[nabs-l] Socializing skills and asking favors

Wed May 12 20:42:39 UTC 2010

Hi Gerardo,

I know you live in Mexico and I don't know how easy or difficult it
would be for you to come to the United States to attend one of our NFB
training centers, but I just want to say that lots of students from
other countries have attended our centers before. From all your posts
it sounds like you really want to gain more independence and learn how
to do more things, and I think that even a couple of months at one of
our centers could really be helpful. I am going to put the main phone
numbers for our three NFB centers at the bottom of this email if you
want to call and find out how you might be able to go there as an
international student. Again, I don't know the details but I do know
several blind people from various parts of the world who have been
able to attend our centers and have then either stayed in America or
returned to their home country with newfound skills, independence, and
confidence. If that's something you might want to do I would encourage
you to at least give one of the centers a call and speak to the person
who answers the phone or ask for the executive director, or send the
director an email, and tell them about your situation to see what you
can work out. Best of luck and please feel free to continue posting
your questions and concerns to the list.

Arielle Silverman
President, National Association of Blind Students

Colorado Center for the Blind
Director: Julie Deden
800-401-4632
jdeden at cocenter.org

Louisiana Center for the Blind
Pam Allen, Director
800-234-4166
pallen at lcb-ruston.com

BLIND, Inc.
Shawn Mayo, Director
800-597-9558
info at blindinc.org

On 5/12/10, Ashley  Bramlett <bookwormahb at earthlink.net> wrote:
> Hi Gerardo,
> Are you living in Mexico?  If so this makes quite a difference.  I don't
> think they have door to door service for disabled people, paratransit
> service.  Walking as a pedestrian there is also a bit different, but its
> more doable in the cities.
>
> I thought you were going to school.  Is school finished for the semester.
> Your post says you're at home; also reading through the lines you're bored.
>
> Some of this depends on your personality.  If you're outspoken you're more
> likely to talk and be included.  Here are my thoughts.  Personally I've
> never been much a movie person; its visual and a chore to follow the story;
> then you have all those flashbacks and people who sound alike making it hard
> to follow.  But if you want to go the movies, then go.
>
> 1. If you hear your cousins or friends say they're going out and you want to
> join, you can certainly hint or ask outright to go.
> Depending on how close you are to friends, you may or may not want to ask;
> you don't want to be pushy.  For your cousins I think its alright to just
> say it.  You could say something like
> "Gee we haven't been out in a while.  I'd like to also catch up with what is
> going on and I have lots of free time."  If they don't get the hint you want
> to go and invite you, then say "So since I have free time now, how about I
> come along."  It sounds like your family needs some education on the cane
> and your capabilities to be independent.
>
> 2. Yes use your cane while going sighted guide.  But I suggest making your
> arc narrower so you don't trip the guide.  Also if you're walking in a small
> group such as your cousins then shorten your cane by putting your hand
> further down the cane so again you don't trip the people in front of you.  I
> found if I fully extend my cane it gets in the way of other people I'm
> walking with.
>
> 3. While at the movies, its fine if you ask what's happening when its quiet.
> But don't talk often and I suggest the person only say a sentence or two.
> Movies are quiet places and you don't want to disrupt  other people or take
> away from someone's experience.  What might help is to read up on the film
> prior to going to get a sense of the plot.  Newspapers have movie reviews.
> You may be able to search online as well.  Is the film also a book?  If so
> you can read that.
> Talking to people who saw the movie can help too.
>
> Ashley
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Gerardo Corripio" <gera1027 at gmail.com>
> To: "BlindStudents" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2010 11:24 AM
> Subject: [nabs-l] Socializing skills and asking favors
>
>
>>   Hi guys: Great topic on cane and independence! Really hit home because
>> I'm in the process of also trying to get more independent in going out
>> with
>> friends and the like since I'm getting tired of staying home all day and
>> depending on people to take me here and there! So my questions are:
>> 1.-Suppose I hear my cousins or friends say they're going to a movie or
>> out
>> to eat. How can I ask if I can go or should I wait for them to invite me
>> if
>> I want to go? Surely they won't because I feel they're afraid of not
>> knowing
>> how to cope with a blind person because in order for me to get schooling
>> and
>> such we had to leave my native town and now my cousins are afraid and
>> don't
>> know how to cope with me or already have their own group made up and are
>> afraid to have me join.
>> 2.-I already have figured out that while guiding me around I'll use the
>> cane
>> in one hand and sighted guide in the other so there's no problem there.
>> 3.-While in the movie (unfortunately here in Mexico there's still no such
>> thing as DVS in theaters as you guys) is it all right to ask my cousin or
>> friend next to me to when they're no dialogues to tell me what's happening
>> in the film or should I try and figure it out? Because if they tell me I
>> will be more able to discuss the film like the sighted people because I
>> don't feel as part of the group while I hear comments on the film while
>> I'm
>> not able to join in them in due form since probably I wasn't able to get
>> all
>> out of the film.
>> All my questions for now but surely more will pop up as the days and weeks
>> go by.
>> Gerardo
>>
>>
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>
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-- 
Arielle Silverman
President, National Association of Blind Students
Phone:  602-502-2255
Email:
nabs.president at gmail.com
Website:
www.nabslink.org