[nabs-l] freinds

Tue Nov 4 20:59:21 UTC 2008

Good poin, Albert.  Plus here at FSU, you've got the late-night
drunkards who hang out at the football games drinking so much they
don't get a word in edgewise.
Beth

On 11/4/08, Albert Yoo <albertyoo1 at hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> Ashley, have you gone to a concert alone? It wouldn't be any fun to go to a
> concert or sporting event alone to a basketball football baseball or ice
> hockey game you wouldn't be able to get around easily at the stadium if you
> were alone. Albert
>
>
>> From: bookwormahb at earthlink.net
>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2008 11:38:08 -0500
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>
>> Beth,
>>
>> I'm surprised you are uncomfortable going to restaurants alone. Unless at
>> a
>> buffett you don't have to carry food to the table. Your school is weird if
>> you don't have trays. Most cafeterias do. I think you should go to
>> concerts or restaurants if you want to. Sometimes people are not going to
>> be around to take you. Yes its more enjoyable to go to restaurants and
>> concerts with friends but it is certainly possible to do alone. You should
>> step out of your confort zone. On a tour bus my mom and I encountered a
>> sight seer alone from London touring Boston.
>> So people do do big things alone.
>>
>> Ashley
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Beth"
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>
>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 10:49 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>
>>
>>>I looooooove bowling. I usually get my ten frames wrth with
>>> friends,but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
>>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which is
>>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I don't
>>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one hand
>>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we don't;
>>> and going to parties and such. I absolutely refuse to make an
>>> appearence at anything alone. I'd rater be in a group of friends
>>> because I don't want to look weird or anything.
>>> Beth
>>>
>>> On 11/3/08, Serena  wrote:
>>>> Hi Harry
>>>>
>>>> I'd have to disagree about adapted sports, especially bowling. I love
>>>> bowling! I'll admit, I'm not that great, but who cares. All sighted
>>>> people
>>>> really have to do for me is help me line up so the ball will go down the
>>>> middle of the lane. Also, my deaf-blind friend (I mentioned in a recent
>>>> post asking about AIM) loves every sport you can imagine, including
>>>> golf!
>>>> He can see a little bit, but I think he mostly functions as a blind
>>>> person
>>>> as far as sports. If you have any specific questions you'd like me to
>>>> ask
>>>> him, I'm sure he'd be happy to tell me info to help someone else!
>>>>
>>>> Serena
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Harry Hogue"
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>
>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 7:09 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Great topic, guys. I have never had really close friends, either. Een in
>>>> college, I neer developed close relationships--more like people I talk
>>>> to
>>>> during class, etc. Part of that is my personality--I get really quiet in
>>>> a
>>>> group and jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of people (like
>>>> one
>>>> or two ther people). I have joined the chess club--yes I am a nerd
>>>> lol--and
>>>> really like it, and get along great with those folks. I go to the
>>>> Spanish
>>>> table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted effort. It
>>>> is
>>>> good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers from these
>>>> feelings.
>>>>
>>>> I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the real thing,
>>>> not
>>>> some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping. Does anyone else
>>>> feel this way? If this is better addressed either off list or on the
>>>> sports
>>>> and rec list, that's fine. Just thinking of extracurricular activities
>>>> that
>>>> I would like to participate in but can't. Soemthign we don't really
>>>> say--but
>>>> when we say that people can participate equally--I don't know that it is
>>>> entirely true when it comes to sports. Granted I've never done it the
>>>> way
>>>> they migh suggest, but bowling... I see no way of a totally blind person
>>>> to
>>>> bowl and get the same experience out of it with out sighted help that
>>>> diminishes the experience; likewise, beep baseball and the other adapted
>>>> sports. Dont' mean to go off on something I don't know much about, but I
>>>> think it does fit in well with our discussion of social integration and
>>>> making friends, etc. Thoughts?
>>>>
>>>> Harry
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth  wrote:
>>>>
>>>> From: Beth
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>
>>>> Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM
>>>>
>>>> You are right, Carey. The people in question could be too busy.
>>>> However, may I point out that my younger brother, eighteen years old,
>>>> already has a girlfriend and runs around everywhere with her? I am
>>>> envious of every sighted person who has a significant other, and you
>>>> know why he has her? Because he can immitate appropriate social
>>>> skills. I am a firm believer in having good social skills as a
>>>> prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex. The key to winning a
>>>> successful date and keeping that significant other is having good
>>>> social skills. I have a young man in college here at FSU who is a
>>>> friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've dealt with,
>>>> the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had a
>>>> blind student. I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue and it
>>>> just makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a friend. I
>>>> admit I did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted he
>>>> wouldn't give up.
>>>> Beth
>>>>
>>>> On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer  wrote:
>>>>> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,
>>>>>
>>>>> Jordan has not had many social offers himself. And he is well liked and
>>>> this
>>>>> is key-respected- in class and in the extra curricular groups. I have
>>>> found
>>>>> that blind people maybe especially need to be very pro-active on this.
>>>>> I
>>>>> told him once that to eat lunch with others he needed to initiate, or
>>>>> to
>>>> go
>>>>> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood Star,
>>>> people
>>>>> were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life, as a
>>>>> sighted
>>>>> person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my friendships are
>>>>> because
>>>> I
>>>>> my self kept in contact. I called, I made the lunch date, I invited
>>>>> them
>>>>> over, I remembered the birthday card. I have friends from grade school
>>>>> still, but most often I am the one to keep up the contact. It is often
>>>> that
>>>>> way, some people are better at it. I never care or make anyone feel it
>>>>> mattered if they haven't called me for three years, I don't even
>>>> listen to
>>>>> the "excuse" I just say forget it, how are you now, wanna do
>>>> lunch on
>>>>> Thursday and catch up?
>>>>>
>>>>> I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness, most are
>>>>> though
>>>>> just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in the can you
>>>> walk
>>>>> the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I mentioned, IF your
>>>> skill
>>>>> level and independence is not truly equal that can effect. But on the
>>>> other
>>>>> hand kids know Jordan is equal to them in school, I think sometimes
>>>>> they
>>>>> don't realize he is equally independent out of school too. On the
>>>> other
>>>>> hand, he is often too busy to have any free time to go out, and these
>>>>> days
>>>> I
>>>>> know a lot of students (my husband is a high school teacher) who are
>>>>> high
>>>>> GPA, working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and they don't
>>>> have
>>>>> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he isn't,
>>>> just too
>>>>> busy!
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Carrie Gilmer, President
>>>>> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>>> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>>> NFB National Center:
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