[nabs-l] Socializing skills and asking favors

[Ashley Bramlett]

Hi Gerardo,
Are you living in Mexico?  If so this makes quite a difference.  I don't 
think they have door to door service for disabled people, paratransit 
service.  Walking as a pedestrian there is also a bit different, but its 
more doable in the cities.

I thought you were going to school.  Is school finished for the semester. 
Your post says you're at home; also reading through the lines you're bored.

Some of this depends on your personality.  If you're outspoken you're more 
likely to talk and be included.  Here are my thoughts.  Personally I've 
never been much a movie person; its visual and a chore to follow the story; 
then you have all those flashbacks and people who sound alike making it hard 
to follow.  But if you want to go the movies, then go.

1. If you hear your cousins or friends say they're going out and you want to 
join, you can certainly hint or ask outright to go.
Depending on how close you are to friends, you may or may not want to ask; 
you don't want to be pushy.  For your cousins I think its alright to just 
say it.  You could say something like
"Gee we haven't been out in a while.  I'd like to also catch up with what is 
going on and I have lots of free time."  If they don't get the hint you want 
to go and invite you, then say "So since I have free time now, how about I 
come along."  It sounds like your family needs some education on the cane 
and your capabilities to be independent.

2. Yes use your cane while going sighted guide.  But I suggest making your 
arc narrower so you don't trip the guide.  Also if you're walking in a small 
group such as your cousins then shorten your cane by putting your hand 
further down the cane so again you don't trip the people in front of you.  I 
found if I fully extend my cane it gets in the way of other people I'm 
walking with.

3. While at the movies, its fine if you ask what's happening when its quiet. 
But don't talk often and I suggest the person only say a sentence or two. 
Movies are quiet places and you don't want to disrupt  other people or take 
away from someone's experience.  What might help is to read up on the film 
prior to going to get a sense of the plot.  Newspapers have movie reviews. 
You may be able to search online as well.  Is the film also a book?  If so 
you can read that.
Talking to people who saw the movie can help too.

Ashley

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gerardo Corripio" <gera1027 at gmail.com>
To: "BlindStudents" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2010 11:24 AM
Subject: [nabs-l] Socializing skills and asking favors


>   Hi guys: Great topic on cane and independence! Really hit home because
> I'm in the process of also trying to get more independent in going out 
> with
> friends and the like since I'm getting tired of staying home all day and
> depending on people to take me here and there! So my questions are:
> 1.-Suppose I hear my cousins or friends say they're going to a movie or 
> out
> to eat. How can I ask if I can go or should I wait for them to invite me 
> if
> I want to go? Surely they won't because I feel they're afraid of not 
> knowing
> how to cope with a blind person because in order for me to get schooling 
> and
> such we had to leave my native town and now my cousins are afraid and 
> don't
> know how to cope with me or already have their own group made up and are
> afraid to have me join.
> 2.-I already have figured out that while guiding me around I'll use the 
> cane
> in one hand and sighted guide in the other so there's no problem there.
> 3.-While in the movie (unfortunately here in Mexico there's still no such
> thing as DVS in theaters as you guys) is it all right to ask my cousin or
> friend next to me to when they're no dialogues to tell me what's happening
> in the film or should I try and figure it out? Because if they tell me I
> will be more able to discuss the film like the sighted people because I
> don't feel as part of the group while I hear comments on the film while 
> I'm
> not able to join in them in due form since probably I wasn't able to get 
> all
> out of the film.
> All my questions for now but surely more will pop up as the days and weeks
> go by.
> Gerardo
>
>
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