[nabs-l] establishing expectations

Thu May 7 07:58:34 UTC 2009

Jedi,

You have to know something about Monmouth and Eugene for this one to 
make total sense, but the weirdest situation I've had to deal with 
involves me walking along 99 here in Monmouth.  It's a partly sunny 
day in the Pacific Northwest, and of course when the sun's out, I 
can't see squat.

So I'm walking along and I shore up my cane because I can hear 
someone walking toward me.  I don't see him.

He stops suddenly, steps widely apart, blocking the sidewalk, and he 
shouts, "NOBODY BELIEVES YOUR LIES, MAN!"

Capital W T F.

So I know I'm looking at this guy like he's insane, and the clouds 
cover the sun and I can now see what he looks like.  You guessed it:  
Long hair, a beard fuller than my own, tie die t-shirt, and khaki 
colored shorts.  He weighed about 300lb, and he was about 5 foot 8 or 
so.

I just stared at him.  He kinda moved a little, and I walked past 
him, shaking my head.

Like I said, this is Monmouth.  This guy looked like he was right out 
of Eugene, and like he'd been using too many interesting chemicals.

Joseph

On Mon, May 04, 2009 at 12:54:31AM -0400, Jedi wrote:
> Jim and All:
>
> I agree with arielle that using a white cane can offer explanations so  
> we don't have to. I also believe that the use of the long cane can also  
> limit the amount of mortifying accidents we might have For example, dr.  
> Maurer tells of the time when he took a fall into a river while walking  
> a foot bridge he couldn't see. He says that, had he used a white cane,  
> that wouldn't have been an issue. Before I started to use a white cane,  
> I was often confused. I'd run into plastic life-sized clothing models  
> and think they were real people and apologize. Some of us have taken  
> trips down stairs when lighting and contrast conditions don't meet our  
> needs. Many more of us have ran into people just outside our visual  
> range. Using the white cane and mobility skills prevents all of these  
> and allows us to travel more gracefully and confidently. For those of us 
> with vision, the white cane allows us to use our vision more  
> efficiently. Bottom line: the white cane really makes a difference both  
> on a social level and on a practical level.
>
> I would disagree with Arielle on only one point. It has been my  
> experience that sighted people react to the cane in a variety of ways  
> except just plain acceptance. In my small town, people are often curious 
> and are sometimes rude about it. Many people part like the red sea when I 
> go walking. I think the fact of less exposure makes a difference. Perhaps 
> sighted people are more accustomed to blind people in towns where there 
> are more of us. For example, blind people are nearly common place in 
> seattle and vancouver where our populations are largest. In towns like 
> these, blind people are less likely to be harassed or picked out of a 
> crowd. small towns like mine see only elderly blind people who don't get 
> out much or who use paratransit. I don't think sighted people inherently 
> accept us or are non-accepting of us. I think a large part of a sighted 
> person's acceptance (white cane or not) is a matter of exposure and 
> common sense on all of our parts. That's just my opinion for what it's 
> worth.
> Original message:
>> Hi Jim and all,
>
>> You raise  some important questions about how we can interact most
>> appropriately with members of the sighted community. While I don’t
>> have firsthand experience with the amount of usable vision you have, I
>> do have a great deal of experience using a long white cane (the “big
>> white stick” you mention) and I can say with confidence that using a
>> cane, regardless of how much vision you have, will enable your
>> interactions with sighted people to run much more smoothly and
>> gracefully. When you walk with  a white cane you can not only move
>> about more confidently (and not have to trail walls, etc.) but it is
>> clear to everyone around you that you are blind, and that for example
>> you might bump into a silent object that is above cane level or that
>> you won’t be able to follow directions given by pointing, etc. The
>> cane does a lot of the talking for you so you don’t have to have a
>> direct conversation about how you want/need to be treated. That said,
>> there still are some things that might have to be explained/taught
>> (like the best way to give directions, not dragging us around by the
>> arm, etc.) but those conversations can be had on an as-needed basis,
>> and aren’t necessary every time we meet someone new.
>
>> I also think that keeping a relaxed attitude and not worrying too much
>> about what the sighted think of us goes a long way toward establishing
>> true integration. Blindness-related accidents can be embarrassing, but
>> usually don’t give as bad of an impression as we often fear. Remember
>> that sighted people run into things, too, and that under the right
>> circumstances a little mishap can be funny rather than mortifying.
>
>> On a related note, it’s worth pointing out that we as blind people
>> usually think a lot more about blindness than the sighted people
>> around us do, since we live with it all the time. If we can learn to
>> believe that blindness isn’t a big deal and that it doesn’t
>> fundamentally change our interactions, the sighted people in our lives
>> will get that same message and blindness can become irrelevant in a
>> lot of situations. I recently started going out with a sighted guy for
>> the first time in my life, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised to
>> discover that, other than the fact that we can drive places rather
>> than taking cabs or the bus, my relationship with him really isn’t any
>> different than the relationships I’ve had with blind guys in the past.
>> Obviously this speaks to the fact that he has a positive philosophy
>> about blindness in order to be interested in dating me, but it also
>> indicates that I’ve been able to let it go and not give much thought
>> to blindness in our interactions. Same goes for my colleagues,
>> teachers and students in grad school—as long as I can pull my weight
>> and live up to my responsibilities, blindness plays only a minor role
>> in my interactions with those people as well.
>
>> I’ll add that I haven’t always felt this integrated in the sighted
>> world and I still regularly have times when I feel like the odd blind
>> outsider. But, learning from other blind people in the NFB and
>> perfecting my use of blindness skills and techniques has definitely
>> enabled me to have these kinds of relationships with sighted folks. By
>> using a long cane routinely, we can get from place to place in a way
>> that draws minimal unwanted attention and that enables us to be as
>> independent as the people around us.
>
>> Cheers
>> Arielle
>
>
>> On 5/2/09, Jim Reed <jim275_2 at yahoo.com> wrote:
>>> Hello all,
>
>>> First, Sorry about the subject title; I'm not really sure how to classify
>>> this question.
>
>>> Here goes:
>>> When you meet a new person (either in your personal or proffessional life),
>>> and you expect to have multiple encounters/interactions with this person,
>>> how do you approach letting this person know what to expect from you? In
>>> other words, to compensate for my blindness, I have developed certian
>>> behavioral tendancies that may seem odd to the "normal" person (dragging a
>>> hand along the wall, and following people (rather than walking next to
>>> them). Also, there are the blindness-related accidents (running into
>>> someone, running into furniture etc).
>
>>> This may not be an issue for those of you carrying a big white stick, but
>>> for those of use who don't, I'm sure society views our behaviors as odd, or
>>> worse yet, as drunk. So, my question is, how do you explain these behaviors
>>> to a new boss, colleegue, or friend, so that they understand what is going
>>> on, and dont become offended, confused, or "weirded out" by your actions? Or
>>> do you even bother to explain at all?
>
>>> I generally don't bother to explain these things when I meet new people, but
>>> sometimes I wonder how many possible friends I have lost as a result of them
>>> not understanding whats going on.
>
>>> Thanks,
>>> Jim
>
>>> "Ignorance killed the cat; curiosity was framed."
>
>
>
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>
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> -- 
> REspectfully,
> Jedi
>
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