[nabs-l] parent's attitudes and advocating with parents

[bookwormahb at earthlink.net]

Hi all,

Growing up my parents were supportive for my academics and accomodations.  They went to IEP meetings and actively participated.  However, when it comes to daily living and orientation and mobility I don't feel as supported.  This is particular to O&M.  Growing up I only had basics of O&M  given to me twice a month.  Then I got some good training through the Dept for the blind here.  She was excellent because she encouraged you to ask questions of the public and explore your surroundings.  She was a general COMS, certified orientation and mobility specialist but I think she included some discovery techniques in her teaching style.

Anyway, I am so tired of my mom's negative attitude.  I have a rather hard time with O&M and cannot reverse routes well.  I have spatial deficits.  
It takes me longer to learn O&M but when I finally learn a place I am a pretty average walker and confident in that familiar environment.
When I lived at Marymount university I knew that campus well and traveled on my own to restaurants, convenience stores and the nearby mall.
I did more indoor travel there because I wasn't confident with streets.

I say this because I give some background to show I was successful in O&M to some extent and carried out some ndependent living tasks at school except cooking.


My mother isn't encouraging me to go places on my own.  She is doubting my ability to navigate my community college campus.  When I suggested I take metro access, our paratransit, home from some job development meetings she says things like "you couldn't find the bus to get picked up." and You couldn't find the right room upstairs." 
Despite those comments I am learning to navigate campus with another O&M specialist I found through the lighthouse.
I will say though campus is challenging due to many open spaces such as the quad and few edges to follow visually and/or tactually with the cane.

I'm so frustrated that I have to advocate for basic freedoms that most young adults take for granted.  
I sometimes doubt myself too and worry I'll prove to myself and my parents I'm not a competent traveler.
I fear that I will internalize my mom's attitudes and stop challenging myself and lose my optimism.

I know I can only improve by doing the skill I need to work on.
How do you advocate and stand up for your  needs when family members doubt your abilities?
We're a close family and thing is also I generally respect my parents and their opinions so when they doubt my abilities I sometimes doubt myself too.

When I have the funding through employment I'm moving out so this won't be an issue.  But till then I need to do the best I can here.

Ashley