[nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
Kirt Manwaring
kirt.crazydude at gmail.com
Sat May 28 22:57:48 UTC 2011
Mike,
I'm no more determined to "find fault" with the NFB than with any
organization, secular, eclesiastical, political or otherwise. I'm
active in the Federation because I agree with most of the philosophy
most of the time, which is something I personally can't say about ACB.
Does that make them wrong? Certainly not to them. Should I commit
myself 100 percent to any organization? Hell no! But that's just me.
And I call myself a Federationist because, so far, I've not been able
to find a (generally speaking) more compitent and capable group of
blind people and I mostly agree with most Federationists about most
issues relating to blindness. That's enough of a reason for me to
participate and join my voice with the organization in collective
action.
As far as the dating thing goes...I'd submit that was a great
example of how we ought to handle things. Joshua was honest, we were
honest, we weren't trying to make him feel worthless or wrong, we were
telling him how we think about the issue and trying to build him up.
That's a fine example of constructive preaching...on the other hand,
if we'd insulted him, called him incompitent, told him he was being a
bad
ambasador of blindness...I suspect it wouldn't have gone over nearly
so well. Yet that's what I've seen some blind people, in and out of
the federation, say to other blind people with whom they disagree.
And Mike, I think the Federation as an organization is actually
pretty good at this. It's just certain individual Federationists that
I've seen tear people down rather than building them up-that's not the
Federation's fault! A few bad apples don't reflect any group as a
whole. But does that mean we act like they don't exist? And if I say
the organization could be better in certain areas, does that make me
less of a Federationist? I don't think so and I suspect you don't,
either.
Warmly,
Kirt
On 5/28/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
> Kirt:
>
> I agree with you almost entirely. Now that I've heard your parents' story,
> perhaps I understand a bit more why you seem bound and determined to find
> fault withus (the NFB). All I can say is that the Federation, as all other
> organizations on Mother Earth, are made of human beings (I'm not counting
> crows or ants or monkeys or chimps here). As such, we're not perfect. I know
> several very fine Federationists whom I would steer new members away from
> (no names, please) until these new members had a bit of leavening in our
> philosophy and ways so as to understand where the Federationists I'm
> speaking of are coming from. So what? That's life in the fast lane.
>
> I know of persons in my state who were Federationists thirty-odd years ago
> and who, because of one or two incidents back then, are suspicious of
> everything the Federation does now. It's almost as if everyone expects the
> Federation to be perfect and immutable and when it is not, blames it for
> misfortunes that befall them, maintaining that it is the NFB philosophy of
> blindness that is to blame rather than all-too-fallible members of homo
> sapiens sapiens from whom NFB and every other organization draw their
> memberships. Is it any wonder that we who have been elected to the NFB
> leadership express some frustration? It often seems to me, at least, that we
> are confronted with "heads I win; tails you lose" Such double-binds are
> double-plus unfair. "Don't you *dare* try to convince me of the rightness of
> your philosophy or I'll call you militant, radical, uncaring, boorish,
> unethical, dastardly, thoughtless, unloving and any other pejorative
> adjectives I can think of!". I'm sorry but that ain't fair.
>
> To be sure, I don't try to convince died-in-the-wool ACB members that they
> are wrong; they have a right to believe as they wish and to express
> themselves and to organize to bring pressure on the Powers that Be to get
> their ideas implemented. But I don't have to take it lying down if I think
> the issue of sufficient importance.
>
> I once read a letter from Dr. Maurer to a now-committed Federationist who
> wrote to him expressing great doubt about the efficacy of NFB philosophy and
> asked for reading material. Obviously, dr. maurer sent it along with a
> letter, part of which said something that might surprise you. He said: "I'd
> rather have you join ACB than join nothing. In this country, we make our
> voices heard through collective action and by joining either ACB or NFB, you
> have a chance to make your voice count.". I agree with this completely.
>
> Does this mean that a non-joiner can't have influence? Certainly not.
> However, given the political structure in this country, many voices have
> more influence than one voice.
>
> Do I think everyone should join an organization of the blind? I think we
> could get a lot done were this so. But it isn't going to happen and to force
> the issue would be to negate the very freedoms and dignity that we're
> fighting for. However, those who do not join and who then complain I
> consider morally bankrupt. In effect, I consider the phrase "silent
> majority" to be an oxymoron. By definition, the only people who count
> politically are those who speak up. How else is one to know what the "silent
> majority" really wants? Both sides in any debate claim that they speak for
> it. It is in this sense that we of NFB say we speak for the blind. ACB says
> it also. And we're both right.
>
>
> But bback to the initial intent of this thread. I don't know where all of
> you get the idea that we of NFB are continually attacking the ACB. Frankly,
> I don't even think about ACB most of the time (a state of affairs which
> galls them immensely). ACB can do its thing and as long as it doesn't
> adversely impact NFB's goals, it's OK with me. If its actions *do* impact
> them, I'll fight them. For the most part, however, we just go our separate
> ways.
>
> But to say that we of NFB shouldn't say what we think (assuming that we're
> not being petty or cruel) is applying a double-standard of behavior sinceACB
> often compares itself favorably to us and no one says a thing.
>
> Finally, let's cut to the chase here. And here I *will* use names. Humberto
> Avila asked a question about dating blind versus sighted people. A lively
> thread ensued in which Joshua Lester was honest enough to reveal his
> frustrations and insecurities. Should we have simply said "yeah; ain't it
> awful!" and gone on our way?or should we have challenged his beliefs just a
> bit (as we did), causing him to defend his views and, in the process, think
> them through at least a bit? We debate damned near everything else on this
> list. Why should this thread be exempt? I don't think any of us were
> denigrating Joshua. In fact, I venture to say that we were trying to be
> encouraging. In effect, we were saying "think out of the box!". Obviously,
> being challenged with new ideas can be a bit uncomfortable. But Joshua did
> not appear to me to take offense. If he did, we owe him an apology. But was
> it better to try to expand his horizons (something his messages practically
> begged us to do) or just ignore them. IMO it could go either way.
>
> Mike
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Kirt Manwaring
> Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 1:10 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
>
> Mike,
> That makes a lot of sense...I find myself agreeing with you. Mostly.
> The only thing I'd say is there's a difference between constructive
> preaching and destructive preaching. It's good, even necessary, to spread
> our philosophy. Just like my church sends out missionaries by the thousands
> to spread what we believe is the gospel, millions of Christians around the
> world get involved with outreach ministries and procelyting, and so forth.
> As you say, that's human nature and when people try and build up their own
> philosophy by spreading the message to others, I say it's a beautiful thing.
> The problem is destructive preaching. So when a Mormon missionary
> deliberately attacks another church, when a Christian minister decides to
> burn the Qu'ran instead of talking about Christ, or when a Federationist
> goes out of his way to smear the Council instead of strengthening the
> Federation. I get that there are times the Federaion and Council are in
> conflict because it's what our respective philosophies demand. (even if the
> ACB doesn't have a national philosophy, strictly speaking) But in that
> conflict, when it happens, it critical that we stand by our own message
> rather than going out of our way to destroy theirs. America's a free market
> of ideas-strengthening our own position will serve us better than weakening
> anyone else's. Of course, you know how that all translates in to the
> political realm and I suspect it doesn't always translate well.
> But I think, especially on a personal level, we live our philosophy and we
> share it. That doesn't mean we make an effort to call them out or make them
> feel like their beliefs are wrong. If their beliefs are wrong, better for
> them to realize it in time if they're the kind of person that will...if they
> aren't, why not let it rest and try to get along? t the veeat, say godbye
> and avoid an unpleasant confrontation if you know the other person won't
> bend. I recognize that philosophy doesn't always work when dealing with
> other organizations but, when dealing with individuals, I don't see why it
> can't. Isn't it better to live a life as a respectable blind person, answer
> questions as they're presented, maybe talk a little about the Federation if
> it comes up and let them decide what they want? If they accept it, great!
> If not, that's ok too. I know plenty of respectable blind people outside
> the Federation-our way isn't the only ay for people to become independent
> and empowered. Maybe another way is honestly better for someone else. And,
> if they don't want that independence and empowerment after it's been offered
> kindly and respectfully, isn't it better just to drop the subject and try to
> be friends? Who knows,maybe they'd come around eventually. An angry debate
> certainly wouldn't help that happen.
> In closing, I'd like to share an experience that kept me out of the NFB
> for a long time, even though it didn't happen to me. My parents found out I
> was blind a w months after I was born. Naturally those first few years were
> really difficult for them, I can't imagine what that's like for a parent.
> Anyways my mom decided she wanted to be an O&M instructor, so she went to
> school in Arizona. While there, she was introduced to the Federation and
> went to a meeting. The way she told me the story, a blind woman approached
> her and said "I'm going to tell you something important. Your son is blind.
> You are not. So you'll never be able to understand him as much as we can."
> Had that first introduction to the Federation been more respectful, I
> suspect I'd be a lifetime member. As it stands now, my parents are still a
> little on guard around the Federation (although they certainly support my
> involvement), and they themselves are not Federationists. I often wonder
> how much more involved they would be had that first introduction gone just a
> little bit differently.
> Warmly,
> Kirt
>
> On 5/28/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
>> Kirt:
>>
>> I agree that, ideally at least, we should live and let live. In fact,
>> as a practical matter, that is what is done here in the state of
>> Washington: the NFB of Washington and the Washington Council of the
>> Blind work together when we can -- often rather closely -- but we
>> agree to disagree on some matters and as long as no one stirs the pot,
>> we tend to stay out of each other's way on matters on which we
>> disagree, if only because neither organization has sufficient political
> clout to prevail easily when we work at cross-purposes.
>> But you can bet your life that if WCB actively pushed something that
>> was totally against NFB policy, we of NFB would try to defeat WCB's
>> effort. In like fashion, I am certain that WCB would do the same viz.
>> our efforts if they directly contradicted some ACB policy that WCB
>> members held dear. That isn't really a problem in that Mitch
>> Pomerantz, President of ACB, himself said that ACB stands for no
>> organized philosophy and ACB doesn't enforce unified policy directives
>> on its affiliates. In other words, the problem hasn't arisen here --
>> at least not in the past twenty-five years. And the threats to
>> blindness agencies in this state have been of sufficient magnitude
>> that we (NFBW and WCB) were on the same side, even if we love some the
> agencies a bit less than do members of WCB; there was no alternative.
>>
>> Having said this, I don't believe that the lack of effectiveness in
>> the black civil rights movement of the late 1960's was due to
>> fragmented voices within that movement. Rather, I think it was due in
>> some measure to martin Luther King Jr.'s scattering his shots --
>> coming out against the Vietnam War and for anti-poverty initiatives,
>> for example, instead of keeping his "eye on the prize" as the PBS
>> history of the civil rights movement is called. I think there was room
>> enough for many voices in the civil rights movement although I confess
>> that many WASPs such as I were turned off big-time by Stoakley
>> Carmichael, H. Rap Brown, bobby Seal, Eldrige Cleaver and other persons of
> like mind.
>>
>> I think the comparison by some of our detractors of NFB to a religion
>> is much overblown. However, I think the comparison is valid to this
>> extent: if one truly applied your "live and let live" and "preach by
> example"
>> philosophy -- quite admirable in the abstract -- to religion, there
>> would be no missionaries, no jihad, no outreach ministries, and the
>> like. Put another way, it's human nature to try to reach out to
>> convince those with whom we disagree or those whom we would convert.
>> "gospel" means "good news", after all.
>>
>> Does this mean that we should look down upon blind people who do not
>> have the skills of blindness? Of course not. They, like we, are
>> "Within the Grace of God" as tenBroek's speech is entitled. Does this
>> mean that there are not alternative ways to look at the problems of
> blindness? Again, of course not.
>> But let us remember that we of NFB are out to do nothing less than to
>> change society -- to obliterate the stereotype of the "helpless blind
>> person" and the discriminatory treatment, blighted hopes and missed
>> opportunities that flow from this misbegotten stereotype. And in the
>> United States, change is effected by banding together in associations
>> of like mind to advocate for those policies we believe in. This is not
>> an undertaking of passivity. For better or worse, advocacy involves,
>> to some extent at least, preaching. Of course this does not mean that
>> we should be intolerant or maintain that there are no other
>> viewpoints. But it *also* doesn't mean that we refrain from
>> passionately advocating for what we believe in. that's the way things get
> done in this country.
>>
>> How this all plays out at a personal level isn't always easy to
>> fathom. As I've said before, no one ever said being a Federationist
>> was easy. But I submit that *not* saying anything -- even if only
>> words of encouragement -- when we find injustice, erroneous
>> stereotypes and persons selling themselves short -- is contrary to what we
> have pledged ourselves to accomplish.
>>
>> WE should never be obnoxious or boorish. But saying nothing is itself
>> making a statement.
>>
>> What this all amounts to is espousal of the Serenity Prayer: "O god:
>> give me the strength to change the things I can, the patience to
>> accept the things I cannot and the wisdom to discern the difference.".
>>
>> Mike
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Kirt Manwaring
>> Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 10:36 AM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
>>
>> Mike,
>> In the African-american struggle for huma rights, there were/are
>> lots of different philosophies and approaches taken by a lot of
>> different people-you probably know more about that than me having
>> lived through a lot of the craziness. Do you think more could've
>> happened faster if...say, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X spent less
>> time bickering and more time cooperating or, at the very least,
>> ignoring each other? I'm not denying that both of them did a lot to
>> better the condition of black people...but imagine what could've
>> happened if the two of them didn't take so long to reconcile-or, if
>> nothing else, if they didn't spend time attacking each others'
>> philosophies and devoted that energy to their respective movements?
>> Could that comparison be aplicable to us? Am I remiss when I say
>> that we in NFB sometimes spend too much time attacking the
>> philosophies of other blind people rather than advancing our own
>> philosophy? Am I remiss in saying that many in the ACB spend more
>> time trying to tear down the Federation instead of building up the
>> Council? Why can't we, if nothing else, leave each other alone and
>> spend all our time working on our own goals?
>> Maybe we could take that comparison further, to incolude individual
>> blind people who disagree with us. Ideally we should try to engage in
>> constructive dialogue and find some sort of common ground with people
>> who disagree and, for example, have next to no travel or daily living
> skills.
>> After all, we hope they'll "see the light", so to speak, and become
>> empowered with good training. But let's say they don't accept our
>> philosophy...whether they're compitent blind people or not, let's say
>> they want nothing to do with the Federation. I say first we try and
>> learn whatever we can from them, no matter their skills and atitude
>> (or lack thereof). Once we've learned something from them, even if
>> it's as simple as "I need to have better cane skills" or "this guy has
>> terrible hygiene-at least I know now why it's so important to take
>> showers!", then I think we try and let them learn from us. That can
>> either be by talking or by them looking at our example...if they
>> chose to not accept our world view, there's no reason to get angry and
>> defensive. There is still probably common ground somewhere and, even
>> in the highly unlikely event you can't find any (which is probably due
>> to you not looking hard enough), just ignore the person and move on.
>> If we can't be friends, there's no reason to be enemies...live and let
>> live, and all that jazz.
>> Warmly,
>> Kirt
>>
>> On 5/28/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
>>> I know of no site that has everything gathered in one place. However,
>>> you could do worse than to read Dr. Floyd Matson's book, "Walking
>>> Alone and marching together" (available on the NFB website and via
>>> the NLS Web-braille
>>> site) and, if you'd wish to see the alternative point-of-view, James
>>> McGivern's "People of Vision: a History of the american Council of
>>> the Blind", also available from the NLS Web-braille and BARD sites.
>>>
>>> It might also behoove us all to reread or re-listen-to the NFB
>>> convention banquet speechdes of Drs. tenBroke, Jernigan and Maurer.
>>>
>>> I know that's a lot of reading but no one ever said Federationism was
>> easy!
>>> (huge grin)
>>>
>>> Mike
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>> Behalf Of Josh Gregory
>>> Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 10:07 AM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
>>>
>>> Is there a site with... the history of blind people and what they
>>> went through? I'm curious now, this is a good thread.
>>> Josh
>>>
>>> sent from my Apex
>>> Email: joshkart12 at gmail.com
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com
>>> To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> Date sent: Sat, 28 May 2011 09:52:47 -0700
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
>>>
>>> Although I was never subject to one, I can still remember when, at
>>> late as the 1960's, welfare workers conducted "night raids" with the
>>> help of the police wherein said workers would visit blind clients and
>>> go through their homes to make sure that nothing had been bought that
>>> would indicate that the clients had unreported income. This extended
>>> even to such items as a new dress.
>>>
>>> I echo Briley's sentiments that many today have no concept of what
>>> went down in the past.
>>>
>>> Mike
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Briley Pollard
>>> Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 7:28 AM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
>>>
>>> I think it is not always an appropriate comparison to say our
>>> struggle for civil rights isn't completely parallel with the black
>>> American experience, but we have struggled for civil rights. Go read
>>> some history on how blind people have been treated by families and
>>> institutions over the years. Blind children were targets for sexual
>>> assault in extremely high numbers because they were considered to be
>>> vulnerable. They were placed in horrific living conditions
>>> throughout history in institutions because families believed that
>>> blindness was equal to ineffectiveness, and that they'd never be able
>>> to succeed or help out their relatives. As a people group, we have
>>> suffered many indignities that I don't think the current generation
>>> of blind people even come close to realizing.
>>>
>>> Best,
>>> Briley
>>> On May 28, 2011, at 1:23 AM, Darian Smith wrote:
>>>
>>> Mike:
>>> African-Americans/blacks (however one choosses to term
>>> themselves)would not have been too keen on the idea based upon how
>>> they were treated by whites up to that time.
>>> It is curious that how african-americans were treated is
>>> always
>>> one of the first ways we as blind people choose to make our
>>> comparisons in our struggle for first-class citizanship. I wonder,
>>> were blind people beatin and hosed down when they peacefully protest
>>> the unjust ways they were treated? Were they lybnched? Can we
>>> safely make those comparisons? unless I am missing something (I
>>> could be, and it wouldn't be the first or last time I have), we have
>>> some similarities with regards to civil rights, but largely our
>>> histories were quite different and the scars, deaths,risks were felt
>>> on largely different levels.
>>> Just some thoughts on the matter,and I very much appreciate the
>>> question.
>>> Respectfully,
>>> Darian
>>>
>>> On 5/26/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
>>> Darian:
>>>
>>> What do you think African-americans would have said during the
>>> 1950's and 1960's had one of their number said he/she would rather
>>> date a Caucasian person because of the concern for two black persons
>>> dating?
>>>
>>> Mike
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Darian Smith
>>> Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 5:49 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
>>>
>>> Jedi,
>>> Sure-let me see...
>>> We as federationests have certain ways that we like to deal with
>>> situations, ways that we see life or phrase things in life. For
>>> example We like to use the term "blind" as opposed to "visually
>>> impaired" or any variant there of. We also like if a person uses
>>> products with Braille on them (braille watches, braille compass,
>>> braille books and the like, but somehow we tend to make people who
>>> don't utilize these things seem lesser for not.
>>> I have a friend who would much rather date a sighted gentleman
>>> than a blind gentleman because she is concerned about the idea of two
>>> blind people dating.
>>> Personally I may feel a certain way about these things, but I
>>> would like to think that it's huge to consider where each person is in
>>> their life and accept them into the fold as they are. I am
>>> fine
>>> with educatinn, so long as we arn't critical and that we are
>>> accepting, because seems to me that weas people hate to be told that
>>> we are "wrong"
>>> for thinking like we do.
>>> Does that make sense?
>>> Respecgfully,
>>> Darian
>>>
>>>
>>> On 5/26/11, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Very good points.
>>> We as blind people are a minority, and I think it's good to
>>> remember that there are other minorities out there. How does one
>>> member of a minority group address another member of that same group
>>> if they don't feel that this person is acting like they should in
>>> public? Don't feel like this person is projecting a positive image
>>> of the rest of that group to society?
>>> I believe that we all face that problem and how we deal with it
>>> varies, but I would hope that we know enough to not take it upon
>>> ourselves to change the worlds opinions. I think we can model that
>>> positive image that is with in our grasp to become, that probably is
>>> the healthiest way to approach this idea of perception-changing
>>> that we think about alot, Does that make sense?
>>> thoughts?
>>>
>>> On 5/26/11, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
>>> Excellent points.
>>>
>>> I'm going to add to that some.
>>>
>>> I've noticed that we also tend to judge a person's actions when
>>> they attempt to handle a vexing situation like overhelpfulness or
>>> discrimination. I've been doing some research on the effects of
>>> such judgment and have concluded that it creates an invisible
>>> audience for the blind person in question. This audience is made of
>>> both the blind and the sighted community and creates thoughts like
>>> "What will my blind friends and colleagues think of me if I react
>>> this or that way?
>>> What will the sighted person I'm talking to think? What will
>>> sighted bystanders think?" What this does is create a win/lose
>>> situation where the stakes are high. Aside from causing stress that
>>> limits problem-solving ability, this high stakes situation also
>>> creates a greater likelihood of negative response to perceived
>>> threats to the blind person's self-concept and sense of efficacy in the
> interaction.
>>> So for example, an overly helpful person might cause a blind person
>>> to feel ineffective as it is. But the invisible audience concept
>>> boosts that feeling considerably because of the stress involved with
>>> feeling like they have to show themselves as both effective and
>>> graceful in handling both the offers of help and the person who's
>>> offering it. Is any of this making sense? So the bottom line is
>>> that by trying to be the perfect ambassador for the blind, we may be
>>> shooting ourselves in the foot by creating such a high stakes
>>> situation in our mind that the stress lowers our ability to present
>>> the cool, calm, and effective image we want to offer to the public.
>>>
>>> On that note, I've noticed that our community seems to have it in
>>> our heads that we're responsible for how the sighted feel about us.
>>> The truth is that there are limits to that responsibility.
>>> Sure, we
>>> want to set a good impression in all areas, but so does everyone
>>> else. The sad truth is that we are judged based on the actions of
>>> one person.
>>> But the thing is, there's nothing that we can really do about that
>>> except to expose a given sighted person to the diversity of our
>>> population. Even if we set the perfect impression, it's likely that
>>> the sighted person will still stereotype by saying that we're all
>>> amazing or that the one individual in question is the exception to a
>>> rule. It seems to me that the only people who really get that we're
>>> as diverse as they are are those who know how to deconstruct
>>> society's grand narrative or are those who have seen enough
>>> diversity in our population to realize that they can't judge all of
>>> us based on one person.
>>>
>>> Respectfully,
>>> Jedi
>>>
>>> Original message:
>>> That makes perfect sense, but we should not fall into the trap of
>>> taking responsibility for others' actions. When we do that, we lose
>>> sight of our own goals and direction in life. Unless you're a
>>> therapist, or a rehab teacher working with people like that, it is
>>> not your job to fix them. Even as a therapist or teacher, your
>>> place is to be a mentor and an instructor. As I previously said, if
>>> that person, after being shown compassion and alternative ways of
>>> thinking, doing and living chooses to fall back into old patterns as
>>> soon as the instructor's back is turned, that shows a lack of
>>> respect for everyone around them, including themselves.
>>> So
>>> if a person wants to wallow in misery and self-pity, let them!
>>> That person will either fall hard when they find out their
>>> parents/family members/significant other or what have you can't take
>>> care of them forever, and then they'll realize what needs to happen
>>> in due time, or they will get sick of the status quo and want to
>>> change it. And if people hold it against a decent blind person
>>> because they've met a person like that in the past, it's not worth
>>> it to try and make them feel any differently. They will either come
>>> around in time or they won't. Choice is the key word here.
>>> Everyone is free to think as they choose so long as it's not
>>> hurting anyone. So, while it might temporarily sting a bit to lose
>>> out on a potential friendship due to someone's ignorance, as soon as
>>> you meet someone who's worth your time, you forget about that other
>>> person real quick
>>>
>>> On 5/26/11, Daniel Romero <djdan567 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> I think the reason why this might go down is because of the view
>>> that we get from the public in general. Most people who are sighted
>>> are not used to a blind person. You have to understand that one
>>> blind person being seen is a huge thing. They're now reliable for
>>> what a person thinks about blind people. They are the ones setting
>>> an example. So if you have a blind person who smells bad, rocks,
>>> pokes their eyes or just do not have the proper skills, the outside
>>> person will make an assumtion and say that all blind people are like
>>> that. i'm not saying it's right for blind people to call out other
>>> blind people with a skills set that is lower then theirs, they're
>>> just calling them out because they are representing blind people.
>>> It puts a bad label on us blind people who do take care of
>>> ourselves, have the skills to be independent and succeed. like i
>>> said, i'm not saying it's right but I don't think us who do have the
>>> skills want to have a negative conotation. Not all blind people
>>> poke their eyes, rock, hop, twitch,bump into everything, smell bad,
>>> do not clean their own clothes, or anything like that. So to be part
>>> of a group that's going to display such a view that is negative to
>>> the public, we fall right behind that. Am I making sense?
>>>
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