[Faith-talk] {Spam?} Division?

[Sarah Blake LaRose]

Ericka, this is very true. In many churches the situation is complex--there 
are ways that access is good and ways that it needs improvement. My current 
church is a good example of this, and that is also why I stay in spite of 
the social difficulties and other things I am disappointed about. There are 
some very nice people who are willing to type lyrics to new choir pieces for 
me, and I have built up a file of music over the last few years so that I 
can pull the pieces for the year when I get the list from the choir 
director. Once in a while we do something classical and I am able to find it 
on BARD and use the braille music. I really enjoy this and wish I could get 
braille music more often. I asked about having Goodfeel purchased, but it 
was cost prohibitive and I do understand this--it was more than the annual 
budget for the whole music program.

We have people with other disabilities who attend the church and several 
have had very positive experiences. The youth group seems to be doing very 
well with inclusion, especially with teens with autism and other 
disabilities. I would like to see them have better experiences transitioning 
to adulthood, but I think it is a hard thing for adults to make the leap. 
You are right that if a person had a stroke the inclusion would happen more 
readily. I have seen this work. It is easier to send someone to a special 
class that we never developed a relationship with...

Often the access road with church has been about making choices in 
priorities. I will never find a church that has everything, but I can 
probably find one that has some things that I need. Sometimes I have picked 
a church that has a different theolgoy from what I am used to in order to 
get to a better place in terms of access. Sometimes I have sacrificed one 
access need for another.

My parents and I live in the same town. We attended church together for 
about nine years. I was in my mid-twenties when we started attending the 
church, and my parents gave me rides. For us, it was not a negative thing. I 
lived with them for a short while as I was getting on my feet after a 
divorce, and eventually I moved into an apartment. It was amazing to us that 
people assumed not only that I lived with them but that they were my 
care-takers. They didn't raise me to have care-takers, and I attended public 
school. But we had a very hard time overcoming this and eventually I decided 
that perhaps part of my social problem was the fact that I was attending the 
same church as my parents. I was really annoyed about it--other people 
attend the same church as their parents and even enjoy sitting together, and 
I thought I should be able to have the same healthy experience.

I changed churches and found that about three quarters of the people still 
think II have care-takers, even though they have never met my parents. My 
parents have made a conscious choice not to attend the same church with me, 
though occasionally they will now attend a special event. Since I'm not 
going to dodge the care-taker stereotype, I'll enjoy my parents' company 
once in a while.





Sarah Blake LaRose, M.Div., accessible instruction in biblical languages
Personal mail: sarah at sarahblakelarose.com
http://www.sarahblakelarose.com
Info for seminaries and faith communities: http://www.night-light.org
-----Original Message----- 
From: Ericka via Faith-Talk
Sent: Monday, September 05, 2016 2:27 PM
To: Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion
Cc: Ericka
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] {Spam?} Division?

You said it very well Sarah! I too have stuck around but I see so many who 
are not treated well. It's not just us, we had a family leave my old church 
because nobody wanted to understand autism. Their son is autistic and all 
they thought he was was a brat. They tried to give them parenting advice and 
they just didn't understand even when they explain everything in a 
congregational meeting to the church members. I was so sad to see them go. 
Another family left because of how people treated their wheelchair-bound 
somewhat communicatie son. We all know that if this little boy was an older 
man with the stroke everyone would've been talking to him and try to find a 
way for him to be participatory. Instead, Sunday school teachers and 
everyone else didn't want to deal with him. As soon as the older brother was 
confirmed they left the church and never came back. Very sad day. There's no 
reason that Parents had to be with that child in Sunday school. There were 
only a few of us in the church willing to try to communicate. One was a 
Sunday school teacher thankfully. But that was just one year. They were gone 
by the time he was in fourth grade.

Ericka Short
1750 Fordem Ave. #508
Madison. WI. 53704
608-665-3170

from my iPhone 6s

> On Sep 5, 2016, at 5:31 AM, Sarah Blake LaRose via Faith-Talk 
> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> Linda, my point is that sometimes the solution a person wants isn't for 
> the NFB to contact their church leaders but for their to be a place where 
> it is good to build skills and understanding for how to self-advocate in 
> the faith community. I encounter many people who don't know, for instance, 
> how to have good discussions about working in the nursery. I was among 
> them for a long time.
>
> It has always been easy for me to have discussions among church groups 
> about Bible questions. It is not easy to have discussions about the social 
> issues associated with church. We lose a lot of people because of these 
> things, and I think it is an important thing to talk about--not only in 
> the blind community but in the church. I am trying to find the right words 
> because I observe that it annoys sighted people when I bring up the fact 
> that blind people leave the church because they feel isolated. The sighted 
> people's response it typically, "Well, all they have to do is call and ask 
> for a ride." It's hard to explain how it feels when you hear people making 
> plans to go to lunch and you are not among any of the groups, but someone 
> offers to drop you off at home. This is one of the most common reasons why 
> I find people leaving the church. I think it would take more than NFB 
> advocacy to bring about change in the face of this. This is the kind of 
> thing that I have personally encountered throughout most of my life. I 
> chose to stay anyway, and sometimes to be vulnerable with the community 
> about what was going on. It usually didn't work. Most people cannot 
> distinguish well between the types of silly conversations they have with 
> me, e.g. "You're teaching Hebrew? I couldn't teach English and I'm 
> sighted" and the respectful exchanges they have with each other that 
> result in ongoing relationships. I have taken other people to church with 
> me, but they don’tdon't have the fortitude to stick around in that kind of 
> environment. I don't blame them. This is what they cope with all day every 
> day. Why shouldn't the church be a different place?
>
>
>
> Sarah Blake LaRose, M.Div., accessible instruction in biblical languages
> Personal mail: sarah at sarahblakelarose.com
> http://www.sarahblakelarose.com
> Info for seminaries and faith communities: http://www.night-light.org
> -----Original Message----- From: Linda Mentink via Faith-Talk
> Sent: Sunday, September 04, 2016 11:40 PM
> To: Faith-talk
> Cc: Linda Mentink
> Subject: [Faith-talk] {Spam?} Division?
>
> Hi Sarah,
>
> I have tried to explain the purposes of the NFB's Communities of
> Faith division.  What is it that you're not clear about? I guess
> I'm frustrated because I don't know what you want to know, and I
> have done my best to give a brief overview.
>
> Of course there are still issues of blind people not being
> welcome or getting the materials they need.  We can't help those
> we don't know about.  We can't advocate for what we don't know
> about.  We can't contact your church leaders if we don't know
> there's a problem.  Um, that's what we're here for!
>
> Blessings,
>
> Linda
>
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