[nabs-l] Help-Philosophy Question

Jedi loneblindjedi at samobile.net
Wed Apr 21 01:25:49 UTC 2010 

Jewel,

Just curious: have you given much thought to using a wheelchair or even 
a support cane with the white cane?

Respectfully,
Jedi


Original message:
> I have two cents to add to the thoughts about conforming and such...

> I often worry about taking help that is offered because I'm blind, but
> that I need because of another disability. For example, I don't need a
> sighted guide to keep up with a nurse at the doctor's office or follow
> a campus tour, but I often take the assistance of a friend to walk
> because of my balance problems. Walking on a friend's arm (or my
> boyfriend's, usually) allows me to keep my balance better, and if I
> *do* lose my balance, s/he can catch me. I make sure to still use my
> cane and make it obvious that he is *not* leading me, and sometimes we
> make a point for him to take my arm and me lead him (he has more
> vision) with the cane, because him holding my arm, while not as good
> as me holding his, still helps my balance, as he can catch me if I
> stumble, and I can lean on him as needed. But I do worry that people
> will see me getting assistance from my boyfriend or someone else (or
> accepting a stranger's arm if I'm alone) and think that I can't walk
> on my own because I'm blind and/or that all blind people need to be
> walked on the person's arm. I also hold a person's arm different than
> I would a sighted guide, with my hand around their elbow, because that
> is more sturdy, and I worry that peple will think that everyone does
> it that way, and not know how to do sighted guide right. I also do
> walking behind the person different, holding their arm more than I
> would a sighted guide, but it means that they are not doing their arm
> the right way for sighted guide, because I keep my cane out to look
> for obstacles.

> Another worry I have is that people will take my use of a folding cane
> as a sign that I am against straight canes. I'm not. I have a straight
> cane, in fact, that I use on the days when I know I will not have to
> worry about losing my balance. I *am* against telescopic canes,
> because they just suck, and always get stuck, but that's just personal
> preference. But I use a folding cane much of the time. The reason I do
> is that I use an aluminum folding cane. Aluminum is stronger than
> graphite or fibreglass, so if I am walking alone and lose my balance
> and fall forward on my white cane, my aluminum cane will not break
> under me and send me to the ground. However, I have had a fibreglass
> straight cane break under my weight when I stumbled and it sent me
> sprawling on my hands and knees. Luckily, all I got was scraps on my
> hands and kness and a big bone bruise on one knee, but I would not
> want to re-experience that, especially as a fibreglass shard could end
> up in my hand or leg. I plan on getting a guide dog within the year,
> but in the meantime, I use an aluminum folding cane or a strong
> graphite cane.

> The last concern I have is that because it is so hard for me to walk a
> lot or even stand for long, I take advantage of people's offers to get
> things for me, seat me first, and sit up close. I take advantage of
> these accommodations for my mobility issues, not for my blindness, but
> I worry that people will assume that because I need the assistance,
> all blind ppeople need it, because you know how they tend to assume
> that we're all alike *eyeroll*

> I know that my blindness is only a physical nuisance. It does not
> limit me anymore (it did when I first went blind, but I have learned
> much since then). But I have other limitations that keep me from doing
> things. As that disability is an invisible one and the blindness is
> obvious, people often assume that I am slow, clumsy, awkward, and need
> assistance because I am blind. I try to explain when I have the time,
> but I don't always have the time.

> Does anyone have suggestions on how I can show people that blindness
> is not limiting me and help them understand that blindness is not
> limiting if you have the training and tools, but that my other
> disability does limit me, but not necessarily others? I have done a
> few things, such as cooking homemade candies to bring to my support
> group for adult survivors of childhood abuse, to show them what I
> *can* do because  they were treating me like I would break. One guy
> asked who made them, and when I said I did, he said "But aren't you
> blind? How do you cook?" And I told him that "it's easy; I listen for
> the boiling and roll the candy in the sugar with my fingers. It
> doesn't take sight to cook. I cook without looking." And I think I
> gained a bit of respect from the group that way. But I stil l need
> someone's help to get to a chair (not to find it, but to walk there),
> and I still don't get up during break to get a snack because it hurts
> to walk a lot after sitting for awhile, so I ask a friend in the group
> to grab an extra snack for me.

> My two cents,
> Jewel

> On 4/20/10, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hello all,
>>   My feeling on the matter is that we can generally do better by
>> handeling things in a less confrentational manner when possible.
>> While  this is easier said than done,  I think it's worth taking  a
>> second (if possible depending on the situation)  and  try to  look at
>> what you need or  would like to get out of the situation you are in.
>>   I find it difficult to balance the  short-term solution and
>> long-term results of that  dicision made (example:if someone takes
>> one's cane on an airplane or  even in a differennt situation such as
>> somebody insisting  in helping  you across the street).
>>  Sometimes i have to ask myself, when do I make a dicision for the
>> good of other blind people, or for my  own good? Should I  take my
>> long cane  because  it somehow  better models  my comfort in blindness
>> to other people?    or should I take a telescoping cane because it's
>> easier to carry  and it  still conforms to  what is  an NFB cane?  Or,
>> do I use a folding cane because I'm feeling like it's  less likely  to
>> get broken of someone steps on it while  traveling?   The question
>> that I think is worth asking is- is there a "model positive image of
>> blindness"?  In much the same way that people tend to  look for the
>> ideal image of  gender or ethnicity, is there such an Ideal  for the
>> blind?
>>    if so, is that what we all  must conform to?   or is there a such a
>> thing as conformity in the blind community and in this case, the
>> Federation community/family?
>>   Best,
>>   Darian


>> On 4/20/10, Briley Pollard <brileyp at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Good morning,

>>> I wasn't there, so I can't speak to how your friend handled the situation.
>>> The fact of the matter is though that allowing airline personel to take
>>> our
>>> mobility aids awe frm us is, A, illegal, and B, degrading. It also sets a
>>> bad precedent for blind people that may be traveling with them in the
>>> future. That said, it is of course better to use a calm professional tone
>>> when dealing with this kind of situation. There is a quiet way to insist
>>> that our rights as blind people be respected. Also explaining the why's of
>>> a
>>> certain ideal often help. This wasn't a situation where your friend
>>> should've just "let it go" for the sake of peace, but perhaps she could've
>>> handled it in a calmer way.

>>> The Throw the Nickel principal applies more to accepting help I think than
>>> having our rights ignored. In that situation, it was better to accept the
>>> kindness of a stranger than to make a fuss. This has to do with the
>>> airplane
>>> rights of a lot of people, and while we should always be calm and
>>> professional, but sometimes confrontation is required to bring about
>>> change.

>>> Just my 10 cents.

>>> BrileyOn Apr 19, 2010, at 10:34 PM, Candice Chapman wrote:


>>>> Dear NABS members,

>>>> I recentally was in a situation where my NFB philosophy was put to the
>>>> test. I was travelling with a friend who is totally blind by airplane and
>>>> we got into a confrontational situation with the flight attendant. She
>>>> insisted upon taking my friend's straight cane, but didn't have a problem
>>>> with mine since it was teloscopic. Perhaps she assumed that storing the
>>>> straight cane would be a hazard. My friend proceeded to have a loud,
>>>> obnoxious verbal confrontation, that resulted in hold up of traffic and
>>>> embarrassment on my part. Eventually the conflict, due to time
>>>> constraint,
>>>> my friend was finally mollified and allowed to keep her cane. However I
>>>> can't help but wonder if there was a more diplomatic way to handle the
>>>> situation. It brings to mind an article by Dr. Kenneth Jernigan, perhaps
>>>> you guys know it, it's in The Master, The Mission, The Movement. The
>>>> article is titled, "Don't Throw the Nickel."

>>>> How do you think the confrontation could have been handled more
>>>> delicately? In the above article Dr.Jernigan referenced many situations
>>>> in
>>>> which you could choose your battle. Perhaps it's true that you can make a
>>>> situation worse by escalating a said situation with a sighted person,
>>>> rather than taking the high road. What are your thoughts on the art of
>>>> negotiationg NFB philosophy? What might you suggest as potential
>>>> alternatives to the above confrontation? I would like to hear all of your
>>>> thoughts on the importance of our philosophy in the lives of blind
>>>> people.


>>>> Best,
>>>> Candice Chapman

>>>> P.S. The Article is attached for your convience.
>>>> _________________________________________________________________
>>>> The New Busy is not the old busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your
>>>> inbox.
>>>> http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_3<Don't
>>>> Throw The Nickel.doc>_______________________________________________
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>> --
>> Darian Smith
>> Skype: The_Blind_Truth
>> Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
>> The National Federation of the Blind has launched a nationwide teacher
>> recruitment campaign to help attract energetic and passionate
>> individuals into the field of blindness education, and we need your
>> help!   To Get Involved  go to:
>> www.TeachBlindStudents.org

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