[nabs-l] questions about cane travel and independent travel

[Joe Orozco]

Hi Kerri,

Remember one thing anytime you head out, whether it be the mall or any other
place.  It's rather basic, but it's so basic that many of us forget it.  We
are our own worse critic.

In other words, I think we sometimes have the tendency to over analyze what
we're doing and spend not enough time actually enjoying what we're doing.

>From your posts I gather you are not an unpleasant person.  You seem
friendly and thoughtful.  I somehow doubt you would be one pegged to rudely
tell someone that you are "Miss Independent and please back off now or
else."  You're clearly socially conscious, otherwise you would not have
these questions, so just use these natural attributes and make the best of
the situation.  Though I am not suggesting that you pretend to be what you
are not, I think it important for us to sometimes think about how we would
act if we were fully sighted.  Blindness only becomes a concrete social
hindrance when you allow it to be.  Remember the rest of the public is
mostly curious about what we do and how we do it.  Many people have not had
the opportunity to interact with a blind person, and you could choose to be
overly concerned about how they might perceive you, or you could take a deep
breath, say "screw it" and just be yourself.  Some blind people are idiots
and get a stick up their butt when someone dares challenge their
independence, as if they have something to prove to the world.  How many
times have you seen sighted people get their feathers all in a bunch when
they offer each other help?

Remember, you're a typical young adult first, and blind second.  Which one
the public hones in on is completely within your control.

In terms of your outing, use a cane when you're completely confident.  Grab
an arm when you are not.  But, learn how to distinguish between grabbing an
arm is a necessity and grabbing an arm out of fear.  If it is fear, figure
out what it is you're afraid of.  If you're afraid of tripping, you'll fall,
make an ass out of yourself, but life will go on, right?  Next time you'll
learn how to properly sweep the cane in front of you to avoid the same
mistake.  Besides, it's not as if sighted people don't ever trip.  If you're
afraid of getting lost, chances are pretty good you'll learn something about
your surroundings you did not previously know before.  I could write you a
long list of my most embarrassing moments, NFB or not.  Yet I could also
write an equally long list of things each experience taught me.

Ultimately, turn the magnifier away from yourself.  You can use this list as
a learning resource to get all your questions answered, but in the moment,
when you're out and about, remember to relax.  People really will accept you
for who you are, and all the little awkward incidents that could happen will
be reduced to minor afterthoughts because you will have designed a good
communication channel based on your personality not your disability.

The family is a slightly different animal.  I'll try to address that point
later when I have a little more time if someone hasn't already covered it.
Enjoy your dinner and movie!

Joe

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing 
 

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