[nabs-l] Ignorance, prejudice, Sighted domination and the sighted preception of sighted-blind interactions

[Jim Reed]

Hey all, 

Have you all ever stopped to think about how the sighted view their interactions with blind people?

Let me breifly tell you a story. Yesterday, I went out for a cane travel lesson undersleepshades with an older man from the local chapter. First, we walked from his house to his church and back. Then we walked from his house to the grocery store. Along the way he was pointing out different landmarks and things he uses in cane travel. We got to the store, it was warm, we had been walking for a while, and he was doing me a fovor, so I offered to by him a soda. He agreed. We were walking into the store, I offered an elbow, and he refused. Based on his refusal, I assumed he was competent to get himself around the store, so, much like I would do with as sighted companion, I took off and made a beeline for the soda coolers. I walk for about 10 seconds, then turn around, and the guy is standing in nearly the same spot as I left him, baby-steping his way towards my general direction. Seeing this, I purposely started taopping my cane so as to give him an auditory
 cue to follow. This went on for the entire time we were in the store; tap and wait, tap and wait. The other option, which I did as well, was to walk beside him. except he was walking so slow that I probably could have crawled faster than he was walking. So, in order to give him his independence, or allow him to keep his pride, self-worth, or whatever, I was forced to walk slower tham slow, and I was forced to constaintly tap my cane. I asked if it was helpful for me to tap the cane, and his answer was "couldn't hurt". What the hell does that mean? Give me an answer; yes it helps, or no it doesn't. 

But the point of this story is that by this man refusing to take an elbow, he wasn't demonstrating his independnece, what he was demonstrating is that he is not just "one of the guys" -- what he was demonstrating was that he would, more than likely, always slow me down, regardless of where we were going or what we were doing. Returning to our conversation yesterday about proving onesself, going into the grocery store was one of those times where this man had a chance to "prove himself", and he failed miserably. Mind you, he did not "fail" because he refused to take an elbow. He "failed" because he slowed me down (considerably), and he "failed" because he made me feel like a babysiter. It was quite uncomfortable for me to walk as slowly as I had to, and it was even more uncomfortable for me to do the "wait and tap" method. There were two ways this man could have "passed" this test; First, he could have refused an elbow and been able to keep up, or he
 could have taken an elbow and been able to keep up. Sure, I'd rather him refuse an elbow and keep up on his own, but it makes no differenc eto me if I have to help a friend out by providing an elbow.

So, the next time you feel the need to "prove" you are independent, stop and think about how you are affecting others. Because if your "independence" is actually negitivly affecting others, do you really think you are improving how they precieve you as an individual, or how how they precieve your skill set as it pretains to independence?

Thoughts?
Jim

"From compromise and things half done, 
Keep me with stern and stubborn pride,
And when at last the fight is won, 
... Keep me still unsatisfied." --Louis Untermeyer