[nabs-l] dating seaghted people Vs. Blind people?

[Kirt Manwaring]

Homberto,
  I don't think blindness should be a big factor in who you date.
Certainly there are plenty of sighted people who do understand, after
a little time with us, that us blind people have the ability to
achieve on whatever level we choose to.  It's never a good idea to
date someone who wouldn't treat you like an equal partner-and if
anyone can't accept your blindness as a characteristic rather than a
handicap, that's not the kind of person I'd want to date.
  I think good grooming is important, no matter if you're dating a
blind person or a sighted person.  First impressions count for a lot,
after all and although not every sighted person will blow you off if
you don't look clean and well-groomed, most probably will.  But I
think most blind people would, too.
  So pretty much date whoever you want.  If they're blind, that's
fine.  If they're sighted, that's fine too.  The important thing is
that you and your partner are the right fit for each other, and have
the skills to make a committed relationship work.  If the person you
date is blind and you're genuinely happy (as long as you both have the
right training to manage things), more power to you.  If the person
you date is sighted, and you're both genuinely happy with each other,
more power to you.  If it's the right thing, blindness or sight
shouldn't change anything.
  Most of the people I've dated have been sighted, most of my friends
are sighted, so when I decide I'm ready for a long-term relationship,
odds are it'll probably be with a sighted girl.  Not because sighted
people are better, but because most of my friends happen to be
sighted.  But that doesn't mean I couldn't make it work with a blind
girl if she happened to be the right one.  Either way, you can be
happy.
Take care,
Kirt

On 5/25/11, bookwormahb at earthlink.net <bookwormahb at earthlink.net> wrote:
> Humberto,
> If you are comfortable with who you are and can demonstrate you can do
> things for yourself then either partner will work.  If someone is attracted
> to you, I hope appearance would be only part of it. So go with what feels
> right.
> Ashley
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Humberto
> Sent: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 9:23 PM
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Cc: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [nabs-l] dating seaghted people Vs. Blind people?
>
> Hello dear listers,
>
> I'm wanting to know, and I've been curious about, your opinions
> on the topic stated in the subject line. I think this discussion
> has been shared already on this list a little bit but it would be
> good for us to discuss this as a matter of opinions are
> concerned.
> So, let me begin by asking, what do you think about going out
> with a sighted person Vs. a blind person? Are there any main
> differences, if any, on dating blind people or sighted people?
> Will a blind person expect to date or marry another blind person?
> If I date a sighted person, for instance, will I have to deal
> with the blindness misconceptions that people sometimes have? How
> can a blind person get that sighted person to think that the
> blind person can become a competent member of society by doing
> everything else that a sighted person can do.
> I myself have a blind girlfriend, and yes, we enjoy each other as
> much as 2 sighted people will enjoy each other's engagement. I've
> been going with her for about 4 years now, and we still keep in
> touch.
> would it be different if I make the choice to go out with a
> sighted girl, yet knowing that my blindness is just a
> characteristic? Will she understand that?
> I ask these questions only for your thoughts, and I wouldn't just
> want to start a huge debate here. I must stress, though, that if
> I do choose to date a sighted girlfriend, she must know that my
> blindness will not stop me from doing anything that I want to,
> and having high expectations.
> But is there anything that, specifically speaking, a sighted
> person looks for when he or she is trying to date a blind person,
> versus a blind person trying to date a blind person? Is personal
> gloaming a big deal for this? Have you guy gone through
> experiences like that, whether you decide to date someone who is
> sighted or who is blind? I know this might seem quite obvious,
> but I understand that, unfair or fair as it might seem, sighted
> people, the first thing they look at, is how you look. They first
> look at you visually and they know immediately whether to stick
> with one or not.
> Any thoughts? Opinions? experiences? questions?
>
> Cheers,  Humberto
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/bookwormahb%40earthlink.net
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> nabs-l:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kirt.crazydude%40gmail.com
>