[nabs-l] Need more help...Navigating The Football Game Saturday

[Serena Cucco]

Hi Kerrie,

That's a tough one ... If your aunt is going or can go, I'd say go with her.
Being with an adult for one activity isn't too big of a deal, especially cuz
you asked your friends and acquaintances.  You're correct that you can't
really "make" people go with you.  My first year I was in the pep band in
high school, I didn't know anybody, either.  The chaperones, moms who
brought snacks etc. to the games, walked with me, since I had nobody to walk
with.  To my knowledge, the title "chaperone" didn't have anything to do
with me as a blind person ... others called these moms "chaperones," as
well.  When I realized that the chaperones sat me somewhere not near my
bandmates, however, I talked to my band teacher.  The rest of that year, he
walked with me, instead, so it would at least look as if I had a friend to
walk with, him.  The next year, I met these two awesome guy friends who were
my pals at the games.

Serena

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Kerri Kosten
Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2010 5:24 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list; k-r; Darren Burton
Subject: [nabs-l] Need more help...Navigating The Football Game Saturday

Hey All:

Sorry to post another message about this but I figured I'd change the
subject line a little.

As most of you know, yesterday I decided to do the basketball game
independently and just find a friend for the football game Saturday to
be on the safe side with such a massive stadium, parking lot area,
tons of steps everywhere, and all the drunks.

Well, to make a long story short, I can't find anyone to go with.

I honestly don't have very many friends around here. The reasons for
this are debatable but I think it comes down to the fact that the
sighted people feel sorry for me, and see me as a child and don't want
to be "responsible" for me. I don't have that forward-thinking sighted
person to go to or that cool friend and there aren't any other blind
people around here.

I called one of the friends I have Loray...but she is working Saturday.

I posted on Facebook yesterday that I have an extra ticket to go to
the game on the 50 yard line but noone responded. I posted another
status update earlier today and someone responded asking if I was
selling the ticket and how much and they may be interested...I
explained the situation, that the ticket wasn't for sale but I was
looking for someone to go with because as a female it probably
wouldn't be the best idea to go alone with all the drunks. The person
agreed, and asked how I was but did not say anything about going to
the game with me.

My aunt may be going but heres the thing...I want to be careful with
who I ask and select to go with. I don't want to just go with someone
as a tag-along or invite myself into a group or worst of all have
someone feel sorry for the poor blind girl and take her to the game
because she doesn't have anyone to go with...and if she doesn't go
with me how will she go to the game? Poor thing...then the whole time
ask me about where my mother is, and how my mother should be taking
me, and so on.

It's my birthday...I want to do this and have fun and I want to go
with a person who wants to go with me because of me not because they
feel sorry for the poor blind girl or the poor blind girl doesn't have
anyone else to go with, or the poor blind girl's mother is too busy
for her. I try to point out that 'm 23 years old and don't need my
mother and they say "I know," but it infuriates me.

So, what should I do if I don't end up finding someone to go with?

This not getting to do things because of not having people to do
things has gone on long enough. As of a couple of months ago I decided
enough was enough, and to stop feeling sorry for myself, and that from
now on I would do what I wanted when I wanted whether I had people to
go with or not.

So far, until this football game I've been doing pretty well.

I have already missed out on several festivals here and a concert that
was held here featuring Maroon 5, Ludacris, and Kris Allen (Maroon 5
is one of my favorite artists and I love Ludacris) because of not
having people to go with and being afraid to go because of being a
female with all the rowdy drunks.

I want to show these feel sorry people that I don't need them, and
that I do what I want when I want whether they want to take me or not,
and that my mother doesn't need to be around...I don't want my
birthday to be ruined too and not get to go to something I want
because of stupid people!

I don't need these people...I'm determined to show them and overcome
this...but I want to be safe too and keep what Kimberly said in her
message yesterday in mind.

If I don't end up finding anybody and have to do it alone would it be
best  to do the call ahead, have someone from security help me to my
seat then help me out of the stadium afterwords? Would that be safe
enough?

I love the idea of gong to the stadium to check things out on a day
when the fans are not there...but this is the last of two home games
so this will most likely be the only football game I go to.

I have to pick up my ticket for the basketball game so I definitely
will check out that areena but I don't know if I'll get to check out
the football stadium before Saturday.

What to do?

Thanks so much,

Kerri

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