[nabs-l] freinds

Tue Nov 4 19:08:28 UTC 2008

Ashley, have you gone to a concert alone? It wouldn't be any fun to go to a concert or sporting event alone to a basketball football baseball or ice hockey game you wouldn't be able to get around easily at the stadium if you were alone. Albert

> From: bookwormahb at earthlink.net
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2008 11:38:08 -0500
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>
> Beth,
>
> I'm surprised you are uncomfortable going to restaurants alone. Unless at a
> buffett you don't have to carry food to the table. Your school is weird if
> you don't have trays. Most cafeterias do. I think you should go to
> concerts or restaurants if you want to. Sometimes people are not going to
> be around to take you. Yes its more enjoyable to go to restaurants and
> concerts with friends but it is certainly possible to do alone. You should
> step out of your confort zone. On a tour bus my mom and I encountered a
> sight seer alone from London touring Boston.
> So people do do big things alone.
>
> Ashley
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Beth" 
> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
> 
> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 10:49 PM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>
>
>>I looooooove bowling. I usually get my ten frames wrth with
>> friends,but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which is
>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I don't
>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one hand
>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we don't;
>> and going to parties and such. I absolutely refuse to make an
>> appearence at anything alone. I'd rater be in a group of friends
>> because I don't want to look weird or anything.
>> Beth
>>
>> On 11/3/08, Serena  wrote:
>>> Hi Harry
>>>
>>> I'd have to disagree about adapted sports, especially bowling. I love
>>> bowling! I'll admit, I'm not that great, but who cares. All sighted
>>> people
>>> really have to do for me is help me line up so the ball will go down the
>>> middle of the lane. Also, my deaf-blind friend (I mentioned in a recent
>>> post asking about AIM) loves every sport you can imagine, including golf!
>>> He can see a little bit, but I think he mostly functions as a blind
>>> person
>>> as far as sports. If you have any specific questions you'd like me to
>>> ask
>>> him, I'm sure he'd be happy to tell me info to help someone else!
>>>
>>> Serena
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Harry Hogue" 
>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>> 
>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 7:09 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>
>>>
>>> Great topic, guys. I have never had really close friends, either. Een in
>>> college, I neer developed close relationships--more like people I talk to
>>> during class, etc. Part of that is my personality--I get really quiet in
>>> a
>>> group and jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of people (like
>>> one
>>> or two ther people). I have joined the chess club--yes I am a nerd
>>> lol--and
>>> really like it, and get along great with those folks. I go to the Spanish
>>> table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted effort. It is
>>> good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers from these
>>> feelings.
>>>
>>> I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the real thing,
>>> not
>>> some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping. Does anyone else
>>> feel this way? If this is better addressed either off list or on the
>>> sports
>>> and rec list, that's fine. Just thinking of extracurricular activities
>>> that
>>> I would like to participate in but can't. Soemthign we don't really
>>> say--but
>>> when we say that people can participate equally--I don't know that it is
>>> entirely true when it comes to sports. Granted I've never done it the way
>>> they migh suggest, but bowling... I see no way of a totally blind person
>>> to
>>> bowl and get the same experience out of it with out sighted help that
>>> diminishes the experience; likewise, beep baseball and the other adapted
>>> sports. Dont' mean to go off on something I don't know much about, but I
>>> think it does fit in well with our discussion of social integration and
>>> making friends, etc. Thoughts?
>>>
>>> Harry
>>>
>>>
>>> --- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth  wrote:
>>>
>>> From: Beth 
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>> 
>>> Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM
>>>
>>> You are right, Carey. The people in question could be too busy.
>>> However, may I point out that my younger brother, eighteen years old,
>>> already has a girlfriend and runs around everywhere with her? I am
>>> envious of every sighted person who has a significant other, and you
>>> know why he has her? Because he can immitate appropriate social
>>> skills. I am a firm believer in having good social skills as a
>>> prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex. The key to winning a
>>> successful date and keeping that significant other is having good
>>> social skills. I have a young man in college here at FSU who is a
>>> friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've dealt with,
>>> the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had a
>>> blind student. I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue and it
>>> just makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a friend. I
>>> admit I did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted he
>>> wouldn't give up.
>>> Beth
>>>
>>> On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer  wrote:
>>>> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,
>>>>
>>>> Jordan has not had many social offers himself. And he is well liked and
>>> this
>>>> is key-respected- in class and in the extra curricular groups. I have
>>> found
>>>> that blind people maybe especially need to be very pro-active on this. I
>>>> told him once that to eat lunch with others he needed to initiate, or to
>>> go
>>>> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood Star,
>>> people
>>>> were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life, as a
>>>> sighted
>>>> person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my friendships are
>>>> because
>>> I
>>>> my self kept in contact. I called, I made the lunch date, I invited them
>>>> over, I remembered the birthday card. I have friends from grade school
>>>> still, but most often I am the one to keep up the contact. It is often
>>> that
>>>> way, some people are better at it. I never care or make anyone feel it
>>>> mattered if they haven't called me for three years, I don't even
>>> listen to
>>>> the "excuse" I just say forget it, how are you now, wanna do
>>> lunch on
>>>> Thursday and catch up?
>>>>
>>>> I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness, most are
>>>> though
>>>> just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in the can you
>>> walk
>>>> the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I mentioned, IF your
>>> skill
>>>> level and independence is not truly equal that can effect. But on the
>>> other
>>>> hand kids know Jordan is equal to them in school, I think sometimes they
>>>> don't realize he is equally independent out of school too. On the
>>> other
>>>> hand, he is often too busy to have any free time to go out, and these
>>>> days
>>> I
>>>> know a lot of students (my husband is a high school teacher) who are
>>>> high
>>>> GPA, working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and they don't
>>> have
>>>> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he isn't,
>>> just too
>>>> busy!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Carrie Gilmer, President
>>>> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>> NFB National Center:
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