[humanser] Academic/Professional Update and Request for Advice

[Carmella Broome]

This is an interesting thread.  I appreciate the  thoughtful responses and good questions.  This is what I love about lists like this and why they are so crucial. Here is my experience, for what its worth. This will be a little lengthy but I hope it is helpful.  Please feel free to post it to any other lists this discussion is taking place on if it seems relevant.  I'm not on student lists anymore, but am always glad to help and encourage students when I can so  feel free to post it there if you'd like. 

I finished my undergrad degree in Dec of 99 and was planning to take a year off before starting grad school.  I hadn't had time to fully research grad programs, much less apply to any.  During the time between, while deciding where to apply in the first place, I  wanted to  concentrate on doing some  relevant volunteer work to get more work experience.  I also wanted to  return to a state rehab center for additional training. I had done O&M training throughout high school and had participated in a summer program for high school students at my state Commission for the Blind's rehab center during a couple of summers.  I had also done city ttravel work while  training with both of my guide dogs.  Still,  I felt that certain skills needed refreshing or strengthening. I was from a small town and had  attended small  colleges as an undergrad student. I was planning to attend a bigger university for grad school and wanted to  strengthen my confidence in O&M and
  assistive tech skills, in particular. I also wanted to  get a little more training in cooking as I planned to live in an apartment. 

I was at the rehab center from late August  of 200 to early January 2001 when I started grad classes. I think it was a good decision on several levels. The skills part was  crucial, but beyond that,  I did gain confidence and  felt supported by knowledgeable and encouraging people as I was making  this important transition. 

I  was able to  brush up on the latest with JAWS and have some support while transitioning from using a desktop to using a laptop.  I  had always been a nervous  traveler and  got my sea legs a little better as far as O&M.  My guide dog and I needed to do some work under supervision in  a busier city area and were able to do that, so that by the time we started grad school, I also felt that her skills  were  honed more, too.  Our previous experiences were  on smaller campusses in smaller areas like I said, other than when we were training together at the guide dog school. I'm still not an adventurous traveler but I knew we could  get around campus safely, which was what I  wanted.

One of the best things (and this wouldn't be the case for everyone, of course) was that the training center was in the same city as the university I would be attending.  I'd looked into various schools in GA, NC, and SC and had decided the program I liked best was the one closest to home for several reasons.   I  was in the process of applying to the counselor education program  to specialize in marriage and family therapy at the University of South Carolina at the time but had already been accepted as a nondegree student. This meant I could take a couple of  lower level grad classes.  There were no guarantees I'd actually get in to the Counselor Ed program, but if I did, I would already have those classes behind me and I  was also able to go ahead and start getting to know professors and  peers in the  program.  The department folks could already get a sense of me and   my w ork ethic so that, when they reviewed my application, they'd  already know
 something of me besides what was on  paper.  It was a risky  decision in a way, but I moved forward as though I knew for sure I would get in. I went ahead and got an apartment and  had my heart and mind completely set on what would happen.  Good thing  it all went the way I wanted it to, I guess. I found out I could do this from someone who  worked at the Commission for the Blind who had also attended USC so that was something else that might not have happened if I hadn't gone there for training.   She has passed away now sadly, but I'll always be thankful for that piece  of advice.   

So,  the campus was about 10 minutes away from the  rehab center. My O&M instructor and I  (and my guide dog Maggie) spent a lot of time  on campus   learning to navigate around the area I would be frequenting most. By the time I started, I was familiar with the building most of the counseling classes would be held in, how to find the library,  the building where disability services was, and the general main campus area.  Once I had an apartment, we worked the tricky intersection  next to it and the  route to campus.  We also worked a couple of tricky intersections  I would be dealing with on campus.  

The  result of all this was that I felt more prepared  ahead of time, and more confident  in knowing I wouldn't have to try and  learn routes and new technology  at the same time as I was  starting classes and getting used to  a new apartment and  everything at once.  I tend to be easily overwhelmed and easily intimidated anyway and this was a highly stressful situation with lots of change and  me feeling I had a lot  to prove to myself and others.  That was added pressure I put on me, of course.   It was a wise and important decision. My family  (Dad in particular)  didn't  like  me going back there.  He  wasn't sure I needed it or that I  would get the help I needed there.  He had some issues (some of them justified) with how things were done at that particular agency.  I do think I might have gotten better  training at  a center like CCB.  I didn't have the time and thought it would be a fight to get  VR to pay for that.  I also had concerns about  
 going to a center with a guide dog as I'd heard  conflicting reports of how accepting a center would be of that. My state's program is modelled a great deal after  the NFB philosophy  and does some similar things. I felt like  I could get what I needed there and then could build on  that training myself as needed.    

The help I got from the  people at the rehab center, especially the AT folks and an amazing  O&M  instructor (DuPree McKenzie  for fellow list members from  SC) was incredibly  beneficial. He came out several other times during my grad program to help me  orient to other buildings I found out I would have classes in.  One of the coolest times was when I got a ride on the first day of a new class to one of these buildings with a couple of classmates.  It wasn't a place I could walk to.  They'd never been to this building so they didn't know where to go.  I had already done O&M there one afternoon and had   learned where the classroom was. I said, "I know where we're going.  Follow me" and Mag and I lead them up to the second floor and right to the classroom.   Moments like that are a great feeling.    

I didn't  become a master chef.  That was the weakest area, I think.  What I did realize  was that cooking was just something I was going to have to   be willing to experiment with to gain confidence and I have done that over the years.   Recently, I actually shared some easy recipes with a coworker and I would never have thought I would be someone  sharing recipes with anyone.   Its cool to be able to  take things to work  like  soup or apple cider or  cookies like  others do.    

I'll admit that I didn't feel that I fit in very wel with most of the other students at the rehab program.  They were older and  most had  lost sight later in life.  I've been blind since birth and was there for some very specific reasons.  I was also  one of the few who had guide dogs and a lot of my fellow students didn't like, or were afraid of, dogs. I was in my  mid20s and  just passing through while many of them wer  (and had been) there for a long time.  Ithink some of them thought I was  a snob or  judged me in other ways, but I didn't have time for the drama and  was very focussed on what I was there to accomplish.  I did make a couple new friends who were  close and supportive as I was   taking this next big steptowards more independent living and   furthering my education towards becoming a counselor.   All this helped me to be less anxious when I started my grad classes. 

Throughout my education, I met several  college and graduate students who were also blind and who  obviously  hadn't had the  independent living skills training they needed or didn't have the confidence to use it.  They obviously had a tough time and were very dependent on others and   it seemed obvious that they'd put the cart before the horse.  These were  extreme cases, though, people who couldn't  get around small campusses independently and who were very lacking in some crucial social skills to ask and receive  appropriate help appropriately.   You're obviously beyond that point so that means you have more flexibility in terms of options. I would agree with Melissa that  attending a program, even if its just for a brief time, could be very helpful.  Also, I would focus on  the  needs and skills that seem most important right now.  If  your concerns are specific (and it seems like they are), maybe  individualizing what you need makes better since in
 some ways than  doing a whole program. I wonder if your  VR counselor could arrange for  an O&M instructor to come  and work with you on  other transportation modes you aren't  as comfortable with.   Maybe you could find tutorials  or   online  classes to help you with the  adaptive tech concerns you're having or maybe  VR would  provide you with someone to  crash course you on what you need who would come to you.   

Knowing you  are as ready as possible emotionally and practically is very important.   I think  feeling secure in your abilities as  someone who is blind helps you to come across as more  poised and  confident.  I think  knowing how to  be assertive and  ask for what you need is a vital skill just as much as  O&M, adaptive tech, or any of the others.  You have to be able to set your boundaries and  not let people at a rehab center,  Services for Students  With Disabilities office, or anyone else, tell you what you absolutely need and how you have to do things  because this is just how things are done. Seeking support from others who've  been successful is really helpful.  Having people who can  provide practical help and  know how is  vital but having the emotional support is crucial, too.   This  means  blind and sighted people.  You aren't going to be perfect at everything and don't have to be.  That's not what independence is, in my  opinion. 
 Independence is finding the ways  that work for you and being sure of who you are and what you have to offer as you do what works for you.  One size  does not fit all and we all have different strengths,  personalities,  and life situations that make it very important to  take into consideration when deciding what we need.  I  think you have to trust your gut in so many ways and make the choices that  seem best to you.  Getting  advice and opinions and solid information about what's available and what others have done are all helpful, but you have to know yourself and make these very personal decisions based on what you know of you and   your particulars.          

Okay, I'm done.  Time to get ready to go do the work I spent all that time and energy preparing for.  And yes, be prepared.  Counseling is hard work mentally, emotionally, and  in all ways.  It is rewarding, too, though. It is rarely boring and I am always learning and  being challenged.    

Best wishes as you move forward.
Carmella Broome EdS LPC LMFT
cdbroome at att.net
Professional  Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist at Crossroads Counseling Center, group practice in Lexington SC
http://CounselorCarmella.WordPress.com
Author of Carmella's Quest: Taking On College Sight Unseen (Red Letter Press 2009)
http://CarmellasQuest.WordPress.com
http://CarmellasQuest.LiveJournal.com