[Faith-talk] welcome back!

Tue Jun 13 01:08:34 UTC 2017

Oh yeah, I'm sort of the same way.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about female minister's. Sometimes, that's all you have if you want to go to an inclusive situation that's not rock party you at USA.

Anyhow, I have to make that decision. I did listen to the Lutheran congregation I would be going to if I went and it was actually a lot less shocking than I thought it would be.

It's like elevator music compared to what I saw last Sunday. It was still contemporary. But I didn't hear any electric guitars. I think I heard a piano and a drums very lightly and Ashley. There might be a guitarist and I think there is, but he may not have been there that week. Anyhow, still wrestling with that fact. Again, it's just a little difficult with the female pastor thing. Just something I'm struggling with. It's not biblical, but do I have the right to pass judgment? Yes and no, I want to belong to a church group Association, family that believes in the Bible not just what it cut and paste. Or twisted around to what they think is OK. So, I'm still dealing with that.

The pastor here is mail. I did hear that. And I will probably call him tomorrow.

When I spoke to a woman who is relieving the secretary today, she was elderly, but quite funny and sweet. I explained to her that I was blind and when I asked April about the real Hendle, she said oh I'm sorry we do stuff that's on the screen. She said I don't know how to fix it, where you can be a part of it.  She was kind of flustered, but not in a bad way, more frustrated that she couldn't be more helpful. She didn't know where to find a way to braille it. So, I said for the time being. If I decide to come here for a visit. They could just email me the service part. That have to do with the service itself. And I could do things from there. So, that might be a happy medium for the time being.

I have to say though, when I came back to religion. At 17 sort of because I was trying to keep a boyfriend. Not because I wanted to be there. I had a great pastor and he was at another sect of the church, but, here, there's only one sect of that church and as I said before 
So, I listened to the service which actually I wasn't expecting to be able to hear one. And I at  least got to hear how things went. I have to talk to him though because I just want to make sure some of the believes that I had them correctly and not misunderstood. I called, and elderly woman answer the phone. She was relieving the secretary for lunch. We talked about the church and how things were done and she was both funny and sweet. When I mention that I was blind she said oh you would be going to the contemporary service because that's when the van service comes. I said OK, there is no him know? She thought about it and said no, everything is on the screen or in the bulletin. Actually, she said on the bulletin, I'm just so used to being having everything on the screen, and I don't want to spend 20 minutes trying to edit something that I end up screwing up and having to start over :-) 

We actually laughed about the intention for communion. Which if nobody knows, that's when you take the waiver dip it into the wine and eat it. Which, seems like a really good idea. Until you can't see and you're trying to do it. I was telling her that either I didn't get the wafer in the wind altogether, or, I would get it in but my finger would end up touching the wine. Which, she laughed and said that she did the same thing. That even though she could see, she still does stuff like that. I had told her I didn't think people wanted fingers in your wine but she laughed and said no people would understand and people do it 

I missed the rituals such as Orthodox: catholic: etc. And when I started going back to church after my mother beating the crap out of me and me almost losing half my hearing. I had been given up on God. Like I said though, to get with a boy I had to go to church. And it happened to be Lutheran. I had never seen anything like that. I mean nothing. I came from a very staunch Baptist background where just saying if you just set down the preacher preached I got up sing one and you were done so there was no interaction between the preacher and the people. Maybe good morning and the people would say good morning. That's about it. The first service I had gone to in the Lutheran Church I was very, very, very confused, and was very angry at God still. And basically went through the motions of the service just to placate my boyfriend. 

The pastor at the church was so wonderful. He asked me how I liked my first Lutheran church service. I informed him, that all Christians were idiotic sheep who couldn't think for themselves. Which he kind of laughed and after everybody had left he came to me and asked me why I felt that way 

And being angry 17-year-old that I was, still, after a couple years after the last fight. Physical. I told him. He asked me questions like if you hadn't had to eat Ramen noodles for a year, would you enjoy a real solid meal? I answered no, he said well if you didn't have a nice roof over your head and feeling safe, would you appreciate it like you do now? And of course, I said no and the wall start started to come down then he said something that I had never thought of, and still have to remind myself up every now and again when I forget. That we don't always understand God's way, he doesn't punish us intentionally, he's not out to hurt us. Or enjoy doing so, or enjoy watching it. But, he did say, so anyway, having a hard time editing, but, he he asked me a question that I had to think about for a second. Maybe, so you have to go through hell, maybe that was you dealing with learning how to find the good things and something so small.

Such as food, safety, friends and the people that you love. Also saying that God did not condone what happened with my mom, God wasn't happy about it. But, God made it make a purpose. Things don't happen to us for no reason. Either we screwup, they screw up, or Satan, or both. So, it made me a soda feel better and after a while I came back because I wanted to. 

After listening to the service it kind of reminds me of the middle of the road, a little bit Protestant. A little bit Catholic rituals, but something I'm comfortable with. It was like going back home. To that church I am I mean.

Pastor Kate hasn't been a pastor for very very long time, but I respect him so much, more than I've ever respected a man in my life at almost 60 at the time, he adopted a little boy and when he's asked me if I wanted to touch him, he told me to reach out and touch him. He was holding this little baby in his arms. When I touched his head I didn't quite know what to do. His goal had been crushed because somebody kicked him as a newborn. The baby would never see, walk, talk had to be fed with a tube. It sounded like hell on earth. But Pastor K and his wife adopted him anyway knowing all that. He love that boy and I did too. We couldn't really spend a whole lot of time together because of Pastor schedule. But, can you imagine knowing that situation and knowing what it would take to deal with it, someone still wanting to adopt such Poor child, who would take so much energy to raise. Hospitalizations, more money, etc. But they did it anyway. And I try to make his life as happy as possible. They would play music which he loved, and that made him happy, they would sing to him really happy songs and that made him happy. They tried to find anything and everything in his world that can stimulate him and make him happy. 

Kenneth has passed on long before. But, it still makes me weep to think about my situation which was nothing compared to his, but he's in heaven now. And has the life that he never did on her. Maybe for a month. Which of course, he doesn't remember. At that point I really thought and I still think, when I'm really angry, hurt, upset about something unfair in my life. Health reasons, whatever. I sometimes try to think about tennis. That he had a very hard life, that was not inflicted by him. And he was trapped in a body that didn't work well for him at all. But they try to make him happy. We all dead. And he could be so happy even though we wondered if he hurt or whatever he was feeling inside, though he couldn't express it.

I think no matter what faith years, Pastor K should be canonized. If there ever was a saint on this earth, it would be him and his wife. I guess the point is, that I remembered the beginning of my Lutheran life. My Christian life again. And when I heard that service, though it wasn't as traditional as Pastor case, it reminded me that it was OK to express my love for Christ. But it was also OK to need a family and a church that feeds us and that we are comfortable with. 

Again, I hope that I really have time to speak to the Pastor tomorrow. I want to know something like, did they condone homosexual marriage. Or homosexual activity at all. That's something that's kind of more important to me that they don't condone it then a female being Pastor. But, say some prayers and I have to plug my phone in before dies.

Jenny

> On Jun 12, 2017, at 5:20 PM, Sandra Streeter via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Welcome back, Jenny—we missed you, and I’m glad you found your way back!\
> \
> We had a new organist yesterday who is soon to start on a trial basis with us for six months, but I really enjoyed her—she brought a lot of life to the songs. I will miss our previous music dir., who recently moved, because she, too, was a real asset—kicked me out of the nest re doing solos; before her, I could count on one hand the amount of solos I had done from my teens; now, I have to use two hands! But judging from the new one’s work yesterday, I expect good things. Still not in love with a lot of the northern Methodist doctrines, but until I’m booted out of there by God and He shows me where next to go, I will stand by on prayer duty, for (particularly northern) Methodism to come back to its roots, since that’s one reason I feel I was led to my current church. As I’ve said before, with ever more church experience under my belt, I find that I am very, very hard to fit, and it’' gets harder the more I refine my theology and choice of style of worship!
> 
> 
> Sandra
> 
> Not “Revelation” – tis – that waits
> But our unfurnished eyes –
> (Emily Dickinson)
> 
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