[nabs-l] blind people being taught social skills

[Tara Annis]

Arielle, I do agree with you that  some of the time blind  people do  certain "socially unacceptable" things out of lazieness as opposed to ignorance.  Yet, I do know for a fact that the situation I mentioned was out of ignorance; once I give all the details you guys wil understand.  The  picking up after dog situation was where a girl and I were standing on campus  about 20 feet away from a  group of about 15 sighted students smoking.  We were in direct line of them, and the girl realizes her dog has went bathroom, turns to me and says, "hurry up, let's get out of here before  those people see us."  She didn't realize that they could see at that distance. I think  the fact they were all  talking to each other made her feel they were not focusing on her as well.  This girl has misunderstood about sight other times as well.  She  snuck soda into the movies, so she would not have to pay for the expensive ones at the theater.  The usher came down the row, and she tried to hide the can of soda, but only covered part of it with her hand.  (I can see a little bit, so saw this for myself.)  The usher came  up to her and told her to get rid of it; once he left she turned to me and said, "I don't know how he could tell I had this soda, I had it covered with my hands!"  She didn't realize that body position and one's angle to objects determines what can be seen.

I'm not saying I'm better than her, for the fact I've   made social mistakes.  For example, I did not understand that people were  always watching my facial expression.  One time in choir my friends told me they watch me the whole time during this class, instead of what the teacher was writing on the blackboard, since I made interesting facial expressions.  They told me that everyone in the class except me had a bored look on their face, but I would randomly  smile really big for a few seconds, then go back to normal, then smile again a few minutes later.  (I found out this  is very common; many blind people   do this hwen  they are daydreaming.  For example, a blind girl I knew would have these same expressions when she listened to her CD player with the headphones, since she was in her own world, enjoying the music, and did not realize people around her were watching her expressions.)

To let everyone know, though, that sighted people can make these mistakes as well, probably not as  often, but it still happens.  For example, a sighted person told me that a lot of   people  wil pick their noses when they are driving in their cars to work.  They do not realize that people in other vehicles aroudn them can see through their windshield.  The nose picker does not realize this because    they cannot imagine the visual perspective of other drivers; they only know what they are seeing, not  what others at different positions are seeing.

I totally understand discussing this issue to  blind people has to be done correctly, and I think more research will  shed more light on the proper techniques to use in  an advanced social skills class.  I feel that keeping this  information could  cause more damage, though, especially for issues that canbe fixed without much hassle. Also, research needs to be conducted to determine statistically which behaviors are considered extremely negative.  Some of them are universal, as I said in the last message, such as masturbation in public.  Everyone will agree that this behaviour should not happen, and the blind person doing it should be alerted, taught how to fix the issue, since continuing to do  it would keep him from   making friends or getting a job.  Most would agree tha tnot telling him about would hurt him more in the long run.  
This research could also benefit sighted, since it would show where the public is lacking in understanding of disability, and more etiquette training to address these gaps in understanding could be fixed.