[Faith-Talk] Faith, Blindness and elderly grandparents

Fri Jun 11 00:37:13 UTC 2021

Has there been any thought to looking into assisted living places in 
Jaynesville so that they can be closer to you?

I know how I would feel if I had to move out of my house.  When we bought this 
house, I said the only way they'll get me out of here is in a hearse.  But if 
something like dementia happens to me, I may not have a choice.  Your grandma 
might adapt to a new place better than your grandpa will.  It's a blessing that 
you have worked in memory care for so long, because that has undoubtedly 
prepared you for this.  Knowing that God is in control of this situation must 
make it considerably more tolerable.  Let Him do what He does best, and I'm 
sure He will let you know how you can be there to assist and comfort them 
through the transition.

When will you be moving?  I want to keep that situation in prayer as well.

Blessings,
Joy

-----Original Message-----
From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ericka via 
Faith-Talk
Sent: Thursday, June 10, 2021 1:22 PM
To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion 
<faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Ericka <dotwriter1 at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] Faith, Blindness and elderly grandparents

Actually I think everything is providential. Yes actually we have found a 
church already and have talk to the pastor. He is very adamant that if somebody 
disrespects us from the congregation due to her disability we're supposed to 
report to him. He won't tolerate any discrimination of any kind. Or 
disrespectful remarks even. I take comfort in knowing that memorial day my 
grandparents and my husband now did go down to the house so they have been 
there. My grandma and I are so close that I know that meant a lot to her to 
still feel like she's a part of the family.

I think for my husband and I we feel guilty that we can't be there like a cited 
family member can easily or more easily do especially since we do not have 
children. Ironically I worked in memory care in some capacity or volunteered my 
whole adult life. I will pass on the references to my grandfather who is quite 
adept at the computer for someone who is 95. Does his own taxes and everything! 
I will share some of them also with my family as well since they've had less 
experience. I am very appreciative that you found things in our area. And you're 
right, we can as family members find a support group. That's something both my 
grandfather and my parents could really use.

Oh I never explained why I thought this was providential. Well you see my 
grandfather and grandmother are quite dang stubborn. We all saw the signs but 
we couldn't get my grandfather to get home health. He figured family and 
neighbors with just be able to be helped enough. So now that she's wandering 
and getting hurt the game has really changed. because once we move there won't 
be any family around to help it's going to force him to face assisted living as 
an option. And that has basically been what's happened. My mom comes up and 
sits with my grandma while my grandpa goes to the doctor or some other 
appointment and a couple of weeks ago just last week my dad and grandfather 
went to look at an assisted living/rehab facility well my mom stayed with my 
grandma. Arrest better knowing that the Lord is working in everyone to make 
things safer for my grandpa and grandma. You have to hand it to them they've 
lived in their own home and never had any reason to change it until now.

Ericka Nelson

> On Jun 10, 2021, at 12:09 PM, BRUCE&JOY BRESLAUER via Faith-Talk 
> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> ?Sounds like you have a plateful.
> We will pray for you.
> In addition, perhaps some of these resources might help.
>
> https://www.alz.org
>
> https://www.helpguide.org > alzheimers-dementia-aging
>
> https://www.acl.gov
>
> Caregiver's Guide to Understanding Dementia Behaviors ...
> https://www.caregiver.org > resource > caregivers-guide...
>
> Wisconsin Alzheimer's Family & Caregiver Support Program
> https://www.payingforseniorcare.com > Wisconsin
>
> Wisconsin - Alzheimer's Association https://www.alz.org > wi
>
> Dementia/Memory Care - Rock County Wisconsin https://www.co.rock.wi.us
> > adrc > dementia-care
>
> When my husband had cancer, we got in touch with the American Cancer
> Society and they helped us arrange free local rides with a cancer
> survivor to and from the doctor for daily radiation treatments.
>
> It may be that there is a support group or a local organization that
> you can contact that can help.
>
> I know this can be overwhelming.  I hope some of these suggestions or
> others you might find online can be of assistance.  I know
> transportation is a big deal, but lots of other people don't drive and
> I'm sure there are allowances for that.  Moving on top of this has to
> be stressful as well.  Will you be able to find a church near where you will 
> live?
>
> I guess one thing at a time.
>
> Keeping you and your situation in prayer.
>
> Joy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ericka
> via Faith-Talk
> Sent: Thursday, June 10, 2021 9:47 AM
> To: faith-talk at nfbnet.org
> Cc: Ericka <dotwriter1 at gmail.com>
> Subject: [Faith-Talk] Faith, Blindness and elderly grandparents
>
> Hey everybody is everyone all right? Hopefully you are enjoying a mask
> free summer with family and friends. Wisconsin Paul its mandate and
> the sizzling temperatures came about the same time so I'm quite
> thankful for many many reasons that we don't have to wear the masks anymore.
>
> I don't know if my subject line intrigued anyone. This has been a
> pretty darn quiet space lately. I'm surprised there hasn't been more
> concerned over churches getting their services online and having them
> be accessible. Anyhow our church goes back fully next weekend to "normal".
>
> How does everything else relate to the following below? It's not
> death. I'm not worried about that. I'm already prepared for the most
> part for my grandparents to pass. After all my grandma will be 97 next
> month. My grandpa just turned 95 a few months ago. However how do
> people balance the duties of being a caring support of grandchild with
> their Blindness? Has anybody been a caregiver for their elderly
> grandparents or a parent? Have you especially cared for someone with
> Alzheimer's or other dementia? I'm the oldest grandchild Lucy and my
> grandma and I are close. Like best friends, sharing secrets and all
> that. So I can usually read her mind and I can totally understand her
> dementia world but I can't be there with her 24 /7. I'd like to be
> there not to be a home caregiver but to help her transition from home
> life which is not going well with the wondering issues and stuff to
> assisted-living. I want her to know that I'm still there. There was
> one incident where she got out of the house during the day forgot that
> she had the phone and was talking to me. She ended up wandering around
> the neighborhood asking everybody they saw if they had seen her
> granddaughter and of course let them know that she was visually
> impaired. Her baby brother was run over by a car you see at age 5 and
> she's always felt responsible ever cents so she was in another world
> thinking I wasn't safe because of the drivers. At least she kept the
> phone on because then my husband and I could hear what was going on
> and relayed things to the cops so they could bring her home and make sure she 
> was more I mean my grandpa was home and all but he didn't realize she 
> wandered off. She had been sitting outside talking to me sitting on the front 
> stoop because the day was nice. This was a while ago.
> Now she's going out at night and last night she fell. She's in the
> hospital again for  the fall. Yesterday we buried her close friend and former 
> neighbor.
>
> Besides my grandpa, my husband and I are the only family in town. Well
> I have one cousin was dealing with the same issues with her mother.
> She's got a full load. My husband and I don't drive but my grandpa does so we 
> can do get rides.
> Passing after the pandemic is a nightmare. The website with all the
> road information isn't easily accessible and staff can't answer questions 
> anymore.
> Only bus drivers know so you can't really plan a route anymore you're
> in Madison. Most of the good assisted-living places are not on bus
> routes anyhow and never were. I really wish I could be the
> granddaughter came to visit every day. I know how important that is
> after 30 years of either volunteer or paid work in the field of
> dementia care. I don't know what to ask for. Of course prayers are
> helpful but anyone who has advice or emotional support would be very very 
> much appreciated.
>
> We are moving also so it complicates everything more. It's too
> expensive to live in Madison and with the unreliable bus situation we
> are moving to Janesville, a half hour ride southeast which does have
> busing up to Madison regularl.  We're trying not to feel guilty. We
> know that my grandpa won't be able to drive much longer. There's
> probably more I could give you for background but I hope that all have some 
> good help for us.
>
> Ericka Nelson
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