[nabs-l] freinds

Ashley Bramlett bookwormahb at earthlink.net
Tue Nov 4 22:37:56 UTC 2008


Albert,
I've gone to public places alone but not concerts that I can recall; 
although that is auditory and there is no reason why we should not and enjoy 
it.
Beth said she did not go to social events alone and my point is you can go 
to some and get something out of it.  She said

"but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which is
> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I don't
> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one hand
> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we don't;
> and going to parties and such."

It is much more fun to go to things in groups but I don't think blindness 
should stop you from going to concerts, restaurants and parties  if that is 
what you want to do.
No I have not been to a concert alone that i recall, but I did go to a play 
at school alone.  I've also gone to restaurants alone; I get tired of 
cafeteria food and the Ballston commons Mall is near.  You can easily walk 
there from the metro and buy stuff from a regular restaurant or food court. 
Some students go in groups; others go alone.
Yes I do agree that attending a sporting event such as basketball or 
baseball would not be fun alone because with the crowd and noise it is 
difficult to navigate and you cannot ask your friend what is happening then. 
However there are other events that you can do alone.  Now if Beth or anyone 
wants to go to events in groups because that is there personality that is 
fine.  But blindness should not get in the way.  I for one would like to go 
to more things like concerts or out to eat with friends but they're busy and 
most are just acquaintances, not close friends.
But I'll go to things alone to enjoy if its something I really want.

Ashley

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Albert Yoo" <albertyoo1 at hotmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 2:08 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds


>
> Ashley, have you gone to a concert alone? It wouldn't be any fun to go to 
> a concert or sporting event alone to a basketball football baseball or ice 
> hockey game you wouldn't be able to get around easily at the stadium if 
> you were alone. Albert
>
>
>> From: bookwormahb at earthlink.net
>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2008 11:38:08 -0500
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>
>> Beth,
>>
>> I'm surprised you are uncomfortable going to restaurants alone. Unless at 
>> a
>> buffett you don't have to carry food to the table. Your school is weird 
>> if
>> you don't have trays. Most cafeterias do. I think you should go to
>> concerts or restaurants if you want to. Sometimes people are not going to
>> be around to take you. Yes its more enjoyable to go to restaurants and
>> concerts with friends but it is certainly possible to do alone. You 
>> should
>> step out of your confort zone. On a tour bus my mom and I encountered a
>> sight seer alone from London touring Boston.
>> So people do do big things alone.
>>
>> Ashley
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Beth"
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>
>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 10:49 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>
>>
>>>I looooooove bowling. I usually get my ten frames wrth with
>>> friends,but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
>>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which is
>>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I don't
>>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one hand
>>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we don't;
>>> and going to parties and such. I absolutely refuse to make an
>>> appearence at anything alone. I'd rater be in a group of friends
>>> because I don't want to look weird or anything.
>>> Beth
>>>
>>> On 11/3/08, Serena  wrote:
>>>> Hi Harry
>>>>
>>>> I'd have to disagree about adapted sports, especially bowling. I love
>>>> bowling! I'll admit, I'm not that great, but who cares. All sighted
>>>> people
>>>> really have to do for me is help me line up so the ball will go down 
>>>> the
>>>> middle of the lane. Also, my deaf-blind friend (I mentioned in a recent
>>>> post asking about AIM) loves every sport you can imagine, including 
>>>> golf!
>>>> He can see a little bit, but I think he mostly functions as a blind
>>>> person
>>>> as far as sports. If you have any specific questions you'd like me to
>>>> ask
>>>> him, I'm sure he'd be happy to tell me info to help someone else!
>>>>
>>>> Serena
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Harry Hogue"
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>
>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 7:09 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Great topic, guys. I have never had really close friends, either. Een 
>>>> in
>>>> college, I neer developed close relationships--more like people I talk 
>>>> to
>>>> during class, etc. Part of that is my personality--I get really quiet 
>>>> in
>>>> a
>>>> group and jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of people 
>>>> (like
>>>> one
>>>> or two ther people). I have joined the chess club--yes I am a nerd
>>>> lol--and
>>>> really like it, and get along great with those folks. I go to the 
>>>> Spanish
>>>> table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted effort. It 
>>>> is
>>>> good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers from 
>>>> these
>>>> feelings.
>>>>
>>>> I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the real 
>>>> thing,
>>>> not
>>>> some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping. Does anyone 
>>>> else
>>>> feel this way? If this is better addressed either off list or on the
>>>> sports
>>>> and rec list, that's fine. Just thinking of extracurricular activities
>>>> that
>>>> I would like to participate in but can't. Soemthign we don't really
>>>> say--but
>>>> when we say that people can participate equally--I don't know that it 
>>>> is
>>>> entirely true when it comes to sports. Granted I've never done it the 
>>>> way
>>>> they migh suggest, but bowling... I see no way of a totally blind 
>>>> person
>>>> to
>>>> bowl and get the same experience out of it with out sighted help that
>>>> diminishes the experience; likewise, beep baseball and the other 
>>>> adapted
>>>> sports. Dont' mean to go off on something I don't know much about, but 
>>>> I
>>>> think it does fit in well with our discussion of social integration and
>>>> making friends, etc. Thoughts?
>>>>
>>>> Harry
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth  wrote:
>>>>
>>>> From: Beth
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>
>>>> Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM
>>>>
>>>> You are right, Carey. The people in question could be too busy.
>>>> However, may I point out that my younger brother, eighteen years old,
>>>> already has a girlfriend and runs around everywhere with her? I am
>>>> envious of every sighted person who has a significant other, and you
>>>> know why he has her? Because he can immitate appropriate social
>>>> skills. I am a firm believer in having good social skills as a
>>>> prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex. The key to winning a
>>>> successful date and keeping that significant other is having good
>>>> social skills. I have a young man in college here at FSU who is a
>>>> friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've dealt with,
>>>> the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had a
>>>> blind student. I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue and it
>>>> just makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a friend. I
>>>> admit I did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted he
>>>> wouldn't give up.
>>>> Beth
>>>>
>>>> On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer  wrote:
>>>>> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,
>>>>>
>>>>> Jordan has not had many social offers himself. And he is well liked 
>>>>> and
>>>> this
>>>>> is key-respected- in class and in the extra curricular groups. I have
>>>> found
>>>>> that blind people maybe especially need to be very pro-active on this. 
>>>>> I
>>>>> told him once that to eat lunch with others he needed to initiate, or 
>>>>> to
>>>> go
>>>>> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood Star,
>>>> people
>>>>> were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life, as a
>>>>> sighted
>>>>> person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my friendships are
>>>>> because
>>>> I
>>>>> my self kept in contact. I called, I made the lunch date, I invited 
>>>>> them
>>>>> over, I remembered the birthday card. I have friends from grade school
>>>>> still, but most often I am the one to keep up the contact. It is often
>>>> that
>>>>> way, some people are better at it. I never care or make anyone feel it
>>>>> mattered if they haven't called me for three years, I don't even
>>>> listen to
>>>>> the "excuse" I just say forget it, how are you now, wanna do
>>>> lunch on
>>>>> Thursday and catch up?
>>>>>
>>>>> I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness, most are
>>>>> though
>>>>> just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in the can 
>>>>> you
>>>> walk
>>>>> the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I mentioned, IF your
>>>> skill
>>>>> level and independence is not truly equal that can effect. But on the
>>>> other
>>>>> hand kids know Jordan is equal to them in school, I think sometimes 
>>>>> they
>>>>> don't realize he is equally independent out of school too. On the
>>>> other
>>>>> hand, he is often too busy to have any free time to go out, and these
>>>>> days
>>>> I
>>>>> know a lot of students (my husband is a high school teacher) who are
>>>>> high
>>>>> GPA, working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and they don't
>>>> have
>>>>> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he isn't,
>>>> just too
>>>>> busy!
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Carrie Gilmer, President
>>>>> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>>> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>>> NFB National Center:
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