[nabs-l] Grabbing Etc.

Tue Nov 8 05:10:38 UTC 2011

LOL!
My brother guides me all around Walmart, and he likes to go faster
than I can go.
He doesn't understand that I can't walk at a normal pace, because of a
Syatic Nerve problem.
Blessings, Joshua

On 11/7/11, Sam Hogle <hogle.sam at gmail.com> wrote:
> Actually, I've had the opposite problem. For some reason, guides think
> they have to go slower. The funny thing is they think I can't walk at a
> normal pace, but they also think I can see the curbs we walk up or down.
> I will never understand people.
> On 11/7/2011 11:50 PM, Joshua Lester wrote:
>> Wow!
>> Arielle, you've been through it!
>> That's not necessary, that they do those things!
>> I've been through alot of stuff regarding this, as well.
>> I've also had guides go faster than I'm accustomed to, and I've
>> fallen, because they didn't go at my pace.
>> I always tell people, if they guide me, that they must go at my pace.
>> Blessings, Joshua
>>
>> On 11/7/11, Arielle Silverman<arielle71 at gmail.com>  wrote:
>>> Hi all,
>>> I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but for me, being
>>> grabbed or pulled by the arm or back is more than just a dignity
>>> issue; it's a safety issue as well. I have always had poor balance,
>>> and when someone is putting pressure on one side of my body, or
>>> propelling me from behind, I feel unsafe and unbalanced. If I were to
>>> bump into an obstacle or trip while being pulled this way, I feel I
>>> would have a much harder time regaining my balance. For some reason,
>>> many sighted people think leading me this way is helpful, but in fact
>>> it's not only unnecessary, but makes safe and efficient travel more
>>> challenging for me. For example, I went on a white-water rafting trip
>>> in high school and one of the river guides tried to pull me up into
>>> the boat by my arm. I felt unbalanced and asked him to let go of my
>>> arm and let me get into the raft by myself. The guide told me to stop
>>> arguing with him and pulled me up into the boat. As I was getting in,
>>> my foot slipped and I wasn't able to stabilize myself because of the
>>> one-sided pressure on my body. I fell and bruised my leg, and was
>>> incredibly annoyed that the guide didn't listen to me. I also feel
>>> very unsafe when people attempt to grab my left arm because I am a
>>> left-handed cane user and my cane arc is impaired when they do this.
>>> The absolute worst is when someone grabs me without any verbal
>>> communication at all, such as a bus driver who grabbed me by both
>>> shoulders without saying a word because he thought I was going to run
>>> into a pole that my cane had just barely cleared. Needless to say, the
>>> silent grab scares me to death!
>>> Because of these experiences, I have learned to dig my feet in and
>>> will not follow someone who is grabbing or pulling me, especially if
>>> they are holding on to my cane arm. I will politely ask them to let
>>> go, and most people are just shocked that I don't want them to do
>>> that, especially if I have asked them for verbal directions.
>>> Unfortunately, many people think the only way to "help" a blind person
>>> is through this kind of physical maneuvering. Sometimes if I ask
>>> someone for information or directions, they will answer my question
>>> and then say, "Do you want me to help you?" I guess implying they are
>>> offering to physically lead me there. I will of course tell them they
>>> have already helped me a lot with the directions and that I really
>>> appreciate their help and don't need any more. If someone does the
>>> silent grab, or if they refuse to let go after a polite request to do
>>> so, then I will gently but firmly disengage my arm. Fortunately this
>>> has been very effective. If time allows I will give a simple
>>> explanation for not wanting to be grabbed, such as "Please don't grab
>>> me-it makes me feel off-balance" or "Please don't grab me-it's easier
>>> for me if you just walk beside me" etc. I do think that most people
>>> are just very ignorant and don't necessarily grab out of pity, but
>>> because they believe that grabbing is the most effective way to
>>> provide guidance to the blind. I try to educate them and some
>>> definitely do understand. I do feel guilty about times when I have
>>> snapped at people and not had the time to explain, such as when
>>> crossing a street or getting on a bus. But even though I feel bad, I
>>> don't regret my action because to me, it's a matter of safety above
>>> all else. I've also found that in some circumstances it's actually
>>> more efficient to do things independently than to be "helped". For
>>> instance, I went to get a pedicure a few weeks ago and the pedicurist
>>> insisted on putting my shoes and coat back on me after the pedicure
>>> was over. I tried to politely refuse, but she wouldn't hear it. Thing
>>> is, for whatever reason she was very methodical in putting my shoes
>>> on, and it took her about twice as long to do it as it would have if I
>>> had done it myself.
>>> Incidentally, I've never understood why some people get confused about
>>> sighted guide and think the technique is for them to grab my elbow and
>>> walk a step behind me. Even when I teach people the proper way, they
>>> will occasionally "get it backwards" and want to grab my elbow
>>> instead. Isn't it a lot harder to lead or guide someone if you're
>>> behind them than if you're in front of them?
>>> Best,
>>> Arielle
>>>
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