[humanser] Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

[Sarah Meyer]

Hello!

I hope everyone is doing well!
I am writing to see if anyone on this list either does couples therapy
using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) or knows of any blind
clinicians using this model. If you use EFFT working with families or
process experiential therapy with individuals, I would be interested
in hearing from you as well.

I am currently taking a summer class on EFT and have quickly fallen in
love with the attachment-based, emotion-focused approach for treating
couple distress. I have not yet had the privilege of working with
couples but am hoping an opportunity will present itself in my
internship.

I've become confident in my abilities to connect with and track
clients' emotional experiences in individual therapy as well as group
therapy by listening to not just the content of what is spoken, but to
the tone, rate of speech, inflection, breathing, shifting in the seat,
etc. I've noticed from reading and observing EFT sessions that EFT
therapists pay much more attention to the most subtle of nonverbal
cues and use those as avenues for processing in the here-and-now, more
so than other modalities I've studied. I'd like to think I'm very
perceptive, but there have definitely been videos wherein the
therapist comments on a subtle shift in emotional experiencing in one
of the partners that I definitely could not detect by listening.
Granted, there might be the possibility that I could pick up on more
cues when in close proximity to the clients (e.g., sitting in the same
room rather than relying on an audio recording).

For example, a therapist will ask a client, "What just happened right
here? You were sharing your fear of rejection and suddenly you
clenched your jaw and your face went hard and still." In a similar
example as this, the client had continued speaking but his tone hadn't
changed.

Another example: a Therapist will ask a partner to share his/her
impressions/reactions to what the other partner has shared. Sometimes
this happens as the therapist responds to the listening partner
becoming noticeably agitated or flooded; in some cases, the listening
partner may be protesting/defending audibly, while in others, the
partner may "zone out" or look out the window. In some cases, the
listener is simply listening very attentively but from a place of
silence. In all instances, the therapist has to be on the lookout for
signs of flooding, withdrawal, disassociating, etc. If you practice
EFT, how do you catch these very subtle cues of withdrawal if they are
not audible?

One therapist commented on how a client was holding his hands and
created a powerful metaphor and connected this to the underlying
emotion and attachment needs.

These are just a few examples and I'm wondering how others have
addressed or overcome any potential obstacles of missing very subtle
nonverbal emotional expression, whether in individual, couples,
family, or group therapy.

Also, while I'm confident that I am still able to conceptualize and
reflect the emotional significance moment by moment in a session as a
blind therapist, what do we do with the reality that commenting on
these subtle cues is incredibly meaningful for clients? To have a
therapist say to a client, "I see you; I see that subtle moistening in
your eyes; I see that look of fear in your eyes" can be so validating
and empathic. These kinds of statements really help to heighten,
deepen, and evoke emotional experiencing for clients. What are other
ways we can evoke and heighten these emotional experiences if we can't
see the very subtle shifts in emotional expression?

All the best,

Sarah

-- 
Sarah K. Meyer
Graduate Student, Clinical Mental Health Counseling
Ball State University
sarah.meyer55 at gmail.com
(317)402-6632

The National Federation of the Blind knows that blindness is not the
characteristic that defines you or your future. You can live the life
you want; blindness is not what holds you back. Together with love,
hope, and determination, we transform dreams into reality.