[nabs-l] freinds

Tue Nov 4 03:17:35 UTC 2008

Sure it does!  I'll admit, I had many more acquaintances than best friends 
and that most of my friends had a disability of some kind, but I had many 
more friends than in high school.

Serena

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Heather Rasmussen" <vaxite at hotmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 10:09 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds

> Date: Mon, 3 Nov 2008 16:09:09 -0800> From: harryhogue at yahoo.com> To: 
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds> > Great topic, guys.  I 
> have never had really close friends, either.  Een in college, I neer 
> developed close relationships--more like people I talk to during class, 
> etc.  Part of that is my personality--I get really quiet in a group and 
> jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of people (like one or two 
> ther people).  I have joined the chess club--yes I am a nerd lol--and 
> really like it, and get along great with those folks.  I go to the Spanish 
> table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted effort.  It is 
> good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers from these 
> feelings.>  > I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the 
> real thing, not some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping. 
> Does anyone else feel this way?  If this is better addressed either off 
> list or on the sports and rec list, that's fine.  Just thinking of 
> extracurricular  activities that I would like to participate in but can't. 
> Soemthign we don't really say--but when we say that people can participate 
> equally--I don't know that it is entirely true when it comes to sports. 
> Granted I've never done it the way they migh suggest, but bowling... I see 
> no way of a totally blind person to bowl and get the same experience out 
> of it with out sighted help that diminishes the experience; likewise, beep 
> baseball and the other adapted sports.  Dont' mean to go off on something 
> I don't know much about, but I think it does fit in well with our 
> discussion of social integration and making friends, etc.  Thoughts?>  > 
> Harry> > > --- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:> > 
> From: Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds> To: 
> "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>> 
> Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM> > You are right, Carey. The 
> people in question could be too busy.> However, may I point out that my 
> younger brother, eighteen years old,> already has a girlfriend and runs 
> around everywhere with her? I am> envious of every sighted person who has 
> a significant other, and you> know why he has her? Because he can immitate 
> appropriate social> skills. I am a firm believer in having good social 
> skills as a> prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex. The key to 
> winning a> successful date and keeping that significant other is having 
> good> social skills. I have a young man in college here at FSU who is a> 
> friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've dealt with,> 
> the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had a> blind 
> student. I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue and it> just 
> makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a friend. I> admit I 
> did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted he> wouldn't give 
> up.> Beth> > On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer <carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> wrote:> > 
> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,> >> > Jordan has not had many 
> social offers himself. And he is well liked and> this> > is key-respected- 
> in class and in the extra curricular groups. I have> found> > that blind 
> people maybe especially need to be very pro-active on this. I> > told him 
> once that to eat lunch with others he needed to initiate, or to> go> > 
> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood Star,> 
> people> > were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life, as 
> a sighted> > person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my 
> friendships are because> I> > my self kept in contact. I called, I made 
> the lunch date, I invited them> > over, I remembered the birthday card. I 
> have friends from grade school> > still, but most often I am the one to 
> keep up the contact. It is often> that> > way, some people are better at 
> it. I never care or make anyone feel it> > mattered if they haven't called 
> me for three years, I don't even> listen to> > the "excuse" I just say 
> forget it, how are you now, wanna do> lunch on> > Thursday and catch up?> 
>  >> > I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness, most are 
> though> > just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in the 
> can you> walk> > the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I 
> mentioned, IF your> skill> > level and independence is not truly equal 
> that can effect. But on the> other> > hand kids know Jordan is equal to 
> them in school, I think sometimes they> > don't realize he is equally 
> independent out of school too. On the> other> > hand, he is often too busy 
> to have any free time to go out, and these days> I> > know a lot of 
> students (my husband is a high school teacher) who are high> > GPA, 
> working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and they don't> have> > 
> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he isn't,> just too> 
>  > busy!> >> >> >> > Carrie Gilmer, President> > National Organization of 
> Parents of Blind Children> > A Division of the National Federation of the 
> Blind> > NFB National Center: > 
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> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/vaxite%40hotmail.comI 
> can sympathize with all you people who don't have any friends.  I don't 
> have any either.  It's kind of my fault, because, like Karry's son, I'm so 
> busy with school that I really don't do much else right now.  Still, it's 
> kind of depressing sometimes when I hear all these kid talk about what 
> they did last weekend, or what they'll do Friday afternoon together after 
> school.  Then there's the problem that I go to a small school where anyone 
> who didn't grow there, and tinks like the do, never really fits in.  It 
> gets really lonely sometimes; some days are worse than others.  I've had 
> several people tell me that it gets better in college, because you meet 
> more people who think like you do.  Any thoughts on that?
Heather
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