[nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others

[Desiree Oudinot]

Some people are born with more empathy than others. In my opinion this
is not a learned skill unless you gain it through your own life
experiences, but even then I would venture to say that the natural
ability was there to begin with. Having empathy is not the same as
letting people walk all over you, however, as some people would have
you believe; it's demonstrating that your choices or actions may not
be the best, but you're not a terrible person for making mistakes,
either.
As blind people, we tend to engage in a lot of all or nothing
thinking: if we didn't receive rehab training at an NFB center, we're
lacking; if we acquired the necessary skills through other means than
a training center, we're stellar and must be a role model to every
blind person we meet that's somehow "less fortunate" than ourselves.
I'm a bit of an oddball on this list. I'm not a member of the NFB or
the ACB. I do not subscribe to an organization's philosophy just
because I may believe in certain aspects of it. I like to think that I
can form my own thoughts and opinions. This is probably why people
consider me so open-minded. What this all boils down to is that people
need to realize that people need help with things in their lives. We
all need each other. Ridiculing someone just because they are less
skilled than yourself, or worse yet, because they don't follow the
NFB's philosophy to the letter, is no different than bigotry in my
opinion. You might end up isolating a person who otherwise doesn't
have any support right when it's needed the most. I've been there, and
that's why I'm trying to raise awareness on this issue. Empathy,
common sense and a willingness to be understanding are all that's
needed.
Now, before some of you jump down my throat and say, "what about
people who don't want to be helped? What if I encounter a blind person
who stumbles around with no sense of direction, who walks around with
stains on their clothes and has bad personal hygiene?" You're not
going to like my response, but live and let live. If you're a positive
role model just by being yourself, that person just might come around.
If you are unable to keep your preaching to yourself, find someone who
can be a source of hope and compassion for that person. A person who's
like that probably has deep-rooted emotional problems that need
attention, not disgust and avoidance. And, if a person truly does not
want to change, well, that's their loss. We are not representative of
the blind community as a whole. No individual should have to bear the
weight of the world, and it's sad to think that some individuals
devote their lives to just that purpose. In fact, I don't think there
is a blind community. We all bring our own set of experiences,
strengths, weaknesses, abilities and insecurities to the table. We are
all human, just as a certain culture or race is made up of humans with
differing experiences, beliefs and so forth. People who have a problem
with the blind just because they've had one bad experience with a
blind person are probably prejudiced in other ways as well, so forget
them. We don't have to be their best friends, and in situations that
demand their respect, we can usually get it, just a little bit, until
the situation passes (i.e. we move on from a particular professor's
class who does not want to make reasonable accommodations, we actively
look for another job and just deal with a crappy employer if we must
pay the bills.) Basically, I guess what I'm saying is that there are
rotten people in this world. Changing them is like thinking we have
the power to make the sun rise in the west, it's not gonna happen. So,
do what you can to get away from people like that, and if that's not
feasible, try to make the best of it. And, if there truly is criminal
activity going on, it will get discovered in the end, or that person
will get what's coming to them in another way. Karma is funny that
way.
Respectfully,
Desiree

On 5/26/11, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hello all,
>    Something that I have been thinking about is how we in the NFB tend
> to treat each other when we don't understand  one's lifestyle, choice
> of phrases, thought processes.
>  It is true that  as humans we   tend to fear the unknown, and act out
> in ignorance, but sometimes I feel like it boarders on the  extreme.
> I would like to see what people find to be true in their expiriences
> and how we can be accepting of people at whatever point that they are
> at in their life expirences, education, blindness etc.
>   I would  be very interested to hear about constructive stradigies
> people have used to get this done.
>   Best,
>   Darian
>
> --
> Darian Smith
> Skype: The_Blind_Truth
> Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
> Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/goldengateace
>
> "The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
>
> — Robert Byrne
>
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