[nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others

Sat May 28 15:54:13 UTC 2011

I think I understand what you both are communicating.
 I don't believe (nor am I terribly sure that either Mike or Briley
are  actually saying)  that there is a close comparison so much to we
as blind people and  the african/black american expirience in this
nation.  I just  feel like we, as blind people will find a difficult
time finding our own versions of  Rodney King Or Oscar Grant, that
would clearly underscore  the same  emotions, concerns and the like
that as an ethnic grou  blacks face. So in a way, I  wonder if we
arn't  approachingan "apples and Oranges" situation?
 Best,
  Darian

On 5/28/11, Briley Pollard <brileyp at gmail.com> wrote:
> I think it is not always an appropriate comparison to say our struggle for
> civil rights isn't completely parallel with the black American experience,
> but we have struggled for civil rights. Go read some history on how blind
> people have been treated by families and institutions over the years. Blind
> children were targets for sexual assault in extremely high numbers because
> they were considered to be vulnerable. They were placed in horrific living
> conditions throughout history in institutions because families believed that
> blindness was equal to ineffectiveness, and that they'd never be able to
> succeed or help out their relatives. As a people group, we have suffered
> many indignities that I don't think the current generation of blind people
> even come close to realizing.
>
> Best,
> Briley
> On May 28, 2011, at 1:23 AM, Darian Smith wrote:
>
>> Mike:
>> African-Americans/blacks (however one choosses to term
>> themselves)would not have been too keen on the idea based upon how
>> they were treated by whites  up to that time.
>>  It is curious that how    african-americans were treated is always
>> one of the first ways we as blind  people choose to make our
>> comparisons in our struggle  for first-class citizanship.  I wonder,
>> were blind people  beatin and hosed down when they peacefully protest
>> the unjust ways they were treated? Were  they lybnched?  Can we safely
>> make those  comparisons?  unless  I am missing something (I could be,
>> and it wouldn't be the first or last time I have), we  have some
>> similarities with regards to civil rights, but largely our histories
>> were quite different and  the scars, deaths,risks were felt on largely
>> different levels.
>> Just  some thoughts on  the matter,and I very much appreciate the
>> question.
>>  Respectfully,
>>  Darian
>>
>> On 5/26/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
>>> Darian:
>>>
>>> What do  you think African-americans would have said during the 1950's
>>> and
>>> 1960's had one of their number said he/she would rather date a Caucasian
>>> person because of the concern for two black persons dating?
>>>
>>> Mike
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>> Behalf
>>> Of Darian Smith
>>> Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 5:49 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
>>>
>>> Jedi,
>>>  Sure-let me see...
>>> We as federationests have certain ways that we like to deal with
>>> situations, ways that we see life or phrase things in life. For example
>>> We
>>> like to use  the term "blind"  as opposed to "visually impaired" or any
>>> variant there of. We also like if a person uses products with Braille  on
>>> them (braille watches, braille compass, braille books and the like, but
>>> somehow we tend to make people who don't utilize these things seem lesser
>>> for not.
>>>  I have a friend who would much rather date a sighted  gentleman than a
>>> blind gentleman because she is concerned about the idea of two blind
>>> people
>>> dating.
>>>  Personally I may feel a certain way about  these things, but I would
>>> like
>>> to think that  it's  huge to  consider where each person is in
>>> their life and  accept them into the  fold as they are.    I am fine
>>> with educatinn,  so long as  we arn't critical and that we are accepting,
>>> because  seems to me that weas people hate to be told that we are "wrong"
>>> for thinking like we do.
>>>  Does that make sense?
>>>  Respecgfully,
>>>  Darian
>>>
>>>
>>> On 5/26/11, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Very good points.
>>>>  We as blind people are a minority, and I think it's  good to
>>>> remember that  there are other minorities out there.  How does one
>>>> member of a minority group address another member of that same group
>>>> if they don't feel that this person is acting like they should in
>>>> public?  Don't feel like this person is projecting a positive image of
>>>> the rest of that group to society?
>>>>    I believe that we all face that problem and how we deal with it
>>>> varies, but I would hope that we know enough to not  take  it   upon
>>>> ourselves to change the worlds opinions.  I think we can model  that
>>>> positive image that is with in our grasp to become, that probably is
>>>> the  healthiest way to approach this  idea of perception-changing that
>>>> we  think about alot,  Does that make sense?
>>>>  thoughts?
>>>>
>>>> On 5/26/11, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
>>>>> Excellent points.
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm going to add to that some.
>>>>>
>>>>> I've noticed that we also tend to judge a person's actions when they
>>>>> attempt to handle a vexing situation like overhelpfulness or
>>>>> discrimination. I've been doing some research on the effects of such
>>>>> judgment and have concluded that it creates an invisible audience for
>>>>> the blind person in question. This audience is made of both the blind
>>>>> and the sighted community and creates thoughts like "What will my
>>>>> blind friends and colleagues think of me if I react this or that way?
>>>>> What will the sighted person I'm talking to think? What will sighted
>>>>> bystanders think?" What this does is create a win/lose situation
>>>>> where the stakes are high. Aside from causing stress that limits
>>>>> problem-solving ability, this high stakes situation also creates a
>>>>> greater likelihood of negative response to perceived threats to the
>>>>> blind person's self-concept and sense of efficacy in the interaction.
>>>>> So for example, an overly helpful person might cause a blind person
>>>>> to feel ineffective as it is. But the invisible audience concept
>>>>> boosts that feeling considerably because of the stress involved with
>>>>> feeling like they have to show themselves as both effective and
>>>>> graceful in handling both the offers of help and the person who's
>>>>> offering it. Is any of this making sense? So the bottom line is that
>>>>> by trying to be the perfect ambassador for the blind, we may be
>>>>> shooting ourselves in the foot by creating such a high stakes
>>>>> situation in our mind that the stress lowers our ability to present
>>>>> the cool, calm, and effective image we want to offer to the public.
>>>>>
>>>>> On that note, I've noticed that our community seems to have it in our
>>>>> heads that we're responsible for how the sighted feel about us. The
>>>>> truth is that there are limits to that responsibility. Sure, we want
>>>>> to set a good impression in all areas, but so does everyone else. The
>>>>> sad truth is that we are judged based on the actions of one person.
>>>>> But the thing is, there's nothing that we can really do about that
>>>>> except to expose a given sighted person to the diversity of our
>>>>> population. Even if we set the perfect impression, it's likely that
>>>>> the sighted person will still stereotype by saying that we're all
>>>>> amazing or that the one individual in question is the exception to a
>>>>> rule. It seems to me that the only people who really get that we're
>>>>> as diverse as they are are those who know how to deconstruct
>>>>> society's grand narrative or are those who have seen enough diversity
>>>>> in our population to realize that they can't judge all of us based on
>>>>> one
>>> person.
>>>>>
>>>>> Respectfully,
>>>>> Jedi
>>>>>
>>>>> Original message:
>>>>>> That makes perfect sense, but we should not fall into the trap of
>>>>>> taking responsibility for others' actions. When we do that, we lose
>>>>>> sight of our own goals and direction in life. Unless you're a
>>>>>> therapist, or a rehab teacher working with people like that, it is
>>>>>> not your job to fix them. Even as a therapist or teacher, your place
>>>>>> is to be a mentor and an instructor. As I previously said, if that
>>>>>> person, after being shown compassion and alternative ways of
>>>>>> thinking, doing and living chooses to fall back into old patterns as
>>>>>> soon as the instructor's back is turned, that shows a lack of
>>>>>> respect for everyone around them, including themselves. So if a
>>>>>> person wants to wallow in misery and self-pity, let them! That
>>>>>> person will either fall hard when they find out their parents/family
>>>>>> members/significant other or what have you can't take care of them
>>>>>> forever, and then they'll realize what needs to happen in due time,
>>>>>> or they will get sick of the status quo and want to change it. And
>>>>>> if people hold it against a decent blind person because they've met
>>>>>> a person like that in the past, it's not worth it to try and make
>>>>>> them feel any differently. They will either come around in time or
>>>>>> they
>>> won't. Choice is the key word here.
>>>>>> Everyone is free to think as they choose so long as it's not hurting
>>>>>> anyone. So, while it might temporarily sting a bit to lose out on a
>>>>>> potential friendship due to someone's ignorance, as soon as you meet
>>>>>> someone who's worth your time, you forget about that other person
>>>>>> real quick
>>>>>
>>>>>> On 5/26/11, Daniel Romero <djdan567 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> I think the reason why this might go down is because of the view
>>>>>>> that we get from the public in general. Most people who are sighted
>>>>>>> are not used to a blind person. You have to understand that one
>>>>>>> blind person being seen is a huge thing. They're now reliable for
>>>>>>> what a person thinks about blind people. They are the ones setting
>>>>>>> an example. So if you have a blind person who smells bad, rocks,
>>>>>>> pokes their eyes or just do not have the proper skills, the outside
>>>>>>> person will make an assumtion and say that all blind people are
>>>>>>> like that. i'm not saying it's right for blind people to call out
>>>>>>> other blind people with a skills set that is lower then theirs,
>>>>>>> they're just calling them out because they are representing blind
>>>>>>> people. It puts a bad label on us blind people who do take care of
>>>>>>> ourselves, have the skills to be independent and succeed. like i
>>>>>>> said, i'm not saying it's right but I don't think us who do have
>>>>>>> the skills want to have a negative conotation. Not all blind people
>>>>>>> poke their eyes, rock, hop, twitch,bump into everything, smell bad,
>>>>>>> do not clean their own clothes, or anything like that. So to be
>>>>>>> part of a group that's going to display such a view that is
>>>>>>> negative to the public, we fall right behind that. Am I making sense?
>>>>>
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>>>>>
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>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Darian Smith
>>>> Skype: The_Blind_Truth
>>>> Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com Follow me on twitter:
>>>> http://twitter.com/goldengateace
>>>>
>>>> "The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
>>>>
>>>> - Robert Byrne
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Darian Smith
>>> Skype: The_Blind_Truth
>>> Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
>>> Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/goldengateace
>>>
>>> "The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
>>>
>>> - Robert Byrne
>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> Darian Smith
>> Skype: The_Blind_Truth
>> Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
>> Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/goldengateace
>>
>> "The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
>>
>> — Robert Byrne
>>
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>
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-- 
Darian Smith
Skype: The_Blind_Truth
Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/goldengateace

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose.

— Robert Byrne