[nabs-l] Defining Excessively Helpful People and Interactions

[Katy Carroll]

Good point, Jedi. i didn't finish my thought in the email, but I wanted to
give points to people who didn't just grab you or something like that.

On Tue, Aug 24, 2010 at 10:00 PM, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:

> I'd still take points away for "offering an elbow." I've seen sighted
> people walk up to me, stand near me, and do this funny little chicken wing
> thing as they way "want and elbow?" or "want help?" It's a bit ridiculous.
> I'd much rather they start by asking me if want my help, hear my answer, and
> leave me alone if I don't want help or ask me how I want them to help me if
> I do.
>
> Respectfully,
> Jedi
>
>
> Original message:
>
>  I think Cindy's ideas are very good. Maybe you could have a point-system
>> to
>> incorporate how many times a blind  person is touched, the discomfort
>> scale
>> number of the blind person, the number of times the assistant would ask,
>> Are
>> you sure? (as Cindy suggested), perhaps take-away points if the assistant
>> attempts to engage in "normal" conversation, offers his/her elbow (the
>> proper sighted-guide method), etc.
>>
>
>  On Tue, Aug 24, 2010 at 9:20 PM, Cindy Bennett <clb5590 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>
>  I think some good ways to quantify over helpfulness would be to count
>>> how many times the blind person is physically touched. Also, the
>>> number of times the sighted person offering help asks something along
>>> the lines of, "are you sure?" or repeats their request to help after
>>> the blind person has clearly said no.
>>>
>>
>  Also, i think that Joe brought up a good point. Over helpfulness is a
>>> product of the helper's offers and the feelings of the one being
>>> helped, so maybe a discomfort scale, or something of the sort, could
>>> be given to the blind person after the incident. Sorry, i'm not really
>>> familiar with any specific ones, but i'm sure they're out there. I
>>> think this would be good, because some blind people honestly aren't
>>> bothered by many offers to help whereas some become frustrated. There
>>> could be a problem if the same blind person is used in simulation,
>>> because after a while, they may be not as frustrated, because it is
>>> just a study, or more frustrated because they have been put through
>>> the simulation multiple times.
>>>
>>
>  Cindy
>>>
>>
>  On 8/24/10, trising <trising at sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>>>
>>>>    I think overly helpful people grab you and pull you to wherever they
>>>> think you want to go. It is hard to get them to stop and
>>>> actually listen to your question about what restaurants or businesses
>>>> are
>>>> near so you can actually make your own choices. Others
>>>> might shout at us or talk to us very slowly, as if the synapses in our
>>>> brains must take a while to fire. Others ask our companions
>>>> what we want for lunch or give them our change. When a person asks a
>>>>
>>> friend
>>>
>>>> or family member what I want as if I am not there, I
>>>> answer as if I am not there either by saying something like, "She wants
>>>> a
>>>> large Coke without ice and some fish and chips." As soon
>>>> as they talk to me, I stop talking as if I am not there because it
>>>> sounds
>>>> silly.
>>>>    At another time my husband and I were casually walking down the
>>>>
>>> street
>>>
>>>> in the local town where we live. We became aware of a man
>>>> who was positively shrieking, "You missed the bus stop," over and over.
>>>>
>>> My
>>>
>>>> husband and I are both totally blind from birth. We
>>>> finally realized he must be talking to us because no one was reacting to
>>>> him, and he was not letting up. I said, "We are not going
>>>> to the bus stop," and the man immediately stopped yelling.
>>>>    Many times we have had people yelling at us about an obstacle that is
>>>> between several feet, to several store lengths away. We
>>>> either say Thanks, or say, "I will find it with My cane," to get them to
>>>> stop yelling. Then, I keep walking until I find the
>>>> obstacle. I have found it makes people nervous when our canes contact an
>>>> obstacle. However, it is a lot easier to get around an
>>>> obstacle that my cane has already found than one I am trying to skirt
>>>> without finding it.
>>>> Terri Wilcox
>>>>
>>>
>
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>  --
>> Kathryn CARROLL
>> BlueLaw International LLP
>> 703-647-7508
>> Cell: 631-521-3018
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Kathryn CARROLL
BlueLaw International LLP
703-647-7508
Cell: 631-521-3018