to a slight argument about this. This morning and every day she talks about church. She says that I'm neditive but she can't see that I'm hurt and ostracize because of my disability. In my home and in the community. Linda the NFB won't be able to help me. All my pastor and everyone else will tell me is if you're hot happy then leave. Also he will resent me for doing that to him. No one cares about my struggles or difficulties. I'm invisible  and not loved in that church because I'm blind. People say that they love me but "Talk is cheap" and "lips lie" All I am is another pay check to him. My pastor loves this young man who's in a wheel chair because he went up front and ask to be heeled publicly. He can stand and sometimes when he does everyone goes crazy. Like he's the most important person in that church. When he does that, He takes the focus off of God and puts it on himself. Many people including my own family told me I'm still blind because I don't believe. If I would just believe that God could heel me then I could see. They say the man in the weel chair believed so he is better than me and some people told me God loves him more because of that. I'm tired of going from church to church and wanting to be excepted for me and not for how I look or how someone can use me for there own personal gane. I'm just another face in the crowd. It hurts so much I'm getting turned off of any church or people in them. But not God, I'm not crazy! It was so bad I had to wait 2 years before I could even be aloud to become a member and had to go to class instead of being handed my membership and graduate with the rest of the class. When I walked down to join my pastor and everyone else staired at me funny and wondered what was I doing? He acted like he didn't want me to join, I know he didn't. I know he just wanted me to leave like everyone else. I have been a devoted person to that church even if they hate me. And I still am. My mom said I stood out more this way and people looked at me strange. People always staired at me because my left eye is a different color than my right so add in sitting through classes early morning before church in between services were there's no were to park too. And even worst try being in orientation and the teacher ask you what do you like to do? You tell her you like to listen to music videos on YouTube and look up accessible devices for the blind. And she says: "well don't look up any porn, because you know your kind does that unknowingly" Tell me how that makes you feel? How do you feel when she says that in front of the whole class and doesn't ask you first but just assumes.

I'm sorry if this is a little long but that's what I'm going through with my church and the ignorant people in it. Oh, now my church has turned in to a revolving door, all of the origanial members are leaving and all of the new members are coming in. The origanial members did more and the new members don't want to do anything but be intertained and have a good time.
There was one other visually impaired person working in the church but like my pastor does with everyone, told her he didn't want or need her any more. He uses you until he gets tired of you. The Bill Wither's song is true for my church and pastor. "you use me, until you use me up" My pastor burns everyone out. He will fire you or they will just leave on there own turms. Then he asks why are people leaving? Can't he see it's him and not everyone else. He doesn't appreachate anyone. If you say "NO!" and You are working for him you will be fired before the end of the day. He only want "YES!" people who are afrade of him or who need a job badly. He is negative, predgish and cold and he wants people like him. Not everyone is like that but they are far and flew. I think he is threttened by my disability and don't want someone like me any were around him or his church. Every now and then he will be nice but that's becoming less and less. He seeded in to me once when I didn't ask for it but now he locks himself up in his office and people around him so you can't ask for help. The other minastors are being aloof too. So my point is what happened to church? In biblicual time he loved people and now churches and people don't want to have any thing with you exspecially if you have a disability. They treat you like you have the plague or something like that.

Thank you for your time, just my views on how my church treats me.

Naima

-----Original Message-----
From: Faith-Talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Justin Williams via Faith-Talk
Sent: Monday, September 05, 2016 9:17 AM
To: 'Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion'
Cc: Justin Williams
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] {Spam?} Division?

Sarah, I agree with you 100 percent.  I've left churches because of that.
There is not a good way to describe that to folks who are sighted, and I really don't want to beg to go to lunch every day, so I just quit going until I got hooked up with Uber.  
I just couldn't get myself pumped enoughto do that.
 Also, I had a 5000 member church, one with an actualy elevator in the church, an elevator need I say it again, tell me that they couldn't sen dsomeone to pick my up on Sundays.  The cab ride would have been astronomically expensive just to get there, and of course, doubled, on the way back.  But the lunch thing, as well  as attempting to be an actual member of social activities in the church is really depressing.  I've had the same church members talking about how a group of them got together. Now, I don't expect everyone to call everytime, but I do expect to find my way to become a part of a group of people somehow who do call more often times than not.
If it did happen, it was for the very brief honeymoon time at the beginning which cam sometimes occur. 
I've been in and out of many churches; this was a pattern that nearly always repeated itself, but I learned to just leave before I could get really disappointed.  

 Justin

-----Original Message-----
From: Faith-Talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Sarah Blake LaRose via Faith-Talk
Sent: Monday, September 5, 2016 6:31 AM
To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Sarah Blake LaRose <sarah at sarahblakelarose.com>
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] {Spam?} Division?

Linda, my point is that sometimes the solution a person wants isn't for the NFB to contact their church leaders but for their to be a place where it is good to build skills and understanding for how to self-advocate in the faith community. I encounter many people who don't know, for instance, how to have good discussions about working in the nursery. I was among them for a long time.

It has always been easy for me to have discussions among church groups about Bible questions. It is not easy to have discussions about the social issues associated with church. We lose a lot of people because of these things, and I think it is an important thing to talk about--not only in the blind community but in the church. I am trying to find the right words because I observe that it annoys sighted people when I bring up the fact that blind people leave the church because they feel isolated. The sighted people's response it typically, "Well, all they have to do is call and ask for a ride." It's hard to explain how it feels when you hear people making plans to go to lunch and you are not among any of the groups, but someone offers to drop you off at home. This is one of the most common reasons why I find people leaving the church. I think it would take more than NFB advocacy to bring about change in the face of this. This is the kind of thing that I have personally encountered throughout most of my life. I chose to stay anyway, and sometimes to be vulnerable with the community about what was going on. It usually didn't work. Most people cannot distinguish well between the types of silly conversations they have with me, e.g. "You're teaching Hebrew? I couldn't teach English and I'm sighted" and the respectful exchanges they have with each other that result in ongoing relationships. I have taken other people to church with me, but they don’tdon't have the fortitude to stick around in that kind of environment. I don't blame them. This is what they cope with all day every day. Why shouldn't the church be a different place?

Sarah Blake LaRose, M.Div., accessible instruction in biblical languages Personal mail: sarah at sarahblakelarose.com http://www.sarahblakelarose.com Info for seminaries and faith communities: http://www.night-light.org -----Original Message-----
From: Linda Mentink via Faith-Talk
Sent: Sunday, September 04, 2016 11:40 PM
To: Faith-talk
Cc: Linda Mentink
Subject: [Faith-talk] {Spam?} Division?

Hi Sarah,

I have tried to explain the purposes of the NFB's Communities of Faith division.  What is it that you're not clear about? I guess I'm frustrated because I don't know what you want to know, and I have done my best to give a brief overview.

Of course there are still issues of blind people not being welcome or getting the materials they need.  We can't help those we don't know about.  We can't advocate for what we don't know about.  We can't contact your church leaders if we don't know there's a problem.  Um, that's what we're here for!

Blessings,

Linda

_______________________________________________
Faith-Talk mailing list
Faith-Talk at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Faith-Talk:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/sarah%40sarahblakelarose.com 

_______________________________________________
Faith-Talk mailing list
Faith-Talk at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for Faith-Talk:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/justin.williams2%40gmail.com

_______________________________________________
Faith-Talk mailing list
Faith-Talk at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for Faith-Talk:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/nleigh2016%40gmail.com