[il-talk] Proving your blindness

Wed Feb 24 02:44:44 UTC 2016

  To Debbie and my Federation Family,
  Tonight I attended a sea food buffet dinner with friends and asked a
member of our country club wait staff to assist me.  Maark could not have
been more poised and helpful.  Twice he helped me with my salad and main
course choices.  It is so refreshing to have assistance offered and have it
work out so easily as it should always.  

					Cathy Randall

-----Original Message-----
From: il-talk [mailto:il-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
pattischang--- via il-talk
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 8:29 PM
To: NFB of Illinois Mailing List
Cc: pattischang at gmail.com
Subject: Re: [il-talk] Proving your blindness

I really think the string would make a good newsletter article. I like the
varying opinions. We all experience the frustration and have different ideas
about it. Well I agree that one should endeavor to never lose one's temper,
I also think we have to forgive ourselves if we are imperfect. I have not
lost my temper in  years but I like the public tend to remember the
occasions when that happens as opposed to the hundreds of occasions when I
am calm cool and collected.

Live the life you want.  Every day we raise the expectations of blind
people in the National Federation of the Blind.

Patti S. Gregory-Chang
NFBI Treasurer
NFB Scholarship Comm. Chair
Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 16, 2016, at 6:51 PM, Deborah Kent Stein via il-talk
<il-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:

Unfortunately we all have stories like this. The other day when I boarded
the Blue Line at Harlem Avenue, the conductor came over to me and said that
he couldn't close the door until I told him the stop where I intended to get
off. It was about 4 above zero. I was so nonplused all I could do was repeat
his preposterous statement - I said, "You can't close the door until I tell
you where I'm going?" He assured me that this was indeed the case. By then
I'm certain we had the attention of everybody in the car, because it was
freezing in there, but I wasn't about to tell him where I was going. I had
to say, "I'm fine," "I'll be okay," etc. at least three times before he
finally marched off muttering, "I was only trying to help!" and closed the
door. 

This is not typical of my experience on CTA; I just ran into a problem
conductor. But it is typical of a certain kind of encounter where a person
feels compelled to do something when they see me. I don't believe they think
it through at all; they just see a blind person and somehow the idea that
the situation calls for new rules and exceptional behaviors kicks in. It can
be a real challenge to keep one's temper, but if we lose it, that's what the
witnesses around us are likely to remember, which is why we occasionally
need to vent in forums like this one. Thanks for listening!

Debbie S.

-----Original Message-----
From: il-talk [mailto:il-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
pattischang--- via il-talk
Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 5:49 PM
To: Leslie Hamric <lhamric930 at comcast.net>
Cc: pattischang at gmail.com; NFB of Illinois Mailing List <il-talk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [il-talk] Proving your blindness

This reminds me of the security screening I went through yesterday. I was
ready to go through the metal detector and the security personnel started to
insist that I stick up my hand so that he could manhandle me through the
system. When I refused of course I got the I was  only trying to assist. I
really want to know sometimes why people think that they know better than I
do how to manage my blindness.  If he wants to explain the NTSA policies
that is one thing but I have a little more experience managing blindness
than he does.

This is part of why I think that we get the you have too much attitude
response. I honestly think that people feel they know best.

Live the life you want.  Every day we raise the expectations of blind people
in the National Federation of the Blind.

Patti S. Gregory-Chang
NFBI Treasurer
NFB Scholarship Comm. Chair
Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 16, 2016, at 5:33 PM, Leslie Hamric <lhamric930 at comcast.net> wrote:

Maybe were taught to sit back and wait because if we try to get it
ourselves, we will knock stuff over. Or we might make a mess of the table
because we don't know where anything is, things like that. I'll give you an
example. Before I went to Northern, I was convinced that I could not defrost
my own refrigerator. I was convinced by my dad that I had to wait for him to
do it. It was a mini fridge like what you have in your dorm room. Will Linn
Sorge got a hold of me. And she said there's absolutely no reason why I
couldn't do it myself. And she told me how to defrost the fridge. I went
ahead and did it and it was easier than I thought. My dad also had me
convinced that I could not hook up my own computers are taking apart.
Well,Linn had a talk with me again. She actually suggested I label my
computer and I labeled the cord so I know what went with what. So that
started the normal practice of me setting up my own computer and taking it
apart. My dad was literally shocked I could do all these things by myself.
And so was I. I remember thinking, what was that I shown how to do this
sooner? But like most of us, I had a drummed into my head all these years
that I had to ask for help for so much stuff, a lot more than what I
actually needed.when I was at Northern, I insisted on Learning how to change
a string on my cello so if one broke while I was practicing, I would be able
to take care of it and MoveOn. My teacher was all for it. So we spent a
lesson one day working on changing strings. Are your later, I noticed that
one of my strings was on its way to breaking and I decided to change it
during one of my practice sessions. I had the envelopes for each string came
labeled in braille so I knew what was what. I was able to take care of it
with no problems at all. Sure, I could've had somebody do it for me, but
cited cellists  are expected to change their own strings  and why shouldn't
I be expected to tdo the same? One last example, Michael had gone to
preschool one day last year and unknowingly, had a rash all over his his
body. I had no idea that he had a rash because it was not tactile. the
school first called me, and my cell phone was in accessible of the time so
then they called  my friend Sarah   and Sarah want to come pick Michael up
right away they wanted my friend Sara to get him right away without
consulting me that Sarah held firm. She said she wasn't going to do anything
until she talk to me first. Sero-was next in line and my emergency contact
list. The two of us connected and we went over to get Michael. But Sara did
not go in with me. Because she wanted the nurse to deal with me directly.
Do you know what the nurse Ask me? Why didn't  your husband tell you that
your son had a rash? I just said since it was not tactile, I wouldn't know
because I couldn't see it. And over the years, I've also gotten the very
familiar: don't be so touchy! People are just trying to help you. The
problem is, they're helping me the way they think I need it not what I need.
Leslie She didn't like that answer but  I don't care.

Sent from my iPhone

> On Feb 16, 2016, at 3:59 PM, pattischang at gmail.com wrote:
> 
> I'm not sure how to express my thoughts on this. But, I do believe 
> that
there's a basic expectation that we should be grateful for any and all
assistance and we should not be assertive. This comes across in many ways.
It comes across in people's comments but it also comes across every time
someone says please honey you just sit and I will get it for you. I would
love to hear others' thoughts on this. It might even make a good article for
our newsletter.
> 
> Along similar lines, it concerns me that some of us seem to be more
passive than is needed. In other words are we taught to sit back and wait?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Live the life you want.  Every day we raise the expectations of blind
people in the National Federation of the Blind.
> 
> Patti S. Gregory-Chang
> NFBI Treasurer
> NFB Scholarship Comm. Chair
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
> On Feb 16, 2016, at 2:54 PM, Leslie Hamric via il-talk
<il-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Interesting. I have been told the same thing, that  I have an attitude.
And I have not gone through an nfb  training center. But if you think of it,
it's that attitude that has  got me where I am today.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>> On Feb 16, 2016, at 2:42 PM, Robert Gardner via il-talk
<il-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> For me, a guy who once couldn't do much of anything for himself, then
went through blindness training and learned he could do just about anything,
I feel I'm proving that I can do things all the time. If I go out on a walk
or travel on the bus, part of that experience is proving to myself I can do
it. If someone says, "Can I help you with xxx," my basic reaction is I'm
going to prove to that person I can do it myself. Maybe I have an attitude,
but that's me. And I've been told those who've gone through an NFB training
center come out with an attitude. All in all, I think it's a healthy
attitude for a blind person.
>> 
>> Bob Gardner
>> 
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Leslie Hamric via il-talk"
<il-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> To: "Iltalk" <il-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: "Leslie Hamric" <lhamric930 at comcast.net>
>> Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 7:34 AM
>> Subject: [il-talk] Proving your blindness
>> 
>> 
>>> Hey guys. I have a question. I'm sure you've all been told somewhere
along the way that you spent a lot of time proving that you can do things in
spite of your blindness. How do you  react to this  statement? I think this
topic could start a good discussion.
>>> Leslie
>>> 
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>> _______________________________________________
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>> 
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> 
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