[il-talk] FW: Article from National Federation of the Blind ofNebraska THE NEBRASKA INDEPENDENT 2010 11 01

[Edwin Rodriguez]

And the point? stop stop stop!

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Robert A.Hansen" <roberthansen33 at yahoo.com>
Sent: November 01, 2010 9:48 AM
To: <il-talk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [il-talk] FW: Article from National Federation of the Blind 
ofNebraska THE NEBRASKA INDEPENDENT 2010 11 01

>
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> -----Original Message-----
> From: "robertHansen1970 at gmail.com" <roberthansen1970 at gmail.com>
> Sent: Mon, 01 Nov 2010 07:26:21 Pacific Daylight Time
> To: roberthansen33 at yahoo.com, mikegillenkirk at talkamerica.net, 
> don.gillmore at gmail.com
> Subject: FW: Article from National Federation of the Blind of Nebraska THE 
> NEBRASKA INDEPENDENT 2010 11 01
>
>
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>
>
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>
>
> -----Original Message-----
>
> From: "NFB-NEWSLINE Online" <nfbnewsline at nfb.org>
>
> Sent: Mon, 01 Nov 2010 05:35:04 Pacific Daylight Time
>
> To: "Robert Hansen" <roberthansen1970 at gmail.com>
>
> Subject: Article from National Federation of the Blind of Nebraska THE 
> NEBRASKA INDEPENDENT 2010 11 01
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> By Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter.
>
>
>
>
>
> Megan and Rick stood facing each other.
>
> This moment had been a long time coming, building into a crescendo that 
> neither could stop.
>
> Both were not sure when the change occurred or who was to blame, but both 
> knew Ricks failing eyesight would lead them to this point eventually.
>
> The fact was, though, they were at an impasse, no longer willing to hide 
> the truth or even gloss it over with pretended hopes and reluctant smiles.
>
>
>
> So you are leaving?
>
> Just gone, like that, Rick said.
>
> He stood gripping the second-hand kitchen chair bought three years ago at 
> a thrift store in Kentucky.
>
>
>
> Rick had never been enthusiastic about spending hours in what seemed to 
> him junk stores.
>
> Megan had a passion for what she called antiquing and Rick eventually 
> loved to go on these excursions just to watch her grow excited over a 
> plastic doll reminiscent of a 1960s airline stewardess.
>
>
>
> Megan faced the window that over looked the mock prairie Rick and she had 
> worked on over the last ten years.
>
> Megan and Rick were both ecologist and enjoyed spending their spare time 
> working on the land they purchased together after Rick asked her to move 
> in.
>
> They had met twelve years earlier when Rick, head of his department, had 
> hired Megan at the state park they worked for.
>
> They had both felt an instant connection over the animals each tenderly 
> cared for.
>
>
>
> So our relationship is a game?
>
> Rick narrowed his eyes, trying to make out her expression.
>
>
>
> Dont put words in my mouth.
>
>
>
> What is it?
>
> Is there someone else?
>
> Am I not enough?
>
>
>
> Weve grown apart.
>
> Dont you feel it?
>
> I love you, but I think this is going nowhere.
>
>
>
> Is it because I dont see well?
>
>
>
> Ricks growing uneasiness with his diminishing vision was becoming a 
> constant point of contention between him and Megan.
>
> He second guessed everything, as though her only reason for staying with 
> him was pity.
>
>
>
> Rick.
>
> She rubbed her forehead.
>
>
>
> Tell me, I want to know.
>
> You are leaving because I am losing my vision.
>
>
>
> Even though Rick could not make out her expression with his failing sight, 
> Megan looked away.
>
> She didnt want to say the words.
>
> She knew when she met Rick that his Retinitis Pigmentosa would eventually 
> leave him totally blind.
>
> She accepted this fact a long time ago, but Rick hadnt.
>
> Megan watched year after year as he struggled more and more to adjust and 
> function.
>
> He refused to seek help of any kind.
>
> Last year Megan suggested after his thirty-sixth birthday he take time to 
> receive training just to learn a few skills, but that conversation quickly 
> ended.
>
> She tried to support him and live in the oblivion as well, but she couldnt 
> do it anymore.
>
>
>
> Tell me the truth.
>
>
>
> Please, let it just be over with.
>
>
>
> You think I want to be this way?
>
> I didnt ask for this and I cant help it.
>
> You are like everyone else.
>
> You pity me, but you dont want to help me.
>
>
>
> Its not like that, Megan screamed, Its not your blindness or vision 
> impairment or whatever you call it.
>
> Do you really want to hear me say it?
>
> You are such a masochist, Rick.
>
> It is you who wont help yourself.
>
>
>
> What?
>
> Rick stepped back as though Megan had hit him.
>
> He rubbed his forearm as he hung his head.
>
>
>
> You act like your life is over so why do I want to be apart of that?
>
> You expect me to understand this, but you dont try to understand it.
>
>
>
> So you are tired of dealing with my sight problem.
>
>
>
> No, I am tired of dealing with you, Rick.
>
>
>
> Megan grew hot as the words gushed from her.  .
>
> This could not be turned back from and her mingled sense of fear and joy 
> made her aware of the possibilities.
>
> She could breathe for once, no longer watching Rick live in denial.
>
> She could move on with her life, and not worry about if Rick was okay.
>
>
>
> Rick was breathing deeply, not just from anger, but fear.
>
> He was trying to concentrate on the argument at hand but thoughts kept 
> coming to the surface like bubbles under water.
>
> How would he get around?
>
> Who would help him?
>
> A panic rose up making his voice shrill.
>
>
>
> Then leave, just leave!
>
> A garbled sound came from his throat and he blinked his eyes in a quick 
> succession.
>
>
>
> Promise me one thing.
>
> Move on from this.
>
> Do what needs to be done.
>
> This isnt the end, Rick.
>
> Megan moved to put her hand on his arm, but Rick yanked his arm away.
>
>
>
> Your leaving wont be the end of me.
>
> Rick folded his arms across his bulk, and jutted his chin like a child.
>
>
>
> I didnt mean me leaving was the end, Rick.
>
>
>
> Megan left him standing there.
>
> If she turned to look at him her resolve might break.
>
> The home they shared for so long whipped by in a blur as Megan rushed out.
>
> As she opened the car door tears streamed down her cheeks.
>
>
>
> Rick sat on the couch as the panic gushed to the surface; it paralyzed 
> him.
>
> He wanted to run after Megan, but once he left the front door what would 
> he do?
>
> What if he approached the wrong person?
>
> Could he even make it down the sidewalk without tripping on something?
>
> Instead he sat there, silent and unmoving, alone in his imagined darkness.
>
>
>
>
>
> Megan started from sleep as the phone rang.
>
> The digital alarm clock read seven oclock in the morning.
>
> She rolled out of bed, stepped into her Yogi Bear slippers and shuffled to 
> the living room.
>
>
>
> Hello, Megan mumbled.
>
>
>
> Megan?
>
> Its Carly.
>
> Ricks sister.
>
>
>
> Megan had had no contact with Rick or his family since the break-up.
>
> She had even asked for a transfer to another department at the national 
> park, Land Between the Lakes, she and Rick worked for.
>
>
>
> Oh, hey, what is it?
>
> Megan bit her lower lip.
>
>
>
> Hon, its Rick.
>
> He broke his leg and its pretty bad.
>
>
>
> Megan sat up and brushed the dark curls out of her face.
>
> Is he okay?
>
> What happened?
>
>
>
> He was in the yard cleaning stuff up, and he stepped into a hole.
>
> It broke from the knee-cap down.
>
>
>
> Megan cringed.
>
>
>
> He has to have surgery.
>
> My parents are on their way down, but I thought you would want to know, 
> Carly said.
>
>
>
> Yeah, thanks.
>
>
>
> Megan, I am real sorry about what happened.
>
> He needs you there though.
>
> He needs someone to look out for him.
>
>
>
> Megan stared at the brochures for the Louisiana Center for the Blind 
> program.
>
> She had broke-up with Rick almost a year ago, but she had not let go.
>
> Megan had spent the last few months researching training centers where 
> Rick could learn the skills and independence necessary for him to move 
> along in life.
>
> The Louisiana Center seemed progressive, but positive.
>
> She knew Rick had the potential, but he needed a nudge.
>
> Megans love for Rick was still present.
>
> She had shared a life with Rick and despite his current state of mind 
> about his blindness, she couldnt completely walk away.
>
> This is why she decided to stay at Land Between the Lakes.
>
> Deep down she hoped Rick would find the courage to face his demons.
>
>
>
> You know Carly, as long as we all ignore the problem it will only get 
> worse.
>
>
>
> There was a long silence in which Megan wished she had not said anything.
>
> It was enough to have left Rick, but it was not like her to cause tension.
>
>
>
> It is not so easy.
>
> We cant just dump him, Carly said.
>
>
>
> Megan sighed.
>
> He wont ever learn if we treat him like a baby.
>
>
>
> Look, I just thought you would want to know.
>
> I know Rick would want you with him.
>
>
>
> Thanks.
>
> I do appreciate it.
>
>
>
> Megans vision smeared into swirling colors as tears filled her eyes.
>
> She couldnt help wonder if this was what Ricks vision was like.
>
>
>
> Rick had always been open and honest with Megan, but in the months leading 
> to the break-up he had grown sullen.
>
> He refused to talk to Megan about anything deep, and of course the topic 
> of blindness was off the table.
>
> The day Rick asked her to move in had been one of the happiest days of her 
> life.
>
> The memory was fond, but only made Megan ache more.
>
>
>
> The nature station where Megan and Rick worked had a large commons room 
> used for presentations, and once a year a banquet was held encouraging 
> government officials to budget funds for Land Between the Lakes.
>
> The room had a massive French door leading out into the parks garden.
>
> Rick had taken Megan to the park one night.
>
> Megan was unsure of what to expect, and was surprised when Rick opened the 
> French doors to a candle-lit-table for two.
>
> It was a June evening and the garden was in full bloom.
>
> The scent of wild flowers wafted through the warm air.
>
>
>
> Rick took Megan by the hand and led her to the table.
>
> Do you like it?
>
>
>
> Oh Rick, this is beautiful.
>
>
>
> The small table was laid with Megans favorite foods.
>
> Roast lamb with mint, garlic roasted Red potatoes, cucumber-tomato salad 
> and strawberries and cream.
>
> The only other light besides the candles on the table came from the lit 
> walk-ways in the garden.
>
>
>
> Later they had strolled through the grounds, talking hand-in-hand, partly 
> because in the dark Rick could see nothing and needed a guide.
>
> Rick asked her to move in as they stood at the edge of the lake.
>
> Megan was always hesitant about moving in.
>
> She had always taken their relationship slow, but she could not deny the 
> love she felt, and the natural progression was to move in with Rick.
>
>
>
> Sharing that much of her life was a new experience for Megan, but one she 
> had grown to enjoy.
>
> Then Rick began losing more vision.
>
> It was small things at first.
>
> Not noticing objects right in front of him.
>
> He had to rely more on large print when reading.
>
> It progressed though.
>
> Megan knew how difficult it was for him, but Rick was becoming closed off.
>
> Finally, Megan could no longer take the self-pity.
>
> Megan had to be honest too; she enjoyed the freedom of not constantly 
> thinking what she had to do for Rick.
>
> She hated herself for thinking this way, but it was relief to only have to 
> do things for herself.
>
>
>
> Megan stood and wiped her eyes.
>
> She wasnt sure if she could be strong for Rick anymore.
>
> That was why she left.
>
> Her heart reached out for him though.
>
> She wanted to be by his side.
>
> The situation was confusing and Megan stomped off towards the shower as 
> she chewed around what to do in her mind.
>
> She resisted the urge to call Rick.
>
> She was worried, but she wasnt sure if he really wanted to hear from her.
>
> As much as she still cared, being with Rick was a headache, and Megan knew 
> a lot had to change before either one could move forward together.
>
>
>
> Megan sighed as the warm water hit her face.
>
> She closed her eyes and tried to lose herself in thoughts other than Rick.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Ricks mother, Emily, adjusted the pillows and blanket.
>
> She buzzed around the room, refusing to sit down.
>
> Greg, his father, sat in a blue vinyl recliner in the corner reading a 
> newspaper.
>
>
>
> Emily, sit down for Christ sakes, Greg said from behind his paper.
>
>
>
> Greg and Emily drove up from their horse ranch in Arizona where Rick grew 
> up at.
>
> Rick knew his parents would be the first to insist on taking the trek to 
> Kentucky to be with Rick.
>
>
>
> Do you need anything, Rick?
>
> Emily asked.
>
>
>
> If the boy needs something he will tell you, Greg said.
>
>
>
> I am fine, Mother, Rick said.
>
>
>
> You should eat something, Emily said.
>
>
>
> Em, he cant eat right after surgery, Greg sighed.
>
>
>
> Do you want me to read a magazine to you?
>
> Emily asked.
>
>
>
> Thats okay, Rick said.
>
>
>
> Well, you shouldnt have been outside alone.
>
> You really need a roommate or companion, Emily said.
>
>
>
> Rick tightened his jaw.
>
> He picked at the nubs on the blue hospital blanket.
>
> Everything in the damned room was blue.
>
>
>
> What he needs is to use a cane, Greg said.
>
>
>
> Emily gave Greg a sharp look.
>
> Oh, Rick doesnt need stuff like that.
>
> She patted Ricks arm.
>
>
>
> Greg put his paper down and stretched.
>
> All I am saying is that he may benefit from certain things.
>
> Like those canes or Braille.
>
>
>
> He is not blind, Greg.
>
>
>
> No, I am not, Rick said.
>
>
>
> Then what do you call it?
>
> Greg stood and strode from the room.
>
>
>
> Rick stared at the white ceiling.
>
> The florescent glow from the hallway hurt his eyes, but he didnt want to 
> ask anyone to close the door.
>
> He was still groggy from the anesthetic, and his leg was beginning to hurt 
> again.
>
> The pain was traveling from his knee and grew in intensity as it went 
> further along.
>
> He couldnt roll over, or get out of bed.
>
> He was stuck.
>
>
>
>
>
> Megan stood in front of the faded yellow Ranch-style house that had once 
> been hers and Ricks.
>
> She played with the hem of her white polo as she decided if she should go 
> in or not.
>
> It had been a couple of weeks since Ricks accident, and this was the third 
> time Megan tried to contact him.
>
> She took a deep breath, walked to the door and knocked.
>
>
>
> A woman Megan did not recognize at first opened the door.
>
> The womans dark, brown hair was pulled back, and she wore denim Bermuda 
> shorts and a Garth Brooks t-shirt.
>
> Megan recognized the shirt first as she had bought it for Rick seven years 
> ago when they had gone to a concert.
>
>
>
> Megan?
>
> Emily asked.
>
>
>
> Emily, I didnt think you would still be here.
>
>
>
> Someone has to take care of Rick.
>
> Listen, I should tell you some things first.
>
>
>
> Emily shut the door as she stood out on the porch.
>
> She crossed her arms over her ample chest.
>
> Megan chewed on a finger nail.
>
>
>
> The house is a disaster, Emily said.
>
>
>
> What?
>
>
>
> I think things are getting bad, you know.
>
> When we got here we couldnt believe it all.
>
> I think he needs some help, but I dont know what to do.
>
>
>
> Have you said this to Rick?
>
>
>
> We dont want to hurt his feelings.
>
> I was thinking Greg and I would pay a professional cleaner to come in once 
> a week, but I dont know what to do about other stuff.
>
> Are they taking it easy on him at work?
>
>
>
> Megan knew that Ricks parents had the financial ability to care for him, 
> but it wouldnt solve anything.
>
>
>
> Emily, you cant do everything for him forever.
>
> He needs to grow up.
>
>
>
> Its not that simple, Megan.
>
>
>
> Yes it is.
>
> Can I please see Rick?
>
>
>
> Alright, but dont upset him.
>
> He is in the backyard.
>
>
>
> Megan gasped as she walked into the house.
>
> It looked like something out of a movie.
>
> Nature had decided to take up residence inside the house.
>
> Dust coated every surface.
>
> An intricate spider-web began in the middle of the ceiling on the fan and 
> spread to the four corners.
>
> Megan moved into the kitchen where dirty dishes piled in the sink and 
> overflowed onto the counters.
>
> Food littered the floor and a line of marching ants streamed from some 
> unknown place.
>
>
>
> Megan took in deep breaths.
>
> She turned and glared at Emily.
>
> You dont want to hurt his feelings, but you will let him live in squalor?
>
>
>
> Emilys mouth gapped open.
>
> If you hadnt left him this wouldnt have happened.
>
>
>
> No, if you all would realize that Rick needs training and stop acting like 
> he was a child this wouldnt have happened.
>
>
>
> Megan knew what was possible for those with blindness.
>
> She had read about people with jobs, real jobs, who were blind.
>
> There were even a few blind doctors.
>
> She had found information with stories about blind parents.
>
> All this and more was accomplished because they chose to learn a few 
> things like Braille and white cane travel.
>
> Most importantly they had gained an independent mind-set.
>
> What was it in the brochures?
>
> With training and a positive attitude blindness can be reduced to a mere 
> physical inconvenience that was it.
>
>
>
> The help Rick needs is not from a caretaker, Emily.
>
>
>
> Megan left Emily standing in the kitchen.
>
>
>
> Rick sat in a lawn chair with his broken leg propped up on a wood crate.
>
> He had gained a few more pounds, and his hairline was crawling farther 
> back.
>
>
>
> Mind if I sign that thing?
>
> Megan asked.
>
>
>
> Rick moved forward, but realized he couldnt jump up.
>
> Megan.
>
>
>
> Megan pulled a chair up next to him.
>
> I thought you needed a friend.
>
>
>
> Rick stared out into the yard.
>
> I thought I completely lost you.
>
>
>
> Rick, you never lost me, but I lost you.
>
> Megan gently held his hand.
>
> The familiar touch brought her emotions rushing, but she knew this was no 
> time for tears.
>
>
>
> Rick broke down instead.
>
> He took large gulps of air as though he were drinking.
>
> I dont know what to do.
>
>
>
> I know, but I do.
>
> She smiled.
>
>
>
> How could you ever want to be with me?
>
> How could anyone?
>
>
>
> I will tell you how.
>
> Once this leg is healed go get that training.
>
>
>
> Megan.
>
>
>
> Look, your method is not working anymore.
>
> There is no reason for you to have limitations.
>
> I can help you do this.
>
>
>
> I dont know.
>
>
>
> Heres the thing, Rick.
>
> I still love you, but I wont enable you.
>
> I want to help and I want to be with you, but you need to get over this.
>
> Megan cupped his chin and turned his face towards her.
>
> You have to do it for you though.
>
>
>
> Rick focused on the two shadows he knew were her eyes.
>
> He had longed for a year to see Megan again.
>
> His heart was thudding.
>
> He laughed suddenly.
>
>
>
> Megan wore a puzzled expression.
>
> What?
>
>
>
> Its just your face.
>
>
>
> Thanks.
>
>
>
> No, I mean, you look like a Picasso painting.
>
> There are holes where your eyes are; your mouth looks cherry red, and 
> there is no nose.
>
>
>
> Megan gazed at Rick then she started chuckling.
>
> They both were wiping tears from their eyes, but this time from laughter.
>
>
>
> Rick grew quiet for a moment.
>
> It wont be easy.
>
>
>
> Nothing is.
>
>
>
> Rick looked at her.
>
> Thanks.
>
>
>
> They sat in silence as they watched the sun set.  .
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
>
>
> The NFB-NEWSLINE® Team.
>
>
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