[nabs-l] Defining Excessively Helpful People and Interactions

Jedi loneblindjedi at samobile.net
Wed Aug 25 02:00:05 UTC 2010


I'd still take points away for "offering an elbow." I've seen sighted 
people walk up to me, stand near me, and do this funny little chicken 
wing thing as they way "want and elbow?" or "want help?" It's a bit 
ridiculous. I'd much rather they start by asking me if want my help, 
hear my answer, and leave me alone if I don't want help or ask me how I 
want them to help me if I do.

Respectfully,
Jedi


Original message:
> I think Cindy's ideas are very good. Maybe you could have a point-system to
> incorporate how many times a blind  person is touched, the discomfort scale
> number of the blind person, the number of times the assistant would ask, Are
> you sure? (as Cindy suggested), perhaps take-away points if the assistant
> attempts to engage in "normal" conversation, offers his/her elbow (the
> proper sighted-guide method), etc.

> On Tue, Aug 24, 2010 at 9:20 PM, Cindy Bennett <clb5590 at gmail.com> wrote:

>> I think some good ways to quantify over helpfulness would be to count
>> how many times the blind person is physically touched. Also, the
>> number of times the sighted person offering help asks something along
>> the lines of, "are you sure?" or repeats their request to help after
>> the blind person has clearly said no.

>> Also, i think that Joe brought up a good point. Over helpfulness is a
>> product of the helper's offers and the feelings of the one being
>> helped, so maybe a discomfort scale, or something of the sort, could
>> be given to the blind person after the incident. Sorry, i'm not really
>> familiar with any specific ones, but i'm sure they're out there. I
>> think this would be good, because some blind people honestly aren't
>> bothered by many offers to help whereas some become frustrated. There
>> could be a problem if the same blind person is used in simulation,
>> because after a while, they may be not as frustrated, because it is
>> just a study, or more frustrated because they have been put through
>> the simulation multiple times.

>> Cindy

>> On 8/24/10, trising <trising at sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>>>     I think overly helpful people grab you and pull you to wherever they
>>> think you want to go. It is hard to get them to stop and
>>> actually listen to your question about what restaurants or businesses are
>>> near so you can actually make your own choices. Others
>>> might shout at us or talk to us very slowly, as if the synapses in our
>>> brains must take a while to fire. Others ask our companions
>>> what we want for lunch or give them our change. When a person asks a
>> friend
>>> or family member what I want as if I am not there, I
>>> answer as if I am not there either by saying something like, "She wants a
>>> large Coke without ice and some fish and chips." As soon
>>> as they talk to me, I stop talking as if I am not there because it sounds
>>> silly.
>>>     At another time my husband and I were casually walking down the
>> street
>>> in the local town where we live. We became aware of a man
>>> who was positively shrieking, "You missed the bus stop," over and over.
>> My
>>> husband and I are both totally blind from birth. We
>>> finally realized he must be talking to us because no one was reacting to
>>> him, and he was not letting up. I said, "We are not going
>>> to the bus stop," and the man immediately stopped yelling.
>>>     Many times we have had people yelling at us about an obstacle that is
>>> between several feet, to several store lengths away. We
>>> either say Thanks, or say, "I will find it with My cane," to get them to
>>> stop yelling. Then, I keep walking until I find the
>>> obstacle. I have found it makes people nervous when our canes contact an
>>> obstacle. However, it is a lot easier to get around an
>>> obstacle that my cane has already found than one I am trying to skirt
>>> without finding it.
>>> Terri Wilcox


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