[humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy

Sat Nov 8 14:20:49 UTC 2014

Good morning, Alyssa, and everyone,

Leave it open, asking them if they'd feel comfortable with that 
arrangement, giving them the option of declining. It can form a bond, 
don't you think?
for today, Car

  At 06:53 AM 10/5/2014, Alyssa Munsell via humanser wrote:
>Thank you, everyone, for your feedback. These are all excellent ideas!
>
>JD- How successful has it been for you ask clients to guide you places or
>help you do something as a trust exercise? I was wondering about that
>technique myself but not sure if it would put unintentional undue
>responsibility on the client.
>
>Thanks so much everyone!
>
>Alyssa
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: JD Townsend [mailto:43210 at Bellsouth.net]
>Sent: Saturday, October 04, 2014 12:00 PM
>To: Darrel Kirby; 'Alyssa Munsell'; 'Human Services Division Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
>
>Thank you, Darrel , for this excellent post.
>
>
>JD
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Darrel Kirby via humanser
>Sent: Thursday, October 02, 2014 9:20 PM
>To: 'Alyssa Munsell' ; 'Human Services Division Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
>Excellent question and even better answers. My experience has revealed that
>blindness as a therapist is one of my greatest tools. Firstly, I have heard
>from many therapists that silence is a skill that takes time to develop. I
>would not panic about having some difficulty with it.
>
>Secondly, I find, now serving as a practicum instructor, that students do
>not permit clients enough time to think about the questions asked. My
>students and supervisors who observe me have provided feedback that they
>cannot believe how comfortable I am with silence. No matter what is
>happening, I thinkit is part of my job responsibility to create the space
>for clients to think, feel, do, and say whatever necessary for them at the
>time. It takes time to dive deep and I do not want my clients talking if
>they are busy diving.
>
>Thirdly, like others have mentioned, I distinguish between silence that is
>communicating a very loud message, and that ambiguous silence. If things are
>going well and I suddenly experience silence, I either use humor to remind
>them I cannot see their non-verbals or I use immediacy to ask what they are
>thinking or feeling right now. If I get the sense that my client is angry
>and the silence is a passive-aggressive attempt to punish me or a family
>member, I, being a cognitive-behavioral therapist, might suggest asking, "I
>can feel your anger and anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion, but I have
>to wonder if what you are telling yourself right now about me/your family
>member is actually true?... What if you are telling yourself something that
>is making you mad and it isn't even true... or maybe it is true"
>
>All of these situations depend upon client hx and are case sensitive. I do
>not work with children, but all of the examples of getting people to talk
>are great. I like, "What do you do for fun?" "favorite movie, book, song,
>artist?" "Who is your hero or who do you respect/value."
>
>And back to that idea that blindness is a tool... I think we create the
>space for people to take off their masks and get honest with themselves. I
>have had clients tell me that not seeing them provides a sense of safety. I
>also think blindness offers a chance to demonstrate "solution-focused"
>approaches to problems, over-coming adversity, the power of
>attitude/thinking, and modeling healthy communication. Communication is the
>sending and receiving of messages. As blind people we do not always get the
>non-verbals, but we are still responsible for clarifying that the messages
>we send are received by others. We must also clarify that the messages we
>receive are the messages others are trying to send. Encouraging, by
>necessity, our clients to use their words helps with emotional expression
>and practicing effective communication.
>
>I hope these suggestions are helpful
>
>Darrel Kirby
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: humanser [mailto:humanser-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alyssa
>Munsell via humanser
>Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 6:27 PM
>To: humanser at nfbnet.org
>Subject: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
>Hi everyone!
>
>
>
>I hope this message finds you all well. I have a question for those of you
>who practice mental health therapy. I've been doing therapy for my final
>year internship, and I am noticing that I'm not comfortable when there is a
>long period of silence between my clients and I. This is because I'm not
>able to see their body language well, and therefore, am having a hard time
>assessing whether or not the silence is productive. As you probably already
>know, silence can be powerful and necessary in therapy, so I don't want to
>diminish it. However, without being able to see non-verbal cues about what's
>going on with the person (e.g. they're just thinking or looking at me to say
>something), it is hard for me to know what to do. I was wondering what you
>all do in those types of situations.
>
>
>
>Any feedback would be immensely appreciated.
>
>
>
>Thanks so much,
>
>
>
>Alyssa
>
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>
>JD Townsend LCSW
>Helping the light dependent to see.
>Daytona Beach, Earth, Sol System
>
>
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