[nabs-l] Socializing

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

I can't help but notice the comments suggesting the awkwardness of
social interaction is unique to blind people, or that it is more
difficult for blind people.  I was sighted for 22 years, and I have been
blind for eight.  While I do admit much of our issues with socializing
as blind people does stem from our blindness and society's inability to
understand we are like them, the nervousness and awkwardness of
socializing is not at all unique to the blind.

Sighted people experience the exact same issues described in these post.
While the reasoning may be different at times, the feelings and emotions
are the same.

Personalities develop through our environments, and how we learn to
interact with people.  Something like blindness does not necessarily
contribute to our personality.  If you were not expected to cultivate
relationships, or you were not encouraged to participate in activities
due to your blindness, I would accept that blindness played a
contributing factor in your social awkwardness.  This being said though,
blindness, in and of itself, does not shape who we are.  I know some
will argue this, but it is not my main point.

As blind people, we should not feel that engaging with our peers is more
of a challenge than it is for the sighted.  Lots and lots of people find
it difficult to fit in, and many of these people are sighted.

As a fully sighted teen, I often found it difficult to socialize with my
peers.  I was still gaining a sense of myself, and I wasn't always sure
where I fit in.  Now in my early 30's, I no longer feel awkward about
who I am, but it can be nerve-racking to socialize with new people.
Putting yourself out there and introducing yourself to new people is not
easy.  If you never engage with people though, you do not develop
relationships that help continue build you as a person.

And I am not sure why some feel it is rude to approach people and try to
join in.  Perhaps walking into a restaurant and sitting down at an
unknown table with people would be a bit odd, but there is nothing wrong
with approaching a group especially in a setting like a bar or college
activity.  And if you know people in the group, there should be no
problem in approaching them.

I am not writing this to be argumentative, but I want to stress that any
awkwardness or discomfort you may feel in social settings, is felt by
all people, blind or sighted.  Do not think it is easier to socialize
just because you are sighted.  This is not true at all.  What you feel
as a blind person, is felt by many who are sighted too.

We say as blind people we can do all the same things, and this is true
for socializing too.  Don't worry about how people may view your
blindness.  In time, those interested in building real relationships
with you will discover that you are a normal human being who shares
common interest.  Sighted or blind, we create our own lives.  We make
decisions and shape our futures, and it is ourselves that hold us back
from experiencing the world.

I am not saying it is easy to socialize, but it isn't easy for anyone.
Even the most extraverted person feels some awkwardness on some level,
and usually this accounts for their extraverted displays.  Just do it,
as Nike says.  It still says that, right?  *smile*

Bridgit