[Faith-talk] Relationship issues

Sun May 14 05:03:14 UTC 2017

pray for me and Adonnih the preggnet lady my wife

On 5/11/17, David Moore via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hi all,
> David Moore here. I must tell you how Jesus Christ brought me to Traci my
> wife. I was born with enough sight to ride a bike, see colors, and to read
> very large print. I have had light perception since I was 15. I am now 51.
> At 21, I had a 9-month serious relationship with a totally blind girl. I
> realize we were totally wrong for each other, because she had blind
> Christian faith, where I was really searching and had not yet become a
> Christian. I studied the Bible and knew it well, but I still had questions,
> and Lin expected me to just believe it because the Bible says so, so we
> parted ways. I was friends with a lot, of mostly sighted women. Many of
> these women thought I was too good for them to date. They would say
> something like you’re a nice teddy bear, and I do not want to ruin our
> friendship. You are like a sweet brother and friend, they would say. They
> always complained to me about their abusive boyfriends. I would say to them
> that they should try one date with me, and there would be no strings
> attached. They would not go for it. All these women friends did was to
> complain about their boyfriends to me LOL! My second relationship was
> between the time I was 26 and 28. We talked about marriage. She was sighted.
> Her mom would tell Mindy all the time that I could not provide for her and
> all of that. Her mom would barely talk to me, and she told Mindy to break up
> with me all the time, just because I was blind. Her mom would not even give
> me a chance. She started coming around a little bit, but I started getting
> tired of Mindy being so dependent on her parents. She was 30 at the time,
> and she went and cried to her mom and Dad everytime we had an argument. She
> had been so sheltered in a Christian home, and she had not experienced the
> world like I had. Before I became a Christian, I got wasted in college,
> partied, and was very rebellious against my parents. Mindy had not gone
> through any of that. We had totally different childhoods, and we grew apart.
> I never married her; and if I had, we would had divorced, I just know it. I
> told myself as a teenager that I would date someone for four years before
> getting married, because of my mom and dad’s marriage. Mom said that she had
> hated dad for years, and never wanted to see his face. Mom talked to me
> about her hate for dad, and said she would kill herself. She threatened to
> kill herself a lot, and said it was because she got married. Mom told all
> three of us boys to never get married, because we would havehell on earth
> like she did. She told all of us to just shack up with a woman and never get
> married. I knew that was not right, because a neighbor began taking me to
> church when I was 15. I knew that something was different after a few times
> of going to church, and I knew there had to be a god to create all that is
> and on and on. Well, back to Mindy. I broke up with her, because our
> childhoods had been so different, and she ran to mom and dad over anything.
> So, I had broken up with two women by then who I had talked about marriage
> with. I knew these were not the women the Lord wanted me to have as a wife.
> I was not even a Christian yet. I had a third relationship, but it was not
> right either. Then, I met my wife Traci. I became a Christian shortly after
> we started dating. Listen to how we met. I was with a sighted friend, and he
> wanted to finish his coffee while we were at the bus stop. We let two busses
> pass by, and we boarded the third bus. Traci lived at the other end of town
> than I. Her car had broken down, and she happened to be on that bus. Now,
> she had heard me on the radio. I played a Bible Trivia show every Thursday
> night at 1:30 in the morning. One night, Traci turned on the radio and
> flipped the dial looking for something to listen to. She ran across this
> Bible show that I called in to play on, and she heard my voice on the radio
> and thought I was very spiritual and full of joy. She kept listening to the
> show every week, and then there I was on that bus that day. Her car had
> broken down, and she was at my end of town. She heard my voice as I talked
> to my friend, and she knew it was the guy she listened to on the radio every
> week. I really felt the Lord had told me, even before becoming a Christian,
> that I should wait until after marriage to have sex, because it would be so
> good if I waited, and that was the right think to do. I had gone to church
> since I was 15 as well. So, I met Traci on that bus, and I gave her my phone
> number, because her phone had not been put in yet. She had just moved. She
> called me back three days later, and we talked for nine hours. It was like
> we had known each other for our entire lives. Guess what? My blindness never
> came up in that entire conversation. Traci is totally sighted, and my
> blindness is nothing to her. She had a bad childhood like I did, Became a
> Christian after much rebellion, and she was very independent and determined
> to assert herself. LOL! This quality had been missing in all of the other
> Christian girls I dated. They had all been sheltered in church their entire
> lives, and new nothing about the world, or different kinds of people outside
> their small circle. But Traci was totally different. She had been in the
> mud, and had Called out to the Lord, and she had gone through a lot before
> she got close to the Lord, just like me. Well, I finally became a Christian
> after going to church for 18 years, at the age of 33. I had been in every
> faith circle there is. I had studied everything. But Jesus finally showed me
> that he is the only way, and Traci is the same. Both of us are so strong in
> our faith, because the Lord has brought us through hell on earth, and we are
> still fighting to this day. We have really gone through a lot since we met
> in 1997. I could go on for days in this message, but I want to leave you
> with a few thoughts. One:
> I waited until I was 31 before I met Traci, and I was not looking for
> anyone. I was happy with my life the way it was, and I had a lot of friends.
> The number one goal in my life was not to get married. I would have waited
> until I was 50 to meet the right woman to marry! I believe the person you
> should marry should love God more than they love you. Also, a person needs
> to love him or herself before they can love anyone else. A person needs to
> be in total acceptance of their blindness. When I met Traci, she was totally
> sighted, and she hardly talks about my blindness. I mean, it hardly comes up
> until I need her help for something that I cannot see. We joke about my
> blindness. I laugh with friends about being blind and how fun it is. Did you
> hear that? I think being blind is exciting, because I can talk to many more
> people about the Lord. Everyone wants to talk with me on the street, and I
> take advantage of that, and talk to them about where real happiness comes
> from. I tell them that it does not come from what the eyes can see. When
> Traci and I are together, people tell us that we look so happy and full of
> joy. We married in 2002, and we are coming up on 15 years of marriage.
> Well, I better stop. I am sorry if I have written way too much here. Take
> care, and have a great one.
> David Moore
> Sent from Mail for Windows 10
>
> From: Kevin LaRose via Faith-Talk
> Sent: Wednesday, May 10, 2017 9:15 PM
> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
> Cc: Kevin LaRose
> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship issues
>
> I absolutely agree that this is a topic that isn't discussed nearly enough
> and needs to be discussed more. Having said that, I wonder if this is the
> proper venue for such a discussion. While faith and relationship issues are
> undeniably linked, topics such as this one have the potential to go
> seriously off the rails. Sadly, I've seen it happen. That is up to the
> discretion of the moderators, of course, but I will put in one nugget of
> wisdom I've learned in my 52 plus years of life on this mortal coil.
> Whatever you do, always be true to yourself. Once you change because that's
> what you think the other person wants or needs you to, you've gone a long
> way toward losing the battle. Again, I speak from hard experience here. Best
> of luck to you.
>
> Kevin LaRose
> Anderson, IN
> Email: kl1964 at icloud.com
>
> On May 10, 2017, at 6:38 PM, Ericka via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
>
> Sorry for a long reply! Sometimes I think this will bring on more questions
> then it will answer anything. Remember one of the fruits of the spirit of
> patients so let's all work on this now…
>
> Bill, you bring up an interesting topic of which I agree does not get
> discussed too often. I guess perhaps people can share more testimonies of
> how they found their sweethearts. Not everybody is married here and this is
> probably a topic that should also be brought up in training centers during
> seminar time or philosophy class as well as in conventions etc. As the faith
> connection goes, most Churches teachings see family and marriage is
> something very sacred and not just a right of passage. I wonder if there are
> people out there who feel like they are outsiders just because they are not
> able to seek out decent people and fullfill their Faith by adding to the
> cloud of witnesses or however you want to state it. Personally I have no
> love life advice! I was one of those lost souls that never dated but had guy
> friends until almost 30. That didn't go so well and after 15 years of
> marriage we parted respectfully. He had perfect vision if he wore his
> glasses.  I met him through campus ministry. If it was not a long-distance
> relationship we probably never would have dated so long or married.  I don't
> know what the answer is to your great question Bill! Aside from your
> concerns I think it may be a societal problem that we are stuck in the
> middle of too. There's the Blind/sighted debate I will leave be.
>
> I'm just very happy to have found the right one at 45 and he just happens to
> be totally blind now. I say now because when I met him when we were
> teenagers he had more visual than I did – 20/100 in the best eye. For me as
> was stated, for a girl it's how you live out your faith, what's in your
> heart, and how you treat others in your family that matters more than
> anything else. How you treat family and others tells us how you're going to
> treat us in the end.
>
> Anyone else have some faithful thoughts? Perhaps some scripture?  I know
> some church cultures kind of help people match each other up – that courting
> concept. Has anybody in a church where that goes on then supported in
> finding a helpmate? Is there any societal or spiritual rules anymore for
> dating? Sometimes I wonder! My mother freaked me out or year or two ago by
> saying she didn't care if I shacked up with someone as long as they treated
> me right. Her take was that the federal laws didn't support us being married
> and she wanted us to be able to pay the bills. She said lots of senior
> citizens doing the same thing. I really don't like the concept of shacking
> up, but God knows the nations rules too. How does one  honor faith, family,
> & the call to be Partners with someone God has given you?
>
> Ericka Short
> 1750 Fordem Ave. #508
> Madison. WI. 53704
> 608-665-3170
>
> from my iPhone 6+
>
>> On May 10, 2017, at 12:12 PM, Bill Outman via Faith-Talk
>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Good day, folks.
>>
>>
>>
>> I know the list hasn't been very active of late but there is something I
>> need to explore with all of you to see where it goes.
>>
>>
>>
>> I am concerned in general about the difficulties we face as blind and
>> visually impaired people when it comes to seeking romance, how to go about
>> it and how to know if a particular relationship is potentially viable, and
>> the ground rules, if any exist, for behavior within such a potential
>> relationship.
>>
>>
>>
>> I would appreciate your thoughts, experiences and prayers on this matter.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> It's something that has caused great frustration, as there seems to be
>> sparse attention paid to this issue.
>>
>>
>>
>> By the way, if any of you ladies would like by any chance like to explore
>> with me where something could go, please get back to me off list and we'll
>> touch base.
>>
>>
>>
>> Bill Outman
>>
>> Daytona Beach, Florida
>>
>> Email: woutman at earthlink.net
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ---
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for if you persavear. you will conker never fear. try try try again