[nabs-l] questions about cane travel and independent travel

Wed May 12 09:02:59 UTC 2010

Katie,

I don't know any federationist, (at least not any I've ever met), who would tell you that accepting help is never ok. Of course there are certain situations where everyone, (sighted or blind), require help in some way. This may be a ride, or a friend when things are hard, or directions to a certain destination. If you never accept any help, that would alienate people. The issue is that you don't want to always rely on others because you have a lack of confidence in yourself due to your blindness. Only you can make the judgment call as to what is appropriate for you and when, as long as you are of the mindset that you are a capable woman with a lot to contribute. Asserting your independence is important to your growth both as a blind person and as an adult, but doing so with dignity is also important. Having the grace to accept help when necessary is also a form of independence.

Briley 
On May 12, 2010, at 1:44 AM, Katie Wang wrote:

> Hi, Kerri,
>  I would first like to say that i'm also totally blind, 22 years old,
> and working on improving my cane travel skills, so I think we have a
> lot in common!
>  With regard to your questions, I think you brought up some excellent
> points. It is definitely important for us to not inconvenient others
> when hanging out with our sighted peers so that they don't feel like
> they are taking care of us. For example, I agree with you that we
> should carry our food and drink in a restaurant and take a cab to the
> destination if getting a ride with someone is not convenient. However,
> I personally believe (though some Federationists may disagree with me)
> that accepting help in some situations is totally fine. For instance,
> my sighted friends would often offer me rides to get-togethers, but
> they also make the same offers to other sighted people who don't
> happen to have cars, and I don't see any problems in accepting and
> thanking them for the rides. Similarly, while we should definitely be
> aware of our surroundings at all times, I have found conversations
> much easier in unfamiliar places if I take my friend's arm. I can
> still continue to use my cane to locate steps and such, but I would
> not have to worry about veering off the course or losing track of my
> friend (which can happen if I just follow with my cane, especially in
> open spaces or crowded settings).
>  To me, the most important questions is whether i would be able to do
> things for myself if assistance were not conveniently available. For
> example, would I be comfortable taking a cab to a dinner party if no
> one is willing/able to pick me up? Would i be able to go out and enjoy
> a movie on my own or with other visually impaired friends? As long as
> the answers to these questions are affirmative, I'm not overly
> concerned about accepting help when hanging out with my sighted
> friends; I actually don't think about it very much most of the time
> and just let things happen naturally.
>  This is just my personal opinion, of course, and I'm curious to hear
> others' thoughts on this. Most importantly, though, I hope you enjoy
> the outing with your friend!
>   Katie
> 
> On 5/12/10, Kerri Kosten <kerrik2006 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi All:
>> 
>> First, I wanted to say thanks for all your help/answers to my other
>> posts. I really appreciate it!
>> 
>> I have another independent travel/cane travel question.
>> 
>> Basically, if you have not had training when is it appropriate to be
>> guided and when should I be using my cane?
>> 
>> Before I got my nfb cane and really became interested in the NFB, I
>> was guided everywhere all the time. I had one of those short heavy
>> folding canes and would bring it along but not use it. I have since
>> learned that guiding me everywhere (I am totally blind) was definitely
>> the wrong approach and was much more damaging than helpful.
>> 
>> I ordered and received an NFB cane a few months ago and really like
>> it. However, it is still hard to not use sighted guide...my mother
>> wants to guide me all the time, and I feel like I have to fight and
>> battle to use my cane which isn't right! Though I don't mind being
>> guided in certain situations or if I am in a hurry, I think it is very
>> important to use it sparingly. Though guiding is definitely easier, if
>> I don't begin to use my cane and resist the guiding I'll never learn
>> and become independent.
>> 
>> In the past I have had a lot of trouble making friends and fitting in
>> with sighted people. I used to not understand why this is, but now I
>> really believe it was because of my lack of independence as a blind
>> person. For example, if a person wanted to do something they would
>> pick me up and drive me back home no matter how convient or inconvient
>> it may be for them; I didn't know how to use cabs. They would of
>> course always guide me everywhere, sometimes I believe I brought the
>> cane but never used it. If we ate at a restaurant and there was a tray
>> they would carry it to and from the table when we got the food or I
>> was finished. I would ocationly carry the drink but that was it. When
>> I look back at all of it, I think it really took a toll on the person
>> because it made it so that hanging out with me was more of a
>> responsibility/chore than just going to get coffee with a friend.
>> 
>> I have a chance to hang out with another sighted person tomorrow. I
>> have never hung out with this girl before. I don't want to be
>> rebelliously independent or be a pain/make it an unpleasant experience
>> with my display of independence but I don't want it to be like it used
>> to where this girl has to do everything for me, pick me up, take me
>> home, guide me...everything.
>> 
>> We are planning to go to out to eat and to a movie.
>> 
>> I have already offered to meet her there, but she says she does not
>> mind picking me up at all so if it's truly no inconvience to her I may
>> let her.
>> 
>> But, once we get to the restaurant and then later to hte movies do I
>> follow her and use my cane or let her guide me?
>> 
>> How do I handle this with my mother?
>> 
>> As I sadid before it's certainly easier to take an arm but if I do it
>> all the time I never learn to use my cane.
>> 
>> I want to do what's age-appropriate. I am 22...so do I think of it as
>> "Would a sighted 22-year-old follow this person or would they take an
>> arm?"
>> 
>> I am not one of those people who just does what the NFB says all the
>> time...but cane travel and independent travel is very important to me
>> and I want to become as good and efficient with it as possible. While
>> I believe guiding is good in some situations I want to be careful and
>> use it sparingly!
>> 
>> Thanks!
>> Kerri
>> 
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/bunnykatie6%40gmail.com
>> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for nabs-l:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/brileyp%40gmail.com