[nabs-l] Philosophy in society

[humberto]

Interesting essay: We all run into stories like that. I know, 
people just don't understand about blindness.

> ----- Original Message -----
>From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>Date sent: Wed, 16 Feb 2011 18:02:23 -0600
>Subject: [nabs-l] Philosophy in society

>It is a total drag when people want to only talk about your 
blindness--
>as though you have nothing to offer.  I try to view these moments 
as
>educational opportunities.  I kindly and diplomatically explain, 
to the
>best of my abilities, how blind people "do" things.  I try to 
answer
>questions, but then turn the conversation around to discuss other
>matters.  Find opportunities in conversations to change the 
discussion.

>It is not always easy.  I do think it is perfectly acceptable to, 
in a
>diplomatic fashion, explain that blind people have other 
interest.  Ask
>the person questions so a back-and-forth begins.

>I am posting an essay I wrote that exemplifies this discussion, I 
think.
>There is a section with some strong language so if you do not 
enjoy
>strong language, you may want to skip this.  It is only a small 
section
>that includes the language.  Enjoy.  *smile*

>The Event of the Century

>The chill wind whips my hair as I cane along the Fuddrucker's 
building
>with my long white cane searching for the door.  My friends do 
the same
>with their canes.  The scent of grease filters through the chill 
air.
>It is the unmistakeable odor of a hamburger joint.  We are cold, 
and we
>are hungry.  Finding the door, we all scurry inside.  We are 
seven
>friends out on a Saturday having a good time-we all happen to be 
blind.

>Piling into the entrance, we tap our white canes investigating 
the
>restaurant.  Ross, my husband, and I find a wall and follow it 
with our
>canes tapping back-and-forth against the wall.  "Hey guys," I 
call out,
>"I believe this is the counter."  The click of cane tips echoes 
from all
>directions as Shane, Amy, Audra, Jamie and Carol find their way 
to the
>counter.  Since the menu is not available in Braille, I ask the 
cashier
>to please read the choices out loud.  Ross and I order as our 
friends
>from Lincoln, who we do not see often, decide what sounds best.

>Grabbing my cup, I listen for the soda fountain.  Ice chinks into 
a cup
>and I follow the sound.  I encounter an island separating the 
soda
>fountain from where I stand.  Pausing for a second, I determine 
which
>direction to walk around the island, but before I can take 
another step,
>a stranger approaches me.

>"Can I help you?" she asks.

>"No thanks.  I'm just going to fill my cup," I say. As I step 
around the
>stranger, arcing my cane, I can tell she is hesitating.  Before I 
know
>what to do, she pinches a fold of my coat and yanks me around the
>island.

>"It's this way," she says .

>"Thanks, but that's the direction I was moving in, ma'am."

>The stranger pauses again as my friends move past looking for an 
open
>table. "Where is your companion?" she asks.

>"Well, seeing as we're all adults, we don't have a companion."  I 
follow
>the cane taps leaving the stranger alone to ponder the miracle 
happening
>before her eyes.

>"The freak show's out.  Everyone should grab their camera," Audra 
says
>as I approach the table.

>We all quietly chuckle. We don't mean to be rude, but we are all 
use to
>this reaction when in public.  The amazing blind people who have 
left
>the security of their homes!  Yes, I am cynical, but this has 
always
>been a part of my character.  Encountering ridiculous ideas and 
outdated
>attitudes towards blindness on a daily basis, keeps my cynicism 
fresh.

>Eight years ago I would never have thought the hardest part of 
being
>blind was dealing with society's perceptions and attitudes.  I 
very
>quickly adjusted to my blindness, and it is a part of who I am.  
I
>accept it just as I accept the color of my hair or my inability 
to solve
>a math equation quickly.  I am no more amazing than anyone else, 
but
>because I do things without vision, it suddenly makes me 
exceptional.

>It is difficult to be around people, not because I am blind, but 
because
>others usually have problems accepting me as a person and not as 
a blind
>person.  Sometimes, I would rather spend time with children 
because they
>have an inate ability to trust and not doubt because of a 
perceived
>reality.

>My favorite past time these days is spending time with my nephew 
and
>nieces.  I must have the baby bug or something-- the biological 
clock
>and all.  They bring joy to my life, and yes, I must admit, I 
talk
>endlessly about them.

>Caiden is seven and a bit too smart for his own good.  Chloe is 
five and
>extremely independent, but she loves with her whole heart.  
Kensley is
>two, and she has the sweetest temperament, but every now and 
then, she
>gets a wild, mischievious glimmer in her eyes.  Penny is one and 
full of
>energy, but I have become a surrogate mother to her. I have 
watched them
>evolve from tiny beings, into real people, and it is through them 
I see
>where the future can lie.

>I am often met with dubious stares and hesitant concerns when 
people
>find out that I frequently watch my nephew and nieces.

>"How could you watch children?"

>"Isn't it difficult?"

>"Can blind people do that?"

>I hear these questions repeatedly, and depending on my mood, I 
respond
>accordingly.  I do not believe how insulting people can be.

>When I take the kids to the park or the mall or on a walk, people
>usually think the kids are guiding me around.  Yes, a 
seven-year-old,
>five-year-old, two-year-old and a baby guide me.  We would all be 
dead.


>I wonder if people think about what they say.

>The kids never question my abilities.  Blindness is normal to 
them.  My
>actions speak volumes to Caiden, Chloe, Kensley and Penny.  We 
think
>children have mental limitations, but they understand what adults 
can
>not.  My babies accept me and do not doubt their safety with me.

>Caiden loves to play video games.  I think he is a bit young for 
this,
>but what do adults know, right?  If allowed, he would play all 
day long.


>Once, my mom was watching the kids, and in an attempt to get 
Caiden to
>stop the game and play outside, she told him, "If you play too 
many
>video games you will go blind."

>Caiden's response was, "Grandma, it's not a big deal to be blind.  
Look
>at Aunt Bridgy."

>With these words, I realize the impact I have on my nephew and 
nieces.
>They are the beginning of a generation that can break the 
stereotypes
>about blindness.  The efforts I make seem so small, but through 
these
>children, I know the effect is lasting.

>Recently Chloe has taken to walking around with her eyes closed 
because
>she, "Wants to be like Aunt Bridgy." Every time she is at my 
house, she
>insists on using a white cane to walk around with.  She is also
>fascinated with Braille and wants to learn this tactile form of 
print.
>Every where she goes, she points out signs that have Braille on 
them.
>She has no fear.  To Chloe, blindness is just another way to 
"be."

>Children are not caught up in their perceptions, but will believe 
what
>you tell them at face value.  Exposure to me has allowed my 
nephew and
>nieces to learn and understand that life does not stop after 
blindness.
>Diversity is wide, and children accept people for who they are.  
My
>children accept me as capable and confident-the way they view 
other
>adults in their lives.  In their eyes, I am no different, and 
there is
>no thought of limitations.

>Kensley and Penny are still grasping the fact that I do not 
respond to
>visual cues, like nodding their heads.  Both have quickly 
adjusted to
>finding other means in which to express their wants. When wanting 
to be
>held, they come to me and place their arms around my legs.  When 
they
>want to show me something like a toy, they place it in my hands. 
Kensley
>and Penny do not question my ability to care for them.  To them, 
I am
>comfort, I am love, I am security, and of course I am food!

>Sometimes, I pin a small bell to the back of their clothing so I 
know
>where they are, but usually their gibber-gabber gives their 
location
>away.  As Penny and Kensley learn to speak, they will understand 
that
>they must use their words, and not gestures, to communicate with 
me.
>These two will grow up never thinking I am odd, or doubt that I 
can care
>for them.

>Adults, on the other hand, do not see beyond my blindness.  The 
world
>created a reality in which blindness is a debilitating disability
>leaving one limited and to be pitied.  True, not everyone buys 
into the
>antiquated stereotypes, and not everyone believes me inferior, 
but, in
>my experience, most people still cling to old notions.

>I was leaving campus one day, and a man approached me from behind 
and
>declared, "You are amazing!"  I knew what he meant, but I acted 
as
>though I had no clue.

>"What do you mean?" I asked.

>"You get around so well.  It is truly amazing you can walk."

>"Thanks, but I am blind, not paralyzed."

>"I just mean it is amazing you don't run into stuff."

>"If I didn't use this cane I would."  I proceeded down the steps 
of the
>fine arts building. Following behind me, he seemed poised to 
capture a
>blind person out of their natural environment.

>I looked up as I felt snow fall lightly on my head and face.  
"Wow, it's
>snowing again?"

>"See, you're amazing!  How do you know it's snowing?  It must be 
your
>sixth sense."

>"No, I feel it.  Can't you?"

>Diplomacy is the usual route I take, but there are times when I 
can no
>longer deal with the attitudes forced on me.  I try to educate-I 
try to
>be positive, but watch out if you catch me on a bad day.

>I stood, a few months ago,  waiting at the curb to cross the 
street.
>Listening to the traffic on Center street in front of me, and the
>traffic on Paddock road to my right, I prepare to cross.  As a 
person
>who is blind, I listen to the sound of traffic to help me cross a
>street, and yes, it is safe to do this.  Still not sure?  How 
many
>sighted people get into accidents?  I rest my case.

>Once the light changes, it won't stay green long, and I must zip 
across.
>I wait and wait and wait-the red light (red as in I have the 
right-away)
>is a freakin' fifteen-seconds long, but when traffic has the 
green, I
>stand here forever.  I checked the time, three o' clock on the 
dot.
>Come on.  I tapped my long white cane on the pavement out of 
boredom.

>Suddenly, I'm grabbed by the elbow from behind.  With cars on 
Center
>Street still zooming by, a crazed pedestrian forces me into 
oncoming
>traffic.  I could not stop, so I continue this farce as this 
Crazy Carla
>dragged me across the street.  Cars whizzed and rumbled by, and I 
had no
>choice but to keep truckin'.

>Reaching the other side, I slapped the strangers hand away and 
shouted,
>"What the hell are you doing?"

>"Are you good?" Crazy Carla asked, ignoring my question.

>"Are you insane?  You can see, right?  Clearly we did not have 
the
>right-away.  Shit!"

>Crazy Carla, who, I swore,  was about to meet her fate back out 
on
>Center street , tried grabbing my arm again.

>Grabbing her wrist, I asked, "Do I know you?  No, so what gives 
you the
>idea I want a complete stranger touching me?"

>"Can you make it home from here?"

>I stared in her direction.  Is she deaf?

>"Uh, I think I'm good.  How the hell do you think I was getting 
around
>before you, like a maniac, drove me across the street?"

>"Have a good day.  Ya' sure you can get home okay?"

>Throwing my backpack down, I shouted, "O-H MY GOD!  Fuck you!"  
Grabbing
>my bag, I turned and stomped towards my apartment complex.

>No, I am not proud of such outburst, but I don't accept the 
perceptions
>society has constructed about blindness either.  I, who was 
safely and
>cautiously waiting to cross a busy city street, was assumed 
incapable by
>a sighted person who threw caution to the wind and placed me, and
>themselves, into a dangerous situation.  Instead of thinking, 
"Hmm, this
>person is blind, but they are out and about on their own, they 
must be
>okay-they must know what they are doing," they only "see" the 
blind girl
>standing alone and do not get past that thought.

>My friends all have similar stories.  We are seven people 
enjoying each
>other's company, but because we are all blind, it is considered 
the
>event of the century. We range in age from twenty-five to 
thirty-five,
>some of us have children, all of us work, but it is an awesome
>accomplishment that we are socializing without a sighted 
companion.

>It is even more incredible that our conversation sounds like any 
other
>conversation.  This confuses our server as the girls talk about 
what to
>do at the mall, and the guys talk about the football game playing 
on the
>television.

>"You're all blind, right?" he asks.

>Seven voices chorus, "Yes."

>Message: 4
>Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2011 09:05:46 -0800
>From: Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com
>Subject: [nabs-l] Philosiphy in society
>Message-ID:
>	
<AANLkTikL2J4zOC0PFjwZqC2v+UyOnOPxaKM791A3+vdZ at mail.gmail.co
m
>Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

>Hi all,
>  So, I was thinking about how  what we learn in the NFb can 
translate
>into society.  For example,  socializing, we want to be 
considered as
>"normal" as the next person, but often we are asked the  general
>blindness related questions, not  ina bad way, but because people 
don't
>understand something and want to know  what we do.  How do people 
deal
>with this?  Say, you really had a long day, and the last thing  
you want
>to hear is something related to blindness, but the grammys were 
on, and
>you wouldn't mind talking about  how a certain pop star finally 
didn't
>win something *smile*.  Or,  you have the weel-meaning person 
trying to
>direct you somewhere, when you've made it clear  that you do not 
require
>said assistance? How do you  handle this without getting  fairly 
annoyed
>and/or taking
>it to be more serious than it's  simply ment.   I know we talk 
about
>the  importance of educating the public, yet   the equil 
importance of
>stressing normality.   How have people handled  these ideas?  How 
does
>one  operate keeping in mind the ideas of both living one's life 
and
>keep in mind the next blind person that comes along?

>    Darian


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