[nabs-l] Grabbing Etc.

[Sam Hogle]

Actually, I've had the opposite problem. For some reason, guides think 
they have to go slower. The funny thing is they think I can't walk at a 
normal pace, but they also think I can see the curbs we walk up or down. 
I will never understand people.
On 11/7/2011 11:50 PM, Joshua Lester wrote:
> Wow!
> Arielle, you've been through it!
> That's not necessary, that they do those things!
> I've been through alot of stuff regarding this, as well.
> I've also had guides go faster than I'm accustomed to, and I've
> fallen, because they didn't go at my pace.
> I always tell people, if they guide me, that they must go at my pace.
> Blessings, Joshua
>
> On 11/7/11, Arielle Silverman<arielle71 at gmail.com>  wrote:
>> Hi all,
>> I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but for me, being
>> grabbed or pulled by the arm or back is more than just a dignity
>> issue; it's a safety issue as well. I have always had poor balance,
>> and when someone is putting pressure on one side of my body, or
>> propelling me from behind, I feel unsafe and unbalanced. If I were to
>> bump into an obstacle or trip while being pulled this way, I feel I
>> would have a much harder time regaining my balance. For some reason,
>> many sighted people think leading me this way is helpful, but in fact
>> it's not only unnecessary, but makes safe and efficient travel more
>> challenging for me. For example, I went on a white-water rafting trip
>> in high school and one of the river guides tried to pull me up into
>> the boat by my arm. I felt unbalanced and asked him to let go of my
>> arm and let me get into the raft by myself. The guide told me to stop
>> arguing with him and pulled me up into the boat. As I was getting in,
>> my foot slipped and I wasn't able to stabilize myself because of the
>> one-sided pressure on my body. I fell and bruised my leg, and was
>> incredibly annoyed that the guide didn't listen to me. I also feel
>> very unsafe when people attempt to grab my left arm because I am a
>> left-handed cane user and my cane arc is impaired when they do this.
>> The absolute worst is when someone grabs me without any verbal
>> communication at all, such as a bus driver who grabbed me by both
>> shoulders without saying a word because he thought I was going to run
>> into a pole that my cane had just barely cleared. Needless to say, the
>> silent grab scares me to death!
>> Because of these experiences, I have learned to dig my feet in and
>> will not follow someone who is grabbing or pulling me, especially if
>> they are holding on to my cane arm. I will politely ask them to let
>> go, and most people are just shocked that I don't want them to do
>> that, especially if I have asked them for verbal directions.
>> Unfortunately, many people think the only way to "help" a blind person
>> is through this kind of physical maneuvering. Sometimes if I ask
>> someone for information or directions, they will answer my question
>> and then say, "Do you want me to help you?" I guess implying they are
>> offering to physically lead me there. I will of course tell them they
>> have already helped me a lot with the directions and that I really
>> appreciate their help and don't need any more. If someone does the
>> silent grab, or if they refuse to let go after a polite request to do
>> so, then I will gently but firmly disengage my arm. Fortunately this
>> has been very effective. If time allows I will give a simple
>> explanation for not wanting to be grabbed, such as "Please don't grab
>> me-it makes me feel off-balance" or "Please don't grab me-it's easier
>> for me if you just walk beside me" etc. I do think that most people
>> are just very ignorant and don't necessarily grab out of pity, but
>> because they believe that grabbing is the most effective way to
>> provide guidance to the blind. I try to educate them and some
>> definitely do understand. I do feel guilty about times when I have
>> snapped at people and not had the time to explain, such as when
>> crossing a street or getting on a bus. But even though I feel bad, I
>> don't regret my action because to me, it's a matter of safety above
>> all else. I've also found that in some circumstances it's actually
>> more efficient to do things independently than to be "helped". For
>> instance, I went to get a pedicure a few weeks ago and the pedicurist
>> insisted on putting my shoes and coat back on me after the pedicure
>> was over. I tried to politely refuse, but she wouldn't hear it. Thing
>> is, for whatever reason she was very methodical in putting my shoes
>> on, and it took her about twice as long to do it as it would have if I
>> had done it myself.
>> Incidentally, I've never understood why some people get confused about
>> sighted guide and think the technique is for them to grab my elbow and
>> walk a step behind me. Even when I teach people the proper way, they
>> will occasionally "get it backwards" and want to grab my elbow
>> instead. Isn't it a lot harder to lead or guide someone if you're
>> behind them than if you're in front of them?
>> Best,
>> Arielle
>>
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