[Faith-talk] Relationship issues

Sun May 14 21:27:57 UTC 2017

How is your wife doing? When is the baby due? Wishing you again the best.

Ericka Short from my iPhone 6+

> On May 14, 2017, at 12:03 AM, mr. Chikodinaka Nickarandidum Oguledo via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> pray for me and Adonnih the preggnet lady my wife
> 
>> On 5/11/17, David Moore via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> Hi all,
>> David Moore here. I must tell you how Jesus Christ brought me to Traci my
>> wife. I was born with enough sight to ride a bike, see colors, and to read
>> very large print. I have had light perception since I was 15. I am now 51.
>> At 21, I had a 9-month serious relationship with a totally blind girl. I
>> realize we were totally wrong for each other, because she had blind
>> Christian faith, where I was really searching and had not yet become a
>> Christian. I studied the Bible and knew it well, but I still had questions,
>> and Lin expected me to just believe it because the Bible says so, so we
>> parted ways. I was friends with a lot, of mostly sighted women. Many of
>> these women thought I was too good for them to date. They would say
>> something like you’re a nice teddy bear, and I do not want to ruin our
>> friendship. You are like a sweet brother and friend, they would say. They
>> always complained to me about their abusive boyfriends. I would say to them
>> that they should try one date with me, and there would be no strings
>> attached. They would not go for it. All these women friends did was to
>> complain about their boyfriends to me LOL! My second relationship was
>> between the time I was 26 and 28. We talked about marriage. She was sighted.
>> Her mom would tell Mindy all the time that I could not provide for her and
>> all of that. Her mom would barely talk to me, and she told Mindy to break up
>> with me all the time, just because I was blind. Her mom would not even give
>> me a chance. She started coming around a little bit, but I started getting
>> tired of Mindy being so dependent on her parents. She was 30 at the time,
>> and she went and cried to her mom and Dad everytime we had an argument. She
>> had been so sheltered in a Christian home, and she had not experienced the
>> world like I had. Before I became a Christian, I got wasted in college,
>> partied, and was very rebellious against my parents. Mindy had not gone
>> through any of that. We had totally different childhoods, and we grew apart.
>> I never married her; and if I had, we would had divorced, I just know it. I
>> told myself as a teenager that I would date someone for four years before
>> getting married, because of my mom and dad’s marriage. Mom said that she had
>> hated dad for years, and never wanted to see his face. Mom talked to me
>> about her hate for dad, and said she would kill herself. She threatened to
>> kill herself a lot, and said it was because she got married. Mom told all
>> three of us boys to never get married, because we would havehell on earth
>> like she did. She told all of us to just shack up with a woman and never get
>> married. I knew that was not right, because a neighbor began taking me to
>> church when I was 15. I knew that something was different after a few times
>> of going to church, and I knew there had to be a god to create all that is
>> and on and on. Well, back to Mindy. I broke up with her, because our
>> childhoods had been so different, and she ran to mom and dad over anything.
>> So, I had broken up with two women by then who I had talked about marriage
>> with. I knew these were not the women the Lord wanted me to have as a wife.
>> I was not even a Christian yet. I had a third relationship, but it was not
>> right either. Then, I met my wife Traci. I became a Christian shortly after
>> we started dating. Listen to how we met. I was with a sighted friend, and he
>> wanted to finish his coffee while we were at the bus stop. We let two busses
>> pass by, and we boarded the third bus. Traci lived at the other end of town
>> than I. Her car had broken down, and she happened to be on that bus. Now,
>> she had heard me on the radio. I played a Bible Trivia show every Thursday
>> night at 1:30 in the morning. One night, Traci turned on the radio and
>> flipped the dial looking for something to listen to. She ran across this
>> Bible show that I called in to play on, and she heard my voice on the radio
>> and thought I was very spiritual and full of joy. She kept listening to the
>> show every week, and then there I was on that bus that day. Her car had
>> broken down, and she was at my end of town. She heard my voice as I talked
>> to my friend, and she knew it was the guy she listened to on the radio every
>> week. I really felt the Lord had told me, even before becoming a Christian,
>> that I should wait until after marriage to have sex, because it would be so
>> good if I waited, and that was the right think to do. I had gone to church
>> since I was 15 as well. So, I met Traci on that bus, and I gave her my phone
>> number, because her phone had not been put in yet. She had just moved. She
>> called me back three days later, and we talked for nine hours. It was like
>> we had known each other for our entire lives. Guess what? My blindness never
>> came up in that entire conversation. Traci is totally sighted, and my
>> blindness is nothing to her. She had a bad childhood like I did, Became a
>> Christian after much rebellion, and she was very independent and determined
>> to assert herself. LOL! This quality had been missing in all of the other
>> Christian girls I dated. They had all been sheltered in church their entire
>> lives, and new nothing about the world, or different kinds of people outside
>> their small circle. But Traci was totally different. She had been in the
>> mud, and had Called out to the Lord, and she had gone through a lot before
>> she got close to the Lord, just like me. Well, I finally became a Christian
>> after going to church for 18 years, at the age of 33. I had been in every
>> faith circle there is. I had studied everything. But Jesus finally showed me
>> that he is the only way, and Traci is the same. Both of us are so strong in
>> our faith, because the Lord has brought us through hell on earth, and we are
>> still fighting to this day. We have really gone through a lot since we met
>> in 1997. I could go on for days in this message, but I want to leave you
>> with a few thoughts. One:
>> I waited until I was 31 before I met Traci, and I was not looking for
>> anyone. I was happy with my life the way it was, and I had a lot of friends.
>> The number one goal in my life was not to get married. I would have waited
>> until I was 50 to meet the right woman to marry! I believe the person you
>> should marry should love God more than they love you. Also, a person needs
>> to love him or herself before they can love anyone else. A person needs to
>> be in total acceptance of their blindness. When I met Traci, she was totally
>> sighted, and she hardly talks about my blindness. I mean, it hardly comes up
>> until I need her help for something that I cannot see. We joke about my
>> blindness. I laugh with friends about being blind and how fun it is. Did you
>> hear that? I think being blind is exciting, because I can talk to many more
>> people about the Lord. Everyone wants to talk with me on the street, and I
>> take advantage of that, and talk to them about where real happiness comes
>> from. I tell them that it does not come from what the eyes can see. When
>> Traci and I are together, people tell us that we look so happy and full of
>> joy. We married in 2002, and we are coming up on 15 years of marriage.
>> Well, I better stop. I am sorry if I have written way too much here. Take
>> care, and have a great one.
>> David Moore
>> Sent from Mail for Windows 10
>> 
>> From: Kevin LaRose via Faith-Talk
>> Sent: Wednesday, May 10, 2017 9:15 PM
>> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
>> Cc: Kevin LaRose
>> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship issues
>> 
>> I absolutely agree that this is a topic that isn't discussed nearly enough
>> and needs to be discussed more. Having said that, I wonder if this is the
>> proper venue for such a discussion. While faith and relationship issues are
>> undeniably linked, topics such as this one have the potential to go
>> seriously off the rails. Sadly, I've seen it happen. That is up to the
>> discretion of the moderators, of course, but I will put in one nugget of
>> wisdom I've learned in my 52 plus years of life on this mortal coil.
>> Whatever you do, always be true to yourself. Once you change because that's
>> what you think the other person wants or needs you to, you've gone a long
>> way toward losing the battle. Again, I speak from hard experience here. Best
>> of luck to you.
>> 
>> Kevin LaRose
>> Anderson, IN
>> Email: kl1964 at icloud.com
>> 
>> On May 10, 2017, at 6:38 PM, Ericka via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>> 
>> Sorry for a long reply! Sometimes I think this will bring on more questions
>> then it will answer anything. Remember one of the fruits of the spirit of
>> patients so let's all work on this now…
>> 
>> Bill, you bring up an interesting topic of which I agree does not get
>> discussed too often. I guess perhaps people can share more testimonies of
>> how they found their sweethearts. Not everybody is married here and this is
>> probably a topic that should also be brought up in training centers during
>> seminar time or philosophy class as well as in conventions etc. As the faith
>> connection goes, most Churches teachings see family and marriage is
>> something very sacred and not just a right of passage. I wonder if there are
>> people out there who feel like they are outsiders just because they are not
>> able to seek out decent people and fullfill their Faith by adding to the
>> cloud of witnesses or however you want to state it. Personally I have no
>> love life advice! I was one of those lost souls that never dated but had guy
>> friends until almost 30. That didn't go so well and after 15 years of
>> marriage we parted respectfully. He had perfect vision if he wore his
>> glasses.  I met him through campus ministry. If it was not a long-distance
>> relationship we probably never would have dated so long or married.  I don't
>> know what the answer is to your great question Bill! Aside from your
>> concerns I think it may be a societal problem that we are stuck in the
>> middle of too. There's the Blind/sighted debate I will leave be.
>> 
>> I'm just very happy to have found the right one at 45 and he just happens to
>> be totally blind now. I say now because when I met him when we were
>> teenagers he had more visual than I did – 20/100 in the best eye. For me as
>> was stated, for a girl it's how you live out your faith, what's in your
>> heart, and how you treat others in your family that matters more than
>> anything else. How you treat family and others tells us how you're going to
>> treat us in the end.
>> 
>> Anyone else have some faithful thoughts? Perhaps some scripture?  I know
>> some church cultures kind of help people match each other up – that courting
>> concept. Has anybody in a church where that goes on then supported in
>> finding a helpmate? Is there any societal or spiritual rules anymore for
>> dating? Sometimes I wonder! My mother freaked me out or year or two ago by
>> saying she didn't care if I shacked up with someone as long as they treated
>> me right. Her take was that the federal laws didn't support us being married
>> and she wanted us to be able to pay the bills. She said lots of senior
>> citizens doing the same thing. I really don't like the concept of shacking
>> up, but God knows the nations rules too. How does one  honor faith, family,
>> & the call to be Partners with someone God has given you?
>> 
>> Ericka Short
>> 1750 Fordem Ave. #508
>> Madison. WI. 53704
>> 608-665-3170
>> 
>> from my iPhone 6+
>> 
>>> On May 10, 2017, at 12:12 PM, Bill Outman via Faith-Talk
>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Good day, folks.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> I know the list hasn't been very active of late but there is something I
>>> need to explore with all of you to see where it goes.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> I am concerned in general about the difficulties we face as blind and
>>> visually impaired people when it comes to seeking romance, how to go about
>>> it and how to know if a particular relationship is potentially viable, and
>>> the ground rules, if any exist, for behavior within such a potential
>>> relationship.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> I would appreciate your thoughts, experiences and prayers on this matter.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> It's something that has caused great frustration, as there seems to be
>>> sparse attention paid to this issue.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> By the way, if any of you ladies would like by any chance like to explore
>>> with me where something could go, please get back to me off list and we'll
>>> touch base.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Bill Outman
>>> 
>>> Daytona Beach, Florida
>>> 
>>> Email: woutman at earthlink.net
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> ---
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> 
> 
> -- 
> for if you persavear. you will conker never fear. try try try again
> 
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