[nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions

Tue Mar 16 03:29:41 UTC 2010

Hi Jen,
Both your questions are highly intriguing and thought provoking. I for
one, think that it is only natural and human to want to see as a blind
person. Most of us have found wways with which we have succeeded in
life. We know the alternative skills, we are competent people, and we
have satisfactory lives. However, blindness is an inconvenience. While
it is not the tragedy that the sighted world thinks it is, it does
cause us frustration and annoyance. Most of that frustration is due to
the fact of how others view us. Oh, what i wouldn't give to be able to
walk into a room and have people say, oh look, she seems to be a nice
person, ;instead of, Gasp, she's blind, and she's walking! For me
though, aside from public attitudes, I really really wish I could
drive. I am a highly independent and somewhat impatient person. In
Atlanta, public transportation isn't the best, and oh, how i hate
wating on saturdays for a bus that is over an hour late. And I really
don't like asking people for rides since everyone is busy. Of course,
most of my friends wouldn't refuse, but who wants to be a burden all
the time?
Long story short, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. Sighted
people don't wish they could see, but some wish they were married,
others that they had gotten an educations, still others that they had
a different job. We all wish for things that we can't have. It's human
nature. But as long as it is only a passing thought, something that
doesn't stop us from living a full and meaningful life, it's not
somethign to be overly worried about.

As to your second question. I think this is merely a personality trait
as opposed to a blind specific trait. It is true, that a lot of blind
people like to be in control, because we have no control over our lack
of sight, it is comforting, and often a smart thing to have set ways
of doing things. Knowing as much as we can about our environment, and
being able to run our lives in a predictable fashion is important, not
only to blind people, but to everyone. However, being boxed in all the
time, and never venturing out of a set parameter isn't always healthy.
I think that we all, as individuals should try to do things
differently at some point. Sometimes   doing something a different
way, or approaching a problem from a different perspective is very
healthy. If we get boxed in, and set in our ways, it might lead us to
become stuck in situations that can be solved in different ways. This
is especially important for blind individuals, because we can't always
do thing a certain way so we have to look for alternatives. Last
semester, I was taking a statistics class, and I was so determined and
used to being able to get everything accomplished on my own, without
any sighted help, that I completely oversaw the solution right in
front of my face. Hiring someone to describe graphics while I figured
out a way to do it myself would have been the perfect solution. But
instead, I had gotten so boxed in just hitting my head against a wall
until it gave up, that I had to withdraw from the class. I was so
stuck in the fact that I didn't have my books, had never used a
statistics computer program, and my professor was unhelpful, that I
just failed to look a the problem from a different perspective. I've
learned my lesson. And it is a valuable one to learn at an early
stage. We have different reasons for wanting to have structured lives.
Someone mentioned fear, wanting to have complete control or even just
because we don't care to know a different way since we have never
needed to do so. These are all legitimate reasons, but it is important
to recognize that getting set in our ways can lead to failure instead
of success.
I'm so sorry I went on so long.
Hope this help though.
Mary

On 3/15/10, Hope Paulos <hope.paulos at maine.edu> wrote:
> Hi there. I sometimes wish I can see, but am perfectly fine being blind. As
> far as living life inside a box.. I do this, but am trying to break out of
> it. I want to be more spontaneous. In my case, living in my box is due to
> fear. Therefore, I'm attempting to becoome less fearful and more relaxed. To
> be honest (and brutally so) I believe living in one's box is a "blindism",
> that not all blind people have, but many do.
> HTH.
> Hope and Beignet
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jen" <spiderweb1 at sbcglobal.net>
> To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, March 15, 2010 4:51 PM
> Subject: [nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions
>
>
>> 1. Am I the only one who sometimes wishes he / she could see?
>>
>> I am comfortable with my blindness and would not want to be sighted, but
>> still wonder and am fascinated by what things look like at times (for
>> new members, I have been blind since birth.)
>>
>> Yesterday, I took my my to a River Dance concert for her birthday. I
>> loved the music but wanted to see the dancing that went with it as well.
>> It was hard to try to picture it based on the music...
>>
>> 2. I love / cling to procedural order in life - follow all steps, and
>> nothing can or will go wrong. I also try to make rules for everything
>> that won't change so everything is in a contained "box" in my mind out
>> of which it can't escape. I also find rules comforting so I don't have
>> to think and can just do something automatically. An example of such a
>> rule is "always take out your book in class [even if the professor isn't
>> using it that day.] If you do this, you will always be a good student.
>> If you don't, you are a bad student."
>>
>> I know there are no guarantees for things but still cling to the
>> procedural mind set to keep my mental boxes of rules intact. Is being
>> overly procedure-oriented a "blindism" or something with which the
>> sighted struggle as well?
>>
>> Thanks for your input.
>>
>>
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-- 
Mary Fernandez
Emory University 2012
P.O. Box 123056
Atlanta Ga.
30322
Phone: 732-857-7004
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that
greatness is never a given. It must be earned.
President Barack Obama