[Faith-talk] Relationship issues

mr. Chikodinaka Nickarandidum Oguledo ochikodinaka at gmail.com
Mon May 15 03:21:48 UTC 2017


he gives bithChildbirth on November 30th 2017 My wife lady Adonnih.
Happiness Oguledo

On 5/14/17, Jenny Keller via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> My taekwondo teacher feels exactly the same way :-) my orange belt proves it
>
>
> Jenny
>
>> On May 14, 2017, at 7:32 PM, David Moore via Faith-Talk
>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Wow, Jenny!
>> Amen! That is all I can say! The relationship I have with the Lord is much
>> better than what I have with my own wife, and that is the way it should
>> be. I asked Traci right out if she love God more than me. I can’t describe
>> the joy and pease I have through my relationship with God. At 20 years
>> old, I thought that I would meet a dream wife, but now at 51, I totally
>> agree with you. Those men who abused you, if I had it my way, they would
>> not be able to walk LOL! If my daughter was abused by a man, I believe
>> that God would be fine with me beating him unconscious. It is time women
>> start sticking up for themselves and realizing they deserve the best or
>> just have a relationship with the Lord. Women do not need a man. So many
>> women need to get that out of their head. All we really need is God. I
>> cry, I really do, over men abusing them, because women think they better
>> seddle or have nobody! I do not want any of you women seddling. If I had a
>> daughter, I would scare most guys away LOL! I think all women need to take
>> martial arts training or something so they can protect themselves. God has
>> no problem with that. Men, need to have a relationship with God to see how
>> to treat a woman. How would God treat a woman? That is what a man needs to
>> ask. I talk to women all of the time about the kind of man God would want
>> them to marry, and they just sigh and say, my that would be wonderful. I
>> can tell that these women think I am telling them a fary tail. It is so
>> sad that people are raised in environments where abuse is just normal like
>> eating. People really think that life is supposed to be like that. I cry
>> over this. Mom always said that if she had a daughter, she would knock a
>> man out for looking at her LOL! Men need to know that a relationship with
>> the Lord is much more important than a physical relationship. Men will be
>> men, I guess. Even King David in the Bible had a man killed so he could
>> take his wife. That is in theBible. I wish I had all of the answers for
>> helping men to treat a woman finer than gold. Fathers raise their sons to
>> be players. That is so sad. It all goes back to how we are raised. I am a
>> huge believer that the way we are as adults is 95 percent due to how we
>> were raised and told from the cradle. The actions from our parents make a
>> person the way he is as an adult. I hope things change someday, and Women
>> wil not put everything over having a man, and a man will develop a
>> relationship with God before he thinks about a woman. If you do not love
>> yourself and God first, you will never love your partner. It cannot
>> happen.
>> Take care, all.
>> David Moore
>> Sent from Mail for Windows 10
>>
>> From: Jenny Keller via Faith-Talk
>> Sent: Sunday, May 14, 2017 7:38 PM
>> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
>> Cc: Jenny Keller
>> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship issues
>>
>> Hi,
>>
>> I ask forgiveness for the way this message is written. I don't have a
>> Bluetooth keyboard and dictation is dictation. I went through some of
>> that. I've always dated with the intention of marriage. Not just to mess
>> around. However, I didn't stick to no sex before marriage. Except for one
>> relationship that freaked me out because I was pregnant unwed pregnant and
>> I didn't know what to do. Not in that kind of relationship not yet being
>> pregnant and without anyone.
>>
>> Both marriages were doomed to failure and had red flags from the
>> beginning. I was too blind and too stupid to realize that. I always wanted
>> to give people a chance. And, I excepted them for who they were. And, that
>> wasn't always the best thing to do.
>>
>> I have discovered that my faith comes first. And, unfortunately. Probably,
>> I am much too selfish for marriage. I have physical issues that make it
>> very difficult for someone to deal with a marriage with me. I am on able
>> to do a lot of housework. Though mobility is my thing.
>>
>> My last marriage though, threw that in my face. Oh you never do any
>> housework or help me around the house. I had told him from the beginning
>> don't start doing housework and expect me to do it five years from now,
>> and then throw it in my face later. That's exactly what happened. So, I
>> don't see myself in a relationship. I don't want to hear that crap from
>> anybody else. Heavenly father is my husband. My best friend. Everything.
>>
>> I'm not just saying this to say it. I just want people to understand, I
>> know that marriages can be wonderful. I also know that marriages can be
>> disaster. I have seen both, and mostly disaster. I have been abused both
>> mentally and physically by men. And not by my husband, but by other men
>> that I have dated. From starting my life with abuse from my mother
>> mentally emotionally and physically that's not exactly something you
>> recover from. Counseling is great. Prayer is great. But the scars are
>> still there.
>>
>> Heavenly father makes it to where they can be dealt with, or at least even
>> know they're there, you still can leave a successful and loving life. I
>> guess what I'm saying is. I understand what that gentleman said about just
>> not looking for marriage or a relationship. I am afraid of one anyway. I
>> go to church and they're single functions. However, funny thing enough
>> there's like way more than singles women then there are men :-) I guess
>> because I'm over the 31 section of single :-) I believe that I am going to
>> wait I know I am going to wait for someone who is more men best time. I
>> didn't always stick to that faith. I looked around at every other
>> Christian faith. But I returned now the third time, with the understanding
>> that I am there for a reason. I left because of typing issues. I was
>> completely against it. But after talking to my bishop, Pastor, I realize
>> that it was not just a commandment of the Lord, but that even though
>> people are really broke. They put their faith in the Lord by tightening.
>> That my bishop who is a doctor. Wasn't always a doctor :-)
>>
>> I love everybody and the list. It is wonderful to see the beauty in
>> relationships. And please understand, I'm not just trying to be
>> pessimistic. I guess I just want those who are worried about
>> relationships, gun shy, ET see that it is OK to not want to marry or to be
>> single and want to stay that way. Because sometimes, the Lord drop
>> something in our life that we are not expecting. You never know :-)
>>
>> I pray for everyone married single or thinking about it. Love is always
>> there with our heavenly father and Jesus Christ. That's the most wonderful
>> Love we could ever have. Never forget that any of us.
>>
>> Your sister in Christ always
>>
>>
>> Jenny
>>
>>> On May 14, 2017, at 12:03 AM, Chikodinaka Ogoledo via Faith-Talk
>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>
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>>> Original Message:
>>> From: David Moore via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
>>> To: "Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion"
>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
>>> CC: David Moore <jesusloves1966 at gmail.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship issues
>>> Date: Thu, 11 May 2017 00:16:10 -0400
>>>
>>> Hi all,
>>> David Moore here. I must tell you how Jesus Christ brought me to Traci my
>>> wife. I was born with enough sight to ride a bike, see colors, and to
>>> read very large print. I have had light perception since I was 15. I am
>>> now 51. At 21, I had a 9-month serious relationship with a totally blind
>>> girl. I realize we were totally wrong for each other, because she had
>>> blind Christian faith, where I was really searching and had not yet
>>> become a Christian. I studied the Bible and knew it well, but I still had
>>> questions, and Lin expected me to just believe it because the Bible says
>>> so, so we parted ways. I was friends with a lot, of mostly sighted women.
>>> Many of these women thought I was too good for them to date. They would
>>> say something like you're a nice teddy bear, and I do not want to ruin
>>> our friendship. You are like a sweet brother and friend, they would say.
>>> They always complained to me about their abusive boyfriends. I would say
>>> to them that they should try one date with me, and there would be no
>>> strings attached. They would not go for it. All these women friends did
>>> was to complain about their boyfriends to me LOL! My second relationship
>>> was between the time I was 26 and 28. We talked about marriage. She was
>>> sighted. Her mom would tell Mindy all the time that I could not provide
>>> for her and all of that. Her mom would barely talk to me, and she told
>>> Mindy to break up with me all the time, just because I was blind. Her mom
>>> would not even give me a chance. She started coming around a little bit,
>>> but I started getting tired of Mindy being so dependent on her parents.
>>> She was 30 at the time, and she went and cried to her mom and Dad
>>> everytime we had an argument. She had been so sheltered in a Christian
>>> home, and she had not experienced the world like I had. Before I became a
>>> Christian, I got wasted in college, partied, and was very rebellious
>>> against my parents. Mindy had not gone through any of that. We had
>>> totally different childhoods, and we grew apart. I never married her; and
>>> if I had, we would had divorced, I just know it. I told myself as a
>>> teenager that I would date someone for four years before getting married,
>>> because of my mom and dad's marriage. Mom said that she had hated dad for
>>> years, and never wanted to see his face. Mom talked to me about her hate
>>> for dad, and said she would kill herself. She threatened to kill herself
>>> a lot, and said it was because she got married. Mom told all three of us
>>> boys to never get married, because we would havehell on earth like she
>>> did. She told all of us to just shack up with a woman and never get
>>> married. I knew that was not right, because a neighbor began taking me to
>>> church when I was 15. I knew that something was different after a few
>>> times of going to church, and I knew there had to be a god to create all
>>> that is and on and on. Well, back to Mindy. I broke up with her, because
>>> our childhoods had been so different, and she ran to mom and dad over
>>> anything. So, I had broken up with two women by then who I had talked
>>> about marriage with. I knew these were not the women the Lord wanted me
>>> to have as a wife. I was not even a Christian yet. I had a third
>>> relationship, but it was not right either. Then, I met my wife Traci. I
>>> became a Christian shortly after we started dating. Listen to how we met.
>>> I was with a sighted friend, and he wanted to finish his coffee while we
>>> were at the bus stop. We let two busses pass by, and we boarded the third
>>> bus. Traci lived at the other end of town than I. Her car had broken
>>> down, and she happened to be on that bus. Now, she had heard me on the
>>> radio. I played a Bible Trivia show every Thursday night at 1:30 in the
>>> morning. One night, Traci turned on the radio and flipped the dial
>>> looking for something to listen to. She ran across this Bible show that I
>>> called in to play on, and she heard my voice on the radio and thought I
>>> was very spiritual and full of joy. She kept listening to the show every
>>> week, and then there I was on that bus that day. Her car had broken down,
>>> and she was at my end of town. She heard my voice as I talked to my
>>> friend, and she knew it was the guy she listened to on the radio every
>>> week. I really felt the Lord had told me, even before becoming a
>>> Christian, that I should wait until after marriage to have sex, because
>>> it would be so good if I waited, and that was the right think to do. I
>>> had gone to church since I was 15 as well. So, I met Traci on that bus,
>>> and I gave her my phone number, because her phone had not been put in
>>> yet. She had just moved. She called me back three days later, and we
>>> talked for nine hours. It was like we had known each other for our entire
>>> lives. Guess what? My blindness never came up in that entire
>>> conversation. Traci is totally sighted, and my blindness is nothing to
>>> her. She had a bad childhood like I did, Became a Christian after much
>>> rebellion, and she was very independent and determined to assert herself.
>>> LOL! This quality had been missing in all of the other Christian girls I
>>> dated. They had all been sheltered in church their entire lives, and new
>>> nothing about the world, or different kinds of people outside their small
>>> circle. But Traci was totally different. She had been in the mud, and had
>>> Called out to the Lord, and she had gone through a lot before she got
>>> close to the Lord, just like me. Well, I finally became a Christian after
>>> going to church for 18 years, at the age of 33. I had been in every faith
>>> circle there is. I had studied everything. But Jesus finally showed me
>>> that he is the only way, and Traci is the same. Both of us are so strong
>>> in our faith, because the Lord has brought us through hell on earth, and
>>> we are still fighting to this day. We have really gone through a lot
>>> since we met in 1997. I could go on for days in this message, but I want
>>> to leave you with a few thoughts. One:
>>> I waited until I was 31 before I met Traci, and I was not looking for
>>> anyone. I was happy with my life the way it was, and I had a lot of
>>> friends. The number one goal in my life was not to get married. I would
>>> have waited until I was 50 to meet the right woman to marry! I believe
>>> the person you should marry should love God more than they love you.
>>> Also, a person needs to love him or herself before they can love anyone
>>> else. A person needs to be in total acceptance of their blindness. When I
>>> met Traci, she was totally sighted, and she hardly talks about my
>>> blindness. I mean, it hardly comes up until I need her help for something
>>> that I cannot see. We joke about my blindness. I laugh with friends about
>>> being blind and how fun it is. Did you hear that? I think being blind is
>>> exciting, because I can talk to many more people about the Lord. Everyone
>>> wants to talk with me on the street, and I take advantage of that, and
>>> talk to them about where real happiness comes from. I tell them that it
>>> does not come from what the eyes can see. When Traci and I are together,
>>> people tell us that we look so happy and full of joy. We married in 2002,
>>> and we are coming up on 15 years of marriage.
>>> Well, I better stop. I am sorry if I have written way too much here. Take
>>> care, and have a great one.
>>> David Moore
>>> Sent from Mail for Windows 10
>>>
>>> From: Kevin LaRose via Faith-Talk
>>> Sent: Wednesday, May 10, 2017 9:15 PM
>>> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
>>> Cc: Kevin LaRose
>>> Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Relationship issues
>>>
>>> I absolutely agree that this is a topic that isn't discussed nearly
>>> enough and needs to be discussed more. Having said that, I wonder if this
>>> is the proper venue for such a discussion. While faith and relationship
>>> issues are undeniably linked, topics such as this one have the potential
>>> to go seriously off the rails. Sadly, I've seen it happen. That is up to
>>> the discretion of the moderators, of course, but I will put in one nugget
>>> of wisdom I've learned in my 52 plus years of life on this mortal coil.
>>> Whatever you do, always be true to yourself. Once you change because
>>> that's what you think the other person wants or needs you to, you've gone
>>> a long way toward losing the battle. Again, I speak from hard experience
>>> here. Best of luck to you.
>>>
>>> Kevin LaRose
>>> Anderson, IN
>>> Email: kl1964 at icloud.com
>>>
>>> On May 10, 2017, at 6:38 PM, Ericka via Faith-Talk
>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>
>>> Sorry for a long reply! Sometimes I think this will bring on more
>>> questions then it will answer anything. Remember one of the fruits of the
>>> spirit of patients so let's all work on this now.
>>>
>>> Bill, you bring up an interesting topic of which I agree does not get
>>> discussed too often. I guess perhaps people can share more testimonies of
>>> how they found their sweethearts. Not everybody is married here and this
>>> is probably a topic that should also be brought up in training centers
>>> during seminar time or philosophy class as well as in conventions etc. As
>>> the faith connection goes, most Churches teachings see family and
>>> marriage is something very sacred and not just a right of passage. I
>>> wonder if there are people out there who feel like they are outsiders
>>> just because they are not able to seek out decent people and fullfill
>>> their Faith by adding to the cloud of witnesses or however you want to
>>> state it. Personally I have no love life advice! I was one of those lost
>>> souls that never dated but had guy friends until almost 30. That didn't
>>> go so well and after 15 years of marriage we parted respectfully. He had
>>> perfect vision if he wore his glasses.  I met him through campus
>>> ministry. If it was not a long-distance relationship we probably never
>>> would have dated so long or married.  I don't know what the answer is to
>>> your great question Bill! Aside from your concerns I think it may be a
>>> societal problem that we are stuck in the middle of too. There's the
>>> Blind/sighted debate I will leave be.
>>>
>>> I'm just very happy to have found the right one at 45 and he just happens
>>> to be totally blind now. I say now because when I met him when we were
>>> teenagers he had more visual than I did - 20/100 in the best eye. For me
>>> as was stated, for a girl it's how you live out your faith, what's in
>>> your heart, and how you treat others in your family that matters more
>>> than anything else. How you treat family and others tells us how you're
>>> going to treat us in the end.
>>>
>>> Anyone else have some faithful thoughts? Perhaps some scripture?  I know
>>> some church cultures kind of help people match each other up - that
>>> courting concept. Has anybody in a church where that goes on then
>>> supported in finding a helpmate? Is there any societal or spiritual rules
>>> anymore for dating? Sometimes I wonder! My mother freaked me out or year
>>> or two ago by saying she didn't care if I shacked up with someone as long
>>> as they treated me right. Her take was that the federal laws didn't
>>> support us being married and she wanted us to be able to pay the bills.
>>> She said lots of senior citizens doing the same thing. I really don't
>>> like the concept of shacking up, but God knows the nations rules too. How
>>> does one  honor faith, family, & the call to be Partners with someone God
>>> has given you?
>>>
>>> Ericka Short
>>> 1750 Fordem Ave. #508
>>> Madison. WI. 53704
>>> 608-665-3170
>>>
>>> from my iPhone 6+
>>>
>>>> On May 10, 2017, at 12:12 PM, Bill Outman via Faith-Talk
>>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Good day, folks.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I know the list hasn't been very active of late but there is something I
>>>> need to explore with all of you to see where it goes.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I am concerned in general about the difficulties we face as blind and
>>>> visually impaired people when it comes to seeking romance, how to go
>>>> about
>>>> it and how to know if a particular relationship is potentially viable,
>>>> and
>>>> the ground rules, if any exist, for behavior within such a potential
>>>> relationship.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I would appreciate your thoughts, experiences and prayers on this
>>>> matter.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> It's something that has caused great frustration, as there seems to be
>>>> sparse attention paid to this issue.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> By the way, if any of you ladies would like by any chance like to
>>>> explore
>>>> with me where something could go, please get back to me off list and
>>>> we'll
>>>> touch base.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Bill Outman
>>>>
>>>> Daytona Beach, Florida
>>>>
>>>> Email: woutman at earthlink.net
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> ---
>>>> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
>>>> https://www.avast.com/antivirus
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