[musictlk] Question for You

[Bill]

Dear Anne,

There are not really any "cookie cutter" responses to these kinds of awkward
situations.  But I would hope that, were I in that situation, I would say
something like:
"You can tell her yourself! Hello, my name is Anne Martin."  If you say it
in a friendly tone and with a smile, you might make a friend. 

Remember, many sighted people are literally ignorant about us blind people
or anyone with any kind of disability.  I don't use the term "ignorant" here
in an insulting way.  I just mean that they simply do not know how to act or
what to do when they come in contact with us.  

When these kinds of things happen, we have a decision to make.  Do we try to
teach this ignorant person?  Do we accept the situation on their terms and
later feel remorse?  Do we blast the person with some sharp words?  I have
taken all three options at various points in my life.  On many occasions, my
better self took the first of these options.  On some, I took the second or
third approach.  In the long term, the first response, which really is the
most loving thing, has brought the best results for me and the ignorant
person.  The other person learns something and feels more comfortable with
me and perhaps with the next blind person that crosses his or her path.  I
take control of a less than ideal situation, feel better about myself, and
possibly strike up a new acquaintance that may lead to friendship.

One thing to remember: that person expressed something positive about you
albeit in a clumsy way.  There may have been other people who wanted to say
something too but couldn't even get as far as this ignorant person did.  Our
better self will extend the benefit of the doubt to someone like that and
try to encourage them, not push them away with a slap on the hand.  Again, I
am not going to sit here in my house of glass throwing stones because I have
not always responded charitably to such comments in similar situations.
But, by God's grace, I am learning all the time how to find a way to do the
loving thing.

OK, there are my two cents for you.

Bill McCann

-----Original Message-----
From: musictlk [mailto:musictlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Anne Martin
via musictlk
Sent: Saturday, June 27, 2015 5:23 PM
To: 'Music Talk Mailing List'
Cc: Anne Martin
Subject: [musictlk] Question for You

	
I have a question for you.
I am a singer, and soloist in my church.  Being that I'm blind with no
visual contact, sometimes someone will say something like "tell her I
enjoyed her music," and I'm standing right there.  I think it's because they
don't have eye contact with me.  I should probably just speak back to them
myself.  That's insulting to me, but I know it's a visual communication
barrier.
Please give me your thoughts.
Thanks,
Anne


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