[Faith-Talk] Faith, Blindness and elderly grandparents

[Ericka]

Actually I think everything is providential. Yes actually we have found a church already and have talk to the pastor. He is very adamant that if somebody disrespects us from the congregation due to her disability we’re supposed to report to him. He won’t tolerate any discrimination of any kind. Or disrespectful remarks even. I take comfort in knowing that memorial day my grandparents and my husband now did go down to the house so they have been there. My grandma and I are so close that I know that meant a lot to her to still feel like she’s a part of the family.

I think for my husband and I we feel guilty that we can’t be there like a cited family member can easily or more easily do especially since we do not have children. Ironically I worked in memory care in some capacity or volunteered my whole adult life. I will pass on the references to my grandfather who is quite adept at the computer for someone who is 95. Does his own taxes and everything! I will share some of them also with my family as well since they’ve had less experience. I am very appreciative that you found things in our area. And you’re right, we can as family members find a support group. That’s something both my grandfather and my parents could really use.

Oh I never explained why I thought this was providential. Well you see my grandfather and grandmother are quite dang stubborn. We all saw the signs but we couldn’t get my grandfather to get home health. He figured family and neighbors with just be able to be helped enough. So now that she’s wandering and getting hurt the game has really changed. because once we move there won’t be any family around to help it’s going to force him to face assisted living as an option. And that has basically been what’s happened. My mom comes up and sits with my grandma while my grandpa goes to the doctor or some other appointment and a couple of weeks ago just last week my dad and grandfather went to look at an assisted living/rehab facility well my mom stayed with my grandma. Arrest better knowing that the Lord is working in everyone to make things safer for my grandpa and grandma. You have to hand it to them they’ve lived in their own home and never had any reason to change it until now.

Ericka Nelson

> On Jun 10, 2021, at 12:09 PM, BRUCE&JOY BRESLAUER via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Sounds like you have a plateful.
> We will pray for you.
> In addition, perhaps some of these resources might help.
> 
> https://www.alz.org
> 
> https://www.helpguide.org > alzheimers-dementia-aging
> 
> https://www.acl.gov
> 
> Caregiver's Guide to Understanding Dementia Behaviors ...
> https://www.caregiver.org > resource > caregivers-guide...
> 
> Wisconsin Alzheimer's Family & Caregiver Support Program
> https://www.payingforseniorcare.com > Wisconsin
> 
> Wisconsin - Alzheimer's Association https://www.alz.org > wi
> 
> Dementia/Memory Care - Rock County Wisconsin https://www.co.rock.wi.us > adrc > 
> dementia-care
> 
> When my husband had cancer, we got in touch with the American Cancer Society 
> and they helped us arrange free local rides with a cancer survivor to and from 
> the doctor for daily radiation treatments.
> 
> It may be that there is a support group or a local organization that you can 
> contact that can help.
> 
> I know this can be overwhelming.  I hope some of these suggestions or others 
> you might find online can be of assistance.  I know transportation is a big 
> deal, but lots of other people don't drive and I'm sure there are allowances 
> for that.  Moving on top of this has to be stressful as well.  Will you be able 
> to find a church near where you will live?
> 
> I guess one thing at a time.
> 
> Keeping you and your situation in prayer.
> 
> Joy
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ericka via 
> Faith-Talk
> Sent: Thursday, June 10, 2021 9:47 AM
> To: faith-talk at nfbnet.org
> Cc: Ericka <dotwriter1 at gmail.com>
> Subject: [Faith-Talk] Faith, Blindness and elderly grandparents
> 
> Hey everybody is everyone all right? Hopefully you are enjoying a mask free 
> summer with family and friends. Wisconsin Paul its mandate and the sizzling 
> temperatures came about the same time so I'm quite thankful for many many 
> reasons that we don't have to wear the masks anymore.
> 
> I don't know if my subject line intrigued anyone. This has been a pretty darn 
> quiet space lately. I'm surprised there hasn't been more concerned over 
> churches getting their services online and having them be accessible. Anyhow 
> our church goes back fully next weekend to "normal".
> 
> How does everything else relate to the following below? It's not death. I'm not 
> worried about that. I'm already prepared for the most part for my grandparents 
> to pass. After all my grandma will be 97 next month. My grandpa just turned 95 
> a few months ago. However how do people balance the duties of being a caring 
> support of grandchild with their Blindness? Has anybody been a caregiver for 
> their elderly grandparents or a parent? Have you especially cared for someone 
> with Alzheimer's or other dementia? I'm the oldest grandchild Lucy and my 
> grandma and I are close. Like best friends, sharing secrets and all that. So I 
> can usually read her mind and I can totally understand her dementia world but I 
> can't be there with her 24 /7. I'd like to be there not to be a home caregiver 
> but to help her transition from home life which is not going well with the 
> wondering issues and stuff to assisted-living. I want her to know that I'm 
> still there. There was one incident where she got out of the house during the 
> day forgot that she had the phone and was talking to me. She ended up wandering 
> around the neighborhood asking everybody they saw if they had seen her 
> granddaughter and of course let them know that she was visually impaired. Her 
> baby brother was run over by a car you see at age 5 and she's always felt 
> responsible ever cents so she was in another world thinking I wasn't safe 
> because of the drivers. At least she kept the phone on because then my husband 
> and I could hear what was going on and relayed things to the cops so they could 
> bring her home and make sure she was more I mean my grandpa was home and all 
> but he didn't realize she wandered off. She had been sitting outside talking to 
> me sitting on the front stoop because the day was nice. This was a while ago. 
> Now she's going out at night and last night she fell. She's in the hospital 
> again for  the fall. Yesterday we buried her close friend and former neighbor.
> 
> Besides my grandpa, my husband and I are the only family in town. Well I have 
> one cousin was dealing with the same issues with her mother. She's got a full 
> load. My husband and I don't drive but my grandpa does so we can do get rides. 
> Passing after the pandemic is a nightmare. The website with all the road 
> information isn't easily accessible and staff can't answer questions anymore. 
> Only bus drivers know so you can't really plan a route anymore you're in 
> Madison. Most of the good assisted-living places are not on bus routes anyhow 
> and never were. I really wish I could be the granddaughter came to visit every 
> day. I know how important that is after 30 years of either volunteer or paid 
> work in the field of dementia care. I don't know what to ask for. Of course 
> prayers are helpful but anyone who has advice or emotional support would be 
> very very much appreciated.
> 
> We are moving also so it complicates everything more. It's too expensive to 
> live in Madison and with the unreliable bus situation we are moving to 
> Janesville, a half hour ride southeast which does have busing up to Madison 
> regularl.  We're trying not to feel guilty. We know that my grandpa won't be 
> able to drive much longer. There's probably more I could give you for 
> background but I hope that all have some good help for us.
> 
> Ericka Nelson
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