[nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions

Tue Mar 16 11:48:58 UTC 2010

I also wish I can see what things look like!
Like you I have been blind sinse birth.
Rania, 

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Mary Fernandez
Sent: Monday, March 15, 2010 10:30 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions

Hi Jen,
Both your questions are highly intriguing and thought provoking. I for one,
think that it is only natural and human to want to see as a blind person.
Most of us have found wways with which we have succeeded in life. We know
the alternative skills, we are competent people, and we have satisfactory
lives. However, blindness is an inconvenience. While it is not the tragedy
that the sighted world thinks it is, it does cause us frustration and
annoyance. Most of that frustration is due to the fact of how others view
us. Oh, what i wouldn't give to be able to walk into a room and have people
say, oh look, she seems to be a nice person, ;instead of, Gasp, she's blind,
and she's walking! For me though, aside from public attitudes, I really
really wish I could drive. I am a highly independent and somewhat impatient
person. In Atlanta, public transportation isn't the best, and oh, how i hate
wating on saturdays for a bus that is over an hour late. And I really don't
like asking people for rides since everyone is busy. Of course, most of my
friends wouldn't refuse, but who wants to be a burden all the time?
Long story short, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. Sighted people
don't wish they could see, but some wish they were married, others that they
had gotten an educations, still others that they had a different job. We all
wish for things that we can't have. It's human nature. But as long as it is
only a passing thought, something that doesn't stop us from living a full
and meaningful life, it's not somethign to be overly worried about.

As to your second question. I think this is merely a personality trait as
opposed to a blind specific trait. It is true, that a lot of blind people
like to be in control, because we have no control over our lack of sight, it
is comforting, and often a smart thing to have set ways of doing things.
Knowing as much as we can about our environment, and being able to run our
lives in a predictable fashion is important, not only to blind people, but
to everyone. However, being boxed in all the time, and never venturing out
of a set parameter isn't always healthy.
I think that we all, as individuals should try to do things
differently at some point. Sometimes   doing something a different
way, or approaching a problem from a different perspective is very healthy.
If we get boxed in, and set in our ways, it might lead us to become stuck in
situations that can be solved in different ways. This is especially
important for blind individuals, because we can't always do thing a certain
way so we have to look for alternatives. Last semester, I was taking a
statistics class, and I was so determined and used to being able to get
everything accomplished on my own, without any sighted help, that I
completely oversaw the solution right in front of my face. Hiring someone to
describe graphics while I figured out a way to do it myself would have been
the perfect solution. But instead, I had gotten so boxed in just hitting my
head against a wall until it gave up, that I had to withdraw from the class.
I was so stuck in the fact that I didn't have my books, had never used a
statistics computer program, and my professor was unhelpful, that I just
failed to look a the problem from a different perspective. I've learned my
lesson. And it is a valuable one to learn at an early stage. We have
different reasons for wanting to have structured lives.
Someone mentioned fear, wanting to have complete control or even just
because we don't care to know a different way since we have never needed to
do so. These are all legitimate reasons, but it is important to recognize
that getting set in our ways can lead to failure instead of success.
I'm so sorry I went on so long.
Hope this help though.
Mary

On 3/15/10, Hope Paulos <hope.paulos at maine.edu> wrote:
> Hi there. I sometimes wish I can see, but am perfectly fine being 
> blind. As far as living life inside a box.. I do this, but am trying 
> to break out of it. I want to be more spontaneous. In my case, living 
> in my box is due to fear. Therefore, I'm attempting to becoome less 
> fearful and more relaxed. To be honest (and brutally so) I believe 
> living in one's box is a "blindism", that not all blind people have, but
many do.
> HTH.
> Hope and Beignet
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jen" <spiderweb1 at sbcglobal.net>
> To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, March 15, 2010 4:51 PM
> Subject: [nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions
>
>
>> 1. Am I the only one who sometimes wishes he / she could see?
>>
>> I am comfortable with my blindness and would not want to be sighted, 
>> but still wonder and am fascinated by what things look like at times 
>> (for new members, I have been blind since birth.)
>>
>> Yesterday, I took my my to a River Dance concert for her birthday. I 
>> loved the music but wanted to see the dancing that went with it as well.
>> It was hard to try to picture it based on the music...
>>
>> 2. I love / cling to procedural order in life - follow all steps, and 
>> nothing can or will go wrong. I also try to make rules for everything 
>> that won't change so everything is in a contained "box" in my mind 
>> out of which it can't escape. I also find rules comforting so I don't 
>> have to think and can just do something automatically. An example of 
>> such a rule is "always take out your book in class [even if the 
>> professor isn't using it that day.] If you do this, you will always be a
good student.
>> If you don't, you are a bad student."
>>
>> I know there are no guarantees for things but still cling to the 
>> procedural mind set to keep my mental boxes of rules intact. Is being 
>> overly procedure-oriented a "blindism" or something with which the 
>> sighted struggle as well?
>>
>> Thanks for your input.
>>
>>
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--
Mary Fernandez
Emory University 2012
P.O. Box 123056
Atlanta Ga.
30322
Phone: 732-857-7004
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is
never a given. It must be earned.
President Barack Obama

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