[Faith-Talk] serving and connection

Sun Aug 11 00:25:03 UTC 2024

i have no intere3s interest anymore because i don't want anything i will
just waste away a instead of doing anything and stuff.

On Sat, Aug 10, 2024 at 7:35 PM Judy Jones via Faith-Talk <
faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> Andrew,
>
> You aren't getting suggestions because people are judging you.  You are
> getting suggestions because people care.  We are brothers and sisters in
> Christ, and we have all needed to hear hard truths from time to time, butit
> is you that has to do for yourself.
>
> Make a list of these suggestions people have given, figure out which is
> the easiest for you to tackle, even if you can only do a tiny bit of one
> suggestion.  Keep at it.
>
> Let me ask you:  What were you hoping or expecting to hear when you
> presented the first e-mail to the list?  What outcome are you looking for?
>
>
>
> Judy
>
> “Embrace each day with His mercies and blessings.”
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2024 4:09 PM
> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion <
> faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
>
> well i don't see a r3eason to do anything then because all i am getting
> from people is judgment and stuff.
>
> On Sat, Aug 10, 2024 at 11:21 AM Sarah Blake LaRose via Faith-Talk <
> faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> > Hi Andrew.
> > First, the person hindering you most is yourself. You know your
> > capabilities and it is up to you to let people know what you can do. If
> you
> > let people do things for you because they keep doing them, then they will
> > think you can't do them. So, if the driver tries to put your seatbelt on
> > for you and you are perfectly capable of doing it, tell him you don't
> need
> > that help thank you very much.
> > What will help your advocacy skills is experience, not someone else doing
> > it for you.
> > Also, please take time to proofread your emails. I am certain that you
> can
> > write well. Your emails are coming out very jumbled because you are not
> > taking time to proofread. If sighted people are reading this kind of mail
> > from you, this is likely contributing to your problem. Write as well as
> you
> > speak, in good complete sentences. Communicate clearly.
> > Knowing your way around an area is not a prerequisite to having fun. If
> > you want to participate with a group on a field trip, go and plan to be
> > included. Let people know what you would like to do. You are doing a lot
> of
> > assuming that there are all the things you can't do. The rest of the
> world
> > is already doing this on your behalf. Assume there are ways you can do
> > things and start seeking them out. Make the world your ally instead of
> > letting them make you theirs.
> >
> >
> > Sarah Blake LaRose, D.Min.
> > sarah at sarahblakelarose.com
> > http://www.sarahblakelarose.com
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Deborah
> via
> > Faith-Talk
> > Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2024 10:52 AM
> > To: 'Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion' <
> > faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Deborah <deborahb14 at verizon.net>
> > Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> >
> > My church has a Lyft account that they use when I can't take the bus.
> > They have actually used it for me sometimes when the bus is running.  If
> > your town is very small, that is not an option.  Sometimes if you get
> > yourself there, people are more willing to help you get home.  That
> > sometimes works for evening activities because the bus is still running
> at
> > the beginning of the event but not at the end.
> >
> > Also, if you join a group activity, you have to attend for a little while
> > to decide if the group is for you.  I also think we all need to remember
> > that our ministry is to serve God rather than just participate in an
> > organizational activity.  If you know of an elderly person who is not
> > getting visitors, visit them on your own.  This is a little hard for
> those
> > of us who do not have our own transportation, because sometimes a sickly
> > person wants a short visit and sometimes they want to talk for two hours,
> > and there is no way of predicting what they will want.  Try to find
> > opportunities to study the Bible with one other person.
> >
> > Debbie Brown
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Faith-Talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
> > bruce&joy breslauer via Faith-Talk
> > Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2024 5:13 AM
> > To: 'Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion' <
> > faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: bruce&joy breslauer <breslauerj at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> >
> > Do you have a service or a program that can teach you orientation and
> > mobility skills, or is there somewhere you could go to learn daily living
> > skills like cooking, cleaning, laundry, hygiene, handling finances,
> reading
> > Braille, using computers, learning job skills, or whatever it is you need
> > to learn or need to build up your confidence doing?  I don't know if
> > blindness is your only disability. I don't know what you need so I'm just
> > including a random list.  You say you live in a small town, so I don't
> know
> > what transportation options are available to you.  Some places have
> busses
> > or vans for the elderly or handicapped, and some have busses that anybody
> > can ride if you know the schedule.  Are there any groups who help the
> blind
> > learn things they need to learn in order to be on their own successfully?
> > You say there aren't any other blind people around, so you can't learn
> from
> > someone as a mentor.  But I know there is a Canadian group for the blind.
> > I just looked it up and there is more than one.  The first one I came to
> > was the Canadian National Institute for the Blind.  They say they have
> > local chapters all over Canada, and they might even have at large
> chapters
> > which meet by phone or by zoom if you are too far from a local chapter.
> If
> > you look up your province on the list, they will tell you the phone
> number
> > to call. I don't know if that interests you, but if they can't help you,
> > perhaps they can point you in the direction of someone who can.
> >
> > I just came across a really cool thing on their web site.  They have a
> > mobile van that they can bring to your community at no cost.  Here is
> what
> > their web site says about it:
> > Meet the CNIB Mobile Hub – a new program delivery model where we visit
> > your community to deliver in-person programming at no cost to you. Drop
> in
> > to meet CNIB staff and learn more about free programs and resources for
> > people who are blind, Deafblind, or have low vision. Enjoy a day of
> > recreational and social activities, technology workshops, and much more.
> > Experience the latest breakthroughs in assistive tech from CNIB SmartLife
> > and connect with other members of the sight loss community.
> >
> > To see where we’re headed next, check out our tour schedule.
> > https://www.cnib.ca/programs-and-services/live/cnib-mobile-hub
> >
> > I hope some of this helps.
> >
> > I think some of the changes you're seeking may start with you.  You're
> the
> > one who knows yourself best and knows what you need.  Joy
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> > edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> > Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2024 2:16 AM
> > To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion <
> > faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> >
> > Hi  I know  I guess the thing that stops me is not only  self confident
> > end of thing that is stopping me but in my area  i wouldn't be welcomed
> on
> > to most construction sights I think that kind of is really  well I don't
> > know.
> > My family never  has never pushed me to advokate in anyway.
> >
> > While I  for most part moved out on my own  most cases my family  has
> > never  whatever I think that even they don't know what blind people to do
> > because they have never bothered to educate themselves.
> >
> > I have conversations with people  from latest c latest church i currently
> > go to and they say it is to bad that  or say they understand i want to do
> > more  but no effort was ever made for me to help out.
> >
> > There is no hiking groups in my area at all. I tried to look for them and
> > look for  stuff along those lines.
> > With trips and stuff i just don't know how to even find way  ways to go
> to
> > these places i would want to go to. going on these adventures to me is
> not
> > a problem but it is finding people to do these things with Water parks
> > would be harder to do if person doesn't ride water slide because I
> wouldn't
> > know my way around in water parks and stuff.
> >
> > I really  far as youth group did go on few of the trips actually as well
> > like he did accomidate way in a sence.
> >
> > There is hardly any other blind people seen in the community here. So i
> > live in a smaller town in a sence.
> >
> > allot of people around here don't have the blind person can do it
> attitude
> > and for me to  be  advocating for myself totally alone or like the lone
> > ranger trying to advocate myself is very hard or would be very hard and
> to
> > me it is hard to  and very tiring to explaine to people i cn can cross a
> > street and stuff like that for example.
> >
> > Not every place in town is excessible I can only get to one grocery store
> > in town out of the 2 or 3 others bu by myself because of the
> > inexcessibility of the parking lots no way for pudestrians to get in
> there
> > without dealing with bunch of cars in and out  I can't go to a sub place
> at
> > all one of them because there is no safe way to get there at all even o
> and
> > m never could figure it out.
> >
> > part of me really wishes that somebody could at least help me with the
> > advokating part of things at the very least that is the thing.
> >
> > Like I do go to a day program for people with disabilities but most times
> > i am just sitting there doing nothing.  I am always left out of the games
> > they are doing and left out of video games and i used to be in another
> day
> > program last year but they didn't do very good at getting me playing
> games
> > because these certain ones were playing the card or board games I never
> got
> > a turn or anything like that.
> >
> > Also they never gave me chance to know my way around at all they never
> > gave me chance to They never  whatever I never used the bathroom while
> > there because I didn't feel i could be independent over  independent
> > because they were almost treating me differently like you need help with
> > this and that type of thing.
> > even their vollunteer drivers especially one in particular ansisted on
> > putting my seatbelt on but that was only one he put it on before i had
> > chance to say anything so when I was coming home and he was doing
> something
> > else i quickly put it on.
> >
> > So i ended up leaving that particular program.
> >
> >
> > People around here really don't want me to help out with stuff  each time
> > i mention it to my mom she is like i don't know what to tell you.
> >
> >
> > I just feel so alone in my struggles and i hate being so alone in the end
> > of advocacy and i know i need to do it probably but i don't know how to
> > really build that self confidence when people are not as open to me doing
> > things or blind people doing things.
> >
> > It feels like i am always being watched and stuff.
> >
> > I don't mind people helping me but when they help me to much just because
> > i am blind it can really be over whelming.
> >
> > I don't know how to use discord I can never get it to work for me and  i
> > been trying to figure it out on my computer but it is very hard because
> > allot of the time i don't know how to make it work and how to whatever.
> as
> > allot of things are not excessible.
> >
> > I have a real hard time finding out about events in my area weather it is
> > restaurants or web sites not always info is even excessible and miss
> stuff.
> >
> > I had been trying to fix that events thing by having a facebook group
> > somebody else helped start but facebook becao became un became the option
> > that is out the door because i have not been able to log in for whole
> month
> > because i kept getting error messages like sorry we will fix it something
> > went wrong usually it fixed but this time it is that way for 4 weeks now
> or
> > a month i use facebook on my computer so i can't access the group on
> > facebook. i even tried resetting passwords and everything so no go.
> >
> >
> >
> > On Sat, Aug 10, 2024 at 2:38 AM Ashley Bramlett via Faith-Talk <
> > faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > > Hi,
> > > That is too bad you did not feel too included as a Christian teenager.
> > > Well, its too bad you did not have your mom or family member advocate.
> > > It sounds like the adult leaders had misconceptions and did not seek
> > > to educate themselves about inclusion and that is real sad.
> > >
> > > When I was in youth groups, I did most things but not other activities.
> > > Like you though, I went to because I wanted to be out of the house and
> > > my parents just said it was available and I should go like my brothers
> > did.
> > > I think they told the youth group leaders about sighted guide and to
> > > describe things to me such as when they served dinner or snacks to
> > > tell me the options before serving me; but not too much else.
> > > I was finding myself as a teen like all other teens and did not know
> > > all of what I needed but did do some advocating.
> > >
> > > If the group did sports, I was left out, but for most activities, I
> > > went to them. It was a long time ago so I do not even remember what we
> > > did. I think we did some prayer, stories, drama, simply socializing,
> and
> > singing.
> > > We also had some fun outings and some I attended such as bowling.
> > > I have some memories of youth retreats too.
> > > The adult leaders did accommodate me sometimes.
> > > At the time I did not have a braille Bible so when we did our Bible
> > > story time, I think one of the leaders read to me.
> > > Much of the retreat was to hang out and talk and have plenty of food.
> > > I remember having a good time overall.
> > >
> > > I think you need to advocate for yourself! Maybe you can find other
> > > friends with your same disability to hang out. In my area, there are
> > > day programs for people with developmental disabilities so maybe try
> > > to find one. If you use a Ipad or Iphone, there are apps to chat with
> > > people who share your interests such as the clubhouse app. Oh and
> > > there is discord too. Not the same as a real place to hang out but it
> > > would give you the connection to talk to people.
> > >
> > > You can certainly go to adventure activities such as amusement parks,
> > > Andrew!
> > > In my area there are clubs for that. There is a hiking club and a
> > > running club and some others. Maybe try finding a club to do this with.
> > > Just go sighted guide and have someone tell you the rides they see
> > > around and pick some to go on. Its fun.
> > >
> > > If someone told you that you cannot work with the elderly, that is
> > > real discriminatory and you should absolutely not have to bring
> > > someone with you to perform that task of being a friendly visitor.
> > >
> > > Finally, you can certainly do hands on activities. I do not know what
> > > is stopping you still. I just think you lack self confidence.
> > > So, look for a service project and go for it. Fill out the
> > > applications and steps for it and go for it.
> > > If they tell you no, go to the head of the organization. If no
> > > resolution, if it were me, I'd blast them! I'd go to the media, write
> > > letters to the editor about me being barred from serving and working
> > > for no money expected, and then get the equivalent of NFB involved. I
> > > know you have something like the NFB in Canada
> > >
> > > I've not done much hands on work and moving around tables and chairs,
> > > but I know blind people who did do it. I also have heard of several
> > > blind people doing it from NFB articles and lists.
> > > You could serve on a house project with the equivalent of Habitat for
> > > Humanity. You could serve at a soup kitchen. Some nonprofits here have
> > > projects to move in donated furniture and beautify houses and you
> > > could do that.
> > > I'm sure your country has something similar.
> > > Blind people have done these things. Just have someone show you what
> > > to do. If its hands on work, that can be done by touching the tools.
> > > You could perhaps start by organizing items or participating by
> > > handing group members tools or help lifting things assuming you have
> > > the strength to do it. For instance, if you are bringing in supplies
> > > to repair something in a home, you can help carry it and unload
> supplies.
> > > If you go on a campfire outing and you want to help get the fire
> > > ready, carry the supplies over for it.
> > >
> > > These service projects are doable and you should not be stopped. I'll
> > > send a few links to articles about people serving in ministry to help
> > > the homeless and other vonerable populations.
> > >
> > > I have some vision and use a cane. So,  I have to first tell them a
> > > little about what I do not see since I look normal. Sometimes it seems
> > > like totally blind people are accepted less. If you have blindisms,
> > > like rocking, try to stop. That is off putting to people.
> > >
> > > It can be done. These articles speak of overcoming the misconceptions
> > > other sighted people had but they did it and participated.
> > >
> > > HTH,
> > > Ashley
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> > > edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> > > Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2024 1:20 AM
> > > To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion
> > > < faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> > > Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> > > Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> > >
> > > I have even asked my mom and stuff about vollunteer opportunities and
> > > she has no idea's for me either.
> > > I did go to youth groups and stuff earlier and I like Ashley was left
> > > out of some activities in fact I was all by myself when they went to
> > > play their games in the Gym.
> > > They often didn't include me in much but i still went to get out of
> > > the house.
> > >
> > > I also asked some young people to hang with me as well at times and i
> > > always found that they just didn't seem to want to and it was like
> > > they didn't care to hang with me.
> > >
> > > People don't seem to want to do much with me I don't know if it is
> > > because they trh think they need to help me or they think there is  or
> > > it is to complicated to hang out with a blind person I just don't know
> > what it is.
> > >
> > > or if it is because people don't want to deal with those with
> > disabilities.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > On Fri, Aug 9, 2024 at 11:45 PM Brian Hatgelakas via Faith-Talk <
> > > faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> > >
> > > > you said it 100 percent correctly!
> > > >
> > > > On Fri, Aug 9, 2024 at 11:15 PM Ashley Bramlett via Faith-Talk <
> > > > faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Hi,
> > > > > It sounds like you are lonely.
> > > > > It sounds like you want someone to assist you with walking and
> > > > > getting
> > > > out
> > > > > in the community for fitness participation and social activities.
> > > > > I'm going to a church with my dad which is also small and most
> > > > > members
> > > > are
> > > > > older or maybe adults middle age with families.
> > > > >
> > > > > I have not exactly asked to serve but I suspect they would be fine
> > > > > with most activities. I have considered helping out with the youth
> > > > > group.
> > > > >
> > > > > I am also seeking a fitness buddy to have nature walks with or
> > > > > simple
> > > > trail
> > > > > walking or tandem biking.
> > > > > But, so far I did not find anyone. I asked our nearest chapter of
> > > > Achilles
> > > > > international, dc chapter,
> > > > > But did not find anyone; no response yet.
> > > > > So, I know what you mean about needing a guide to do activities
> > > > > with and finding no one. I can and do exercise alone at a gym such
> > > > > as by using the seated bikes or treadmills but I do so much desire
> > > > > to do some outside
> > > > walks
> > > > > or biking and go with someone so I can focus on the walk and
> > > > > exercise,
> > > > not
> > > > > my mobility skills.
> > > > > I also want more social connections either from the church or
> > > elsewhere.
> > > > >
> > > > > It sounds like you have other disabilities given how this is
> > > > > written and how you write here. I do not know your full situation.
> > > > > I'm just speculating.
> > > > > It would be helpful to know what you really mean. So far your
> > > > > emails are vague saying that You simply are not accepted and you
> > > > > are not finding connections.
> > > > > What do you want to do? Some examples? What were some things you
> > > > > tried
> > > > and
> > > > > were rejected from?
> > > > > Saying you have lack of opportunity does not tell us much.
> > > > >
> > > > > I do not mean to be critical but you have written things like this
> > > > > before and it comes up year after year.
> > > > > Only by getting specific can we help some.
> > > > >
> > > > > Writing things like this
> > > > > " It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to
> > > > > support me or help me find those opportunities either as part of a
> > > > > church or even ministry and stuff like that."
> > > > > Does not say much.
> > > > >
> > > > > Have you tried finding connections through a community website?
> > > > > Here we have www.meetup.com, but I'm not sure you have that.
> > > > > I've not used this myself, but I know it's a way to find groups to
> > > > > meet
> > > > up
> > > > > with.
> > > > >
> > > > > I do hope you find something. If there is a Christian ministry for
> > > > > the blind in Canada where you are, maybe you can help them, even
> > > > > if its remotely.
> > > > > Here in the USA we have Christian Record Services and Lutheran
> > > > > Braille Workers; both are far from my home of VA but I've
> > > > > considered trying to do something with them  remotely. Maybe
> > > > > writing something or conducting something over a video platform
> like
> > zoom.
> > > > >
> > > > > You have to educate people about your abilities too. You may not
> > > > > be asked to help as they do not know what you can do or how you
> > > > > can do it, so do educate them.
> > > > >
> > > > > Anyways, with more specifics, maybe we can give more suggestions.
> > > > >
> > > > > Ashley
> > > > >
> > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of
> > > > > andrew edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> > > > > Sent: Friday, August 9, 2024 10:27 PM
> > > > > To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion
> > > > > <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> > > > > Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> > > > > Subject: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> > > > >
> > > > > Hi
> > > > > My name is Andrew for those who don't know me.
> > > > >
> > > > > I have just had struggle after struggle with  just being able to
> > > > > serve as part of a church body and stuff like that other then
> > > > > maybe music and
> > > > stuff
> > > > > like that.
> > > > > To me the experience is they don't know what to do with me because
> > > > > of my blindness and stuff like that.
> > > > > It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to
> > > > > support me
> > > > or
> > > > > help me find those opportunities either as part of a church or
> > > > > even ministry and stuff like that.
> > > > > The answer I always get is just pray about it while we should do
> > > > > that
> > > > and i
> > > > > been doing that all along but faith should be followed up by
> > > > > action to
> > > > and
> > > > > stuff like that.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > While I don't know other area's speciffically my church is a very
> > > > > small church so it is limited but I want to find christian
> > > > > ministries who actually let blind people serve even if it is from
> > > > > home or some other way.
> > > > >
> > > > > The other area is that i have trouble making connections that
> > > > > really
> > > > foster
> > > > > into more then just sunday morning fellowship.
> > > > > I have tried to find hiking partners and finding other things.
> > > > > i reached out to couple of the other churches for walking buddies
> > > > > and
> > > > stuff
> > > > > like that and just other people whom perhaps i can really make
> > > > > connection with from a church to do coffee with or do other things
> > > > > with and I don't know they are afraid of the fact i am blind I
> > > > > don't
> > > know what it is.
> > > > > I just been really looking for answers as to what to do with
> > > > > myself like
> > > > i
> > > > > have few people in building i connect with but they have
> > > > > disabilities
> > > > that
> > > > > keep them from doing walks with me or  other adventures I would
> > > > > like to
> > > > be
> > > > > able to go on and stuff like that.
> > > > >
> > > > > I struggle making connection through or  church or community  like
> > > > > I said even a buddy of mine has tried to talk to t others about
> > > > > others about walking with me or what not but there is great
> > > > > hazatation and never had
> > > > any
> > > > > luck weather it is walking or ki hiking and stuff like that.  or
> > > > > even people to really connect with.
> > > > > _______________________________________________
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> > > > *Brian P. Hatgelakas | *
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