[nabs-l] Philosophy in society

[Jorge Paez]

So very true.

I remember being in the Mall Of America,
the 4 of us kids were going with one of the councelers on a rolercoaster,
and they tried to force an adult administrator to go with us.

Councelors fought it out and won that one though,
but yes, I've seen some quite bad ones.

Actually, I remember a guy once on a plane--the flight attendance that is, said my cane had to be stored in the overhead because it could "be used as a weapon."

Jorge



On Feb 16, 2011, at 11:19 PM, humberto wrote:

> Interesting essay: We all run into stories like that. I know, people just don't understand about blindness.
> 
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>> To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> Date sent: Wed, 16 Feb 2011 18:02:23 -0600
>> Subject: [nabs-l] Philosophy in society
> 
>> It is a total drag when people want to only talk about your 
> blindness--
>> as though you have nothing to offer.  I try to view these moments 
> as
>> educational opportunities.  I kindly and diplomatically explain, 
> to the
>> best of my abilities, how blind people "do" things.  I try to 
> answer
>> questions, but then turn the conversation around to discuss other
>> matters.  Find opportunities in conversations to change the 
> discussion.
> 
>> It is not always easy.  I do think it is perfectly acceptable to, 
> in a
>> diplomatic fashion, explain that blind people have other 
> interest.  Ask
>> the person questions so a back-and-forth begins.
> 
>> I am posting an essay I wrote that exemplifies this discussion, I 
> think.
>> There is a section with some strong language so if you do not 
> enjoy
>> strong language, you may want to skip this.  It is only a small 
> section
>> that includes the language.  Enjoy.  *smile*
> 
>> The Event of the Century
> 
>> The chill wind whips my hair as I cane along the Fuddrucker's 
> building
>> with my long white cane searching for the door.  My friends do 
> the same
>> with their canes.  The scent of grease filters through the chill 
> air.
>> It is the unmistakeable odor of a hamburger joint.  We are cold, 
> and we
>> are hungry.  Finding the door, we all scurry inside.  We are 
> seven
>> friends out on a Saturday having a good time-we all happen to be 
> blind.
> 
>> Piling into the entrance, we tap our white canes investigating 
> the
>> restaurant.  Ross, my husband, and I find a wall and follow it 
> with our
>> canes tapping back-and-forth against the wall.  "Hey guys," I 
> call out,
>> "I believe this is the counter."  The click of cane tips echoes 
> from all
>> directions as Shane, Amy, Audra, Jamie and Carol find their way 
> to the
>> counter.  Since the menu is not available in Braille, I ask the 
> cashier
>> to please read the choices out loud.  Ross and I order as our 
> friends
>> from Lincoln, who we do not see often, decide what sounds best.
> 
>> Grabbing my cup, I listen for the soda fountain.  Ice chinks into 
> a cup
>> and I follow the sound.  I encounter an island separating the 
> soda
>> fountain from where I stand.  Pausing for a second, I determine 
> which
>> direction to walk around the island, but before I can take 
> another step,
>> a stranger approaches me.
> 
>> "Can I help you?" she asks.
> 
>> "No thanks.  I'm just going to fill my cup," I say. As I step 
> around the
>> stranger, arcing my cane, I can tell she is hesitating.  Before I 
> know
>> what to do, she pinches a fold of my coat and yanks me around the
>> island.
> 
>> "It's this way," she says .
> 
>> "Thanks, but that's the direction I was moving in, ma'am."
> 
>> The stranger pauses again as my friends move past looking for an 
> open
>> table. "Where is your companion?" she asks.
> 
>> "Well, seeing as we're all adults, we don't have a companion."  I 
> follow
>> the cane taps leaving the stranger alone to ponder the miracle 
> happening
>> before her eyes.
> 
>> "The freak show's out.  Everyone should grab their camera," Audra 
> says
>> as I approach the table.
> 
>> We all quietly chuckle. We don't mean to be rude, but we are all 
> use to
>> this reaction when in public.  The amazing blind people who have 
> left
>> the security of their homes!  Yes, I am cynical, but this has 
> always
>> been a part of my character.  Encountering ridiculous ideas and 
> outdated
>> attitudes towards blindness on a daily basis, keeps my cynicism 
> fresh.
> 
>> Eight years ago I would never have thought the hardest part of 
> being
>> blind was dealing with society's perceptions and attitudes.  I 
> very
>> quickly adjusted to my blindness, and it is a part of who I am.  
> I
>> accept it just as I accept the color of my hair or my inability 
> to solve
>> a math equation quickly.  I am no more amazing than anyone else, 
> but
>> because I do things without vision, it suddenly makes me 
> exceptional.
> 
>> It is difficult to be around people, not because I am blind, but 
> because
>> others usually have problems accepting me as a person and not as 
> a blind
>> person.  Sometimes, I would rather spend time with children 
> because they
>> have an inate ability to trust and not doubt because of a 
> perceived
>> reality.
> 
>> My favorite past time these days is spending time with my nephew 
> and
>> nieces.  I must have the baby bug or something-- the biological 
> clock
>> and all.  They bring joy to my life, and yes, I must admit, I 
> talk
>> endlessly about them.
> 
>> Caiden is seven and a bit too smart for his own good.  Chloe is 
> five and
>> extremely independent, but she loves with her whole heart.  
> Kensley is
>> two, and she has the sweetest temperament, but every now and 
> then, she
>> gets a wild, mischievious glimmer in her eyes.  Penny is one and 
> full of
>> energy, but I have become a surrogate mother to her. I have 
> watched them
>> evolve from tiny beings, into real people, and it is through them 
> I see
>> where the future can lie.
> 
>> I am often met with dubious stares and hesitant concerns when 
> people
>> find out that I frequently watch my nephew and nieces.
> 
>> "How could you watch children?"
> 
>> "Isn't it difficult?"
> 
>> "Can blind people do that?"
> 
>> I hear these questions repeatedly, and depending on my mood, I 
> respond
>> accordingly.  I do not believe how insulting people can be.
> 
>> When I take the kids to the park or the mall or on a walk, people
>> usually think the kids are guiding me around.  Yes, a 
> seven-year-old,
>> five-year-old, two-year-old and a baby guide me.  We would all be 
> dead.
> 
> 
>> I wonder if people think about what they say.
> 
>> The kids never question my abilities.  Blindness is normal to 
> them.  My
>> actions speak volumes to Caiden, Chloe, Kensley and Penny.  We 
> think
>> children have mental limitations, but they understand what adults 
> can
>> not.  My babies accept me and do not doubt their safety with me.
> 
>> Caiden loves to play video games.  I think he is a bit young for 
> this,
>> but what do adults know, right?  If allowed, he would play all 
> day long.
> 
> 
>> Once, my mom was watching the kids, and in an attempt to get 
> Caiden to
>> stop the game and play outside, she told him, "If you play too 
> many
>> video games you will go blind."
> 
>> Caiden's response was, "Grandma, it's not a big deal to be blind.  
> Look
>> at Aunt Bridgy."
> 
>> With these words, I realize the impact I have on my nephew and 
> nieces.
>> They are the beginning of a generation that can break the 
> stereotypes
>> about blindness.  The efforts I make seem so small, but through 
> these
>> children, I know the effect is lasting.
> 
>> Recently Chloe has taken to walking around with her eyes closed 
> because
>> she, "Wants to be like Aunt Bridgy." Every time she is at my 
> house, she
>> insists on using a white cane to walk around with.  She is also
>> fascinated with Braille and wants to learn this tactile form of 
> print.
>> Every where she goes, she points out signs that have Braille on 
> them.
>> She has no fear.  To Chloe, blindness is just another way to 
> "be."
> 
>> Children are not caught up in their perceptions, but will believe 
> what
>> you tell them at face value.  Exposure to me has allowed my 
> nephew and
>> nieces to learn and understand that life does not stop after 
> blindness.
>> Diversity is wide, and children accept people for who they are.  
> My
>> children accept me as capable and confident-the way they view 
> other
>> adults in their lives.  In their eyes, I am no different, and 
> there is
>> no thought of limitations.
> 
>> Kensley and Penny are still grasping the fact that I do not 
> respond to
>> visual cues, like nodding their heads.  Both have quickly 
> adjusted to
>> finding other means in which to express their wants. When wanting 
> to be
>> held, they come to me and place their arms around my legs.  When 
> they
>> want to show me something like a toy, they place it in my hands. 
> Kensley
>> and Penny do not question my ability to care for them.  To them, 
> I am
>> comfort, I am love, I am security, and of course I am food!
> 
>> Sometimes, I pin a small bell to the back of their clothing so I 
> know
>> where they are, but usually their gibber-gabber gives their 
> location
>> away.  As Penny and Kensley learn to speak, they will understand 
> that
>> they must use their words, and not gestures, to communicate with 
> me.
>> These two will grow up never thinking I am odd, or doubt that I 
> can care
>> for them.
> 
>> Adults, on the other hand, do not see beyond my blindness.  The 
> world
>> created a reality in which blindness is a debilitating disability
>> leaving one limited and to be pitied.  True, not everyone buys 
> into the
>> antiquated stereotypes, and not everyone believes me inferior, 
> but, in
>> my experience, most people still cling to old notions.
> 
>> I was leaving campus one day, and a man approached me from behind 
> and
>> declared, "You are amazing!"  I knew what he meant, but I acted 
> as
>> though I had no clue.
> 
>> "What do you mean?" I asked.
> 
>> "You get around so well.  It is truly amazing you can walk."
> 
>> "Thanks, but I am blind, not paralyzed."
> 
>> "I just mean it is amazing you don't run into stuff."
> 
>> "If I didn't use this cane I would."  I proceeded down the steps 
> of the
>> fine arts building. Following behind me, he seemed poised to 
> capture a
>> blind person out of their natural environment.
> 
>> I looked up as I felt snow fall lightly on my head and face.  
> "Wow, it's
>> snowing again?"
> 
>> "See, you're amazing!  How do you know it's snowing?  It must be 
> your
>> sixth sense."
> 
>> "No, I feel it.  Can't you?"
> 
>> Diplomacy is the usual route I take, but there are times when I 
> can no
>> longer deal with the attitudes forced on me.  I try to educate-I 
> try to
>> be positive, but watch out if you catch me on a bad day.
> 
>> I stood, a few months ago,  waiting at the curb to cross the 
> street.
>> Listening to the traffic on Center street in front of me, and the
>> traffic on Paddock road to my right, I prepare to cross.  As a 
> person
>> who is blind, I listen to the sound of traffic to help me cross a
>> street, and yes, it is safe to do this.  Still not sure?  How 
> many
>> sighted people get into accidents?  I rest my case.
> 
>> Once the light changes, it won't stay green long, and I must zip 
> across.
>> I wait and wait and wait-the red light (red as in I have the 
> right-away)
>> is a freakin' fifteen-seconds long, but when traffic has the 
> green, I
>> stand here forever.  I checked the time, three o' clock on the 
> dot.
>> Come on.  I tapped my long white cane on the pavement out of 
> boredom.
> 
>> Suddenly, I'm grabbed by the elbow from behind.  With cars on 
> Center
>> Street still zooming by, a crazed pedestrian forces me into 
> oncoming
>> traffic.  I could not stop, so I continue this farce as this 
> Crazy Carla
>> dragged me across the street.  Cars whizzed and rumbled by, and I 
> had no
>> choice but to keep truckin'.
> 
>> Reaching the other side, I slapped the strangers hand away and 
> shouted,
>> "What the hell are you doing?"
> 
>> "Are you good?" Crazy Carla asked, ignoring my question.
> 
>> "Are you insane?  You can see, right?  Clearly we did not have 
> the
>> right-away.  Shit!"
> 
>> Crazy Carla, who, I swore,  was about to meet her fate back out 
> on
>> Center street , tried grabbing my arm again.
> 
>> Grabbing her wrist, I asked, "Do I know you?  No, so what gives 
> you the
>> idea I want a complete stranger touching me?"
> 
>> "Can you make it home from here?"
> 
>> I stared in her direction.  Is she deaf?
> 
>> "Uh, I think I'm good.  How the hell do you think I was getting 
> around
>> before you, like a maniac, drove me across the street?"
> 
>> "Have a good day.  Ya' sure you can get home okay?"
> 
>> Throwing my backpack down, I shouted, "O-H MY GOD!  Fuck you!"  
> Grabbing
>> my bag, I turned and stomped towards my apartment complex.
> 
>> No, I am not proud of such outburst, but I don't accept the 
> perceptions
>> society has constructed about blindness either.  I, who was 
> safely and
>> cautiously waiting to cross a busy city street, was assumed 
> incapable by
>> a sighted person who threw caution to the wind and placed me, and
>> themselves, into a dangerous situation.  Instead of thinking, 
> "Hmm, this
>> person is blind, but they are out and about on their own, they 
> must be
>> okay-they must know what they are doing," they only "see" the 
> blind girl
>> standing alone and do not get past that thought.
> 
>> My friends all have similar stories.  We are seven people 
> enjoying each
>> other's company, but because we are all blind, it is considered 
> the
>> event of the century. We range in age from twenty-five to 
> thirty-five,
>> some of us have children, all of us work, but it is an awesome
>> accomplishment that we are socializing without a sighted 
> companion.
> 
>> It is even more incredible that our conversation sounds like any 
> other
>> conversation.  This confuses our server as the girls talk about 
> what to
>> do at the mall, and the guys talk about the football game playing 
> on the
>> television.
> 
>> "You're all blind, right?" he asks.
> 
>> Seven voices chorus, "Yes."
> 
>> Message: 4
>> Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2011 09:05:46 -0800
>> From: Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com
>> Subject: [nabs-l] Philosiphy in society
>> Message-ID:
>> 	
> <AANLkTikL2J4zOC0PFjwZqC2v+UyOnOPxaKM791A3+vdZ at mail.gmail.co
> m
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
> 
>> Hi all,
>> So, I was thinking about how  what we learn in the NFb can 
> translate
>> into society.  For example,  socializing, we want to be 
> considered as
>> "normal" as the next person, but often we are asked the  general
>> blindness related questions, not  ina bad way, but because people 
> don't
>> understand something and want to know  what we do.  How do people 
> deal
>> with this?  Say, you really had a long day, and the last thing  
> you want
>> to hear is something related to blindness, but the grammys were 
> on, and
>> you wouldn't mind talking about  how a certain pop star finally 
> didn't
>> win something *smile*.  Or,  you have the weel-meaning person 
> trying to
>> direct you somewhere, when you've made it clear  that you do not 
> require
>> said assistance? How do you  handle this without getting  fairly 
> annoyed
>> and/or taking
>> it to be more serious than it's  simply ment.   I know we talk 
> about
>> the  importance of educating the public, yet   the equil 
> importance of
>> stressing normality.   How have people handled  these ideas?  How 
> does
>> one  operate keeping in mind the ideas of both living one's life 
> and
>> keep in mind the next blind person that comes along?
> 
>>   Darian
> 
> 
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